Pin Your Wings Down
by BeautifulMoreSo
Summary: Bella is leaving behind a mess of a life and diving into a world of hysterics, adventure, and maybe even a few surprises with her move to the big city of Chicago. Moving into an apartment with her two best friends is going to prove to be a wild ride.
1. Chapter 1: Your Shoes Move Me

Chapt. 1- your shoes move me.

I took in a deep breath and stepped off of the train platform. The concrete felt unfamiliar beneath my feet as I found myself being swept into the hustle and bustle of the big city. There were people on every side of me pushing past each other at speeds I didn't even think were possible for human feet. Well, speeds I knew most definitely were not possible for my own considering I could trip and fall simply standing still.

I felt so out of place clutching my suitcase to my chest instead of some fancy brief case or trendy messenger bag. My long brown hair cascaded in its messy ponytail down my back and I noticed I was one of the only people who wasn't homeless that had no make up on. Hmm. This is going to be an interesting transition.

This was going to be so much different than living in Michigan.

My hundred acres of land filled with forest and apple orchards and ponds were left behind in my trek to the city of Chicago. All of a sudden I wasn't so sure this was the right choice to have made. What would I do when I just wanted to be alone now? When I needed my space to think or read a book in solitude? I couldn't exactly walk out of my front door and sit in the grass with nothing but the breeze and rustle of leaves gracing my ears.

No. Now there would be the sounds of the city. The cars whizzing by on the streets and people walking and talking down the sidewalks. I'd hear trains and buses on their routes around the city. There is no silence here. There is no solitude.

What about my mom? My poor mother! She was all alone on those one hundred acres in that trailer we called home. I wouldn't be there when she got home from work anymore. I wouldn't be able to sit with her and watch movies or talk and laugh over coffee and toast in the mornings. What would she do without me to help keep the house clean and keep her company when she wasn't at work? I was such a selfish daughter. I can't believe I came here.

Okay, so I'm officially freaking out. It's my first big move away from home. I'm not exactly the most outgoing person in the world. I was happy and content in my own little bubble for so long, but I just HAD to go screw that up now didn't I?

Breathe, Bella. Breathe. In and out. There you go.

This will be good. This will be good. This will be..

"Bells! You made it!"

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted as the familiar voices tore through the crowd of people and jerked me back to reality. I hoped my face did not give away any of the panic I was feeling. Thank God the city was so loud and busy or they would surely hear my heart about to explode from the confines of my chest.

Looking up through the crowd and seeing Alice bouncing up and down with her wild pixie hair dancing along with her and the drop dead gorgeous smile that was spread across Rose's face calmed my nerves a bit and got me more excited to be here. The three of us girls squealed with excitement as I burst through the mass of people and into their waiting arms. I had missed my best friends for far too long now.

"Ali! Rose! Ah! I'm finally here and I made it in one piece!" I laughed as I dropped my suitcase to the sidewalk to embrace my friends a little tighter.

"You're here you're here you're HERE!" Alice squealed. The three of us laughed and Rose bent down to pick up my belongings. She pressed the button on her key chain and the trunk of Alice's bright yellow Porsche popped open. I shook my head and sighed. I already missed my big red truck and the un-fanciness of it. (Yes, I may have just made up my own word and I'm absolutely okay with that!)

I shook that thought from my head and smiled as Alice continued to bounce around like a ping pong ball. She bounced into the street on the passenger side of her car and I flinched worrying that someone would take her tiny frame out not even realizing she was so close to the oncoming traffic. I held my breath momentarily until Alice was safe in the confines of the passengers seat. I rolled my eyes and exhaled. I swear that girl has not a care in the world.

"You're driving, Rose?" I asked as I climbed into the back seat and buckled myself in.

"Unless you'd like her to drive," Rose smirked and looked at Alice from the corner of her eye. "I don't know about you but I'd like to get home in one piece. Do you really think at this point her full attention would be on the road?"

Alice bounced onto her knees and shifted against the leather seat so her beady little eyes peeked over the headrest at me. She was so alive and full of excitement that I could not help smiling back with just as much enthusiasm.

"I guess that makes sense." I laughed as Alice stuck her tongue out at Rose and then averted her attention back to me.

"I can't believe you're finally here Bella! I have so much to show you! The apartment is so great you're going to _love_ it! We'll make dinner tonight and let you get settled in, but we have to get up extra early tomorrow so we can go shopping."

I opened my mouth to protest but Alice continued to chatter at high speed to keep me from getting a word in edge wise. I caught Rose snickering in the rear view mirror and I glared at her reflection as discretely as I could.

Once Alice had her mind set on something, especially involving shopping, there was no arguing or changing her stubborn little mind.

"I mean, you just moved to the city Bells! Time to put away the overhauls and the flannel shirts. You can't go out in public in those unless you want people to start tossing change at you, ya know?" she giggled then at her joke and I finally got a word in.

"Al, calm down! I _just_ got here. I know that you're not the biggest fan of my wardrobe," I looked down at myself then feeling just a little self conscious, and a bit offended that she honestly felt I dressed so bad. I thought I looked fine! "but I really don't think that my first full day here should be spent shopping. I'd kind of just like to, I don't know, relax and get settled in." I bit down on my bottom lip waiting for her reaction.

Alice was eying me disapprovingly. I knew that I could not escape her shopping obsession forever, but if I could have one day to just be myself with my two best friends, I'd be willing to give in. Just this once.

"Please Alice, just one day. I promise once I'm settled in I'll take a day for you to play dress up with me and torture- I mean take me clothes shopping."

She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout for a few seconds but after a bit of contemplation she seemed to realize that she was still going to get her way and her face brightened up again.

"Fine. One day. Lucky for you I took the entire weekend off so that gives us plenty of time to shop before Monday." She crossed her arms and gave me a very satisfied look. I sighed and shook my head at my little friend.

Close to twenty minutes later, Rose pulled up and parallel parked in front of our apartment building. I looked out the window for a few seconds almost nervous to step out and actually admit that this was now my home. I would be sharing a big building in the middle of a huge city with a couple hundred other people and my two best friends. I would not be falling asleep in my bed to the sounds of bull frogs and crickets, but to cars, buses, trains, and the occasional sirens of some emergency vehicle. I was getting lost in my thoughts and worries when suddenly I realized I was no longer peeking up at our apartment building but at Alice standing in front of me with her hands on her delicate little hips tapping her foot at me. One of her pencil thin eye brows was cocked and her lips were set in a fine line.

"Are you just going to sit in there and stare or are you going to get out of the car and come inside?"

I shakily grabbed the handle of the car door and let myself out. Rose had my things already out of the trunk and lead us to the front door. We took the elevator to the third floor and stepped out directly in front of a giant bay window overlooking Lake Michigan.

"Wow." I breathed.

"Pretty great view, isn't it?" Rose smiled at me over her shoulder.

"I'd say."

Once we'd made our way down to the end of the hall Rose popped her key into the lock of apartment 347 and I sighed as we stepped through the door. Across the room the shades were drawn away from the slider doors that lead out to the balcony off of our dining room displaying the beautiful view of the lake. The kitchen was off of the dining room and though it wasn't very big, the new appliances looked great and I was pleased to see we had a dish washer. The living room was spacious and held a big brown fluffy looking couch, a matching recliner, a small shelf littered with DVD's and video games, and a cherry wood entertainment center complete with a 20" flat screen TV and X-BOX 360. There were a couple of picture frames on top of the entertainment center with pictures of the three of us girls back home when we were younger. It made me smile. Off of the living room were two doors that lead to the master bedroom and the other leading to the "guest" bedroom. The bathroom joined the two rooms together. This was a really nice apartment.

"Ready to see our bedroom?" Alice asked cheerfully as she skipped towards the master bedroom.

"We're all sharing a room?" I questioned, a smile playing on my lips.

"Of course we are Bella Marie! Come on, you didn't think we'd settle for any one of us being all alone in their little bed room did you? I mean, could we really _not _have a dance party room? We really have been away from each other for too long haven't we?" Rose scoffed teasingly.

A dance party room! Yes! It had been too long since the three of us girls had lived close to one another. Back home, we would have sleep overs and always dedicated a room of the house to "secret" dance parties. If you were ever hanging out and noticed one or more persons randomly missing, you knew you were most likely missing out on an intense and fast paced giggled fueled dance party in some random "secret" room of the house. It could be a bed room, a closet, a bathroom, it didn't really matter. We'd decided a long time ago that when and if we all lived together, we'd have a room of our place specifically dedicated to dance parties.

Remembering those days gave me a brilliant idea and I knew the other girls caught the spark in my eye as I turned my head to the smaller bedroom door. At the same time we all dashed for the bed room giggling like little kids on Halloween getting ready to dive into our candy bags.

"So, who's ready to 'iron a little carpet?'" Alice squealed as we burst into the bedroom and took our random respective places on the "dance floor". Ironing the carpet was a term we came up with that was originally code for "cutting the rug" and eventually just stuck whether people knew what you were talking about or not.

"Oh, hell yeah I am!" Rose said as she began doing the running man at warped speed, her long blond locks swishing frantically back and forth across her neck and cheeks. The force she exerted to get to the speed she was at made Alice and I double over in laughter.

I composed myself quickly, being used to seeing the hilarity that ensued with these circumstances. I began flashing the lights on and off in the bedroom and jumping up and down flapping the arm that wasn't attached to the light switch while Alice did the tootsie roll and we all laughed uncontrollably.

After a few minutes I stopped flickering the lights and the other girls slowed their pace.

"Getting tired already?" Alice asked slightly out of breath.

"I was just curious actually. Do you know who lives beneath you? And are they going to be mad that we're probably shaking the pictures from their walls and causing earthquake-like sensations through their apartment?"

"You mean beneath _us_ Bells. This is your place now, too." Alice corrected.

"Right. Beneath _us._"

"Actually, the apartment below ours has been vacant for a while now, we've checked." Rose said very matter-of-fact. Of course they had already researched these things. They are well experienced in the art of dance parties.

"Well, regardless, I think it's time I get the tour of our bedroom. There will be plenty of time for dance parties once I put my stuff away and can feel like I'm actually _living_ here and not just a guest in _our _apartment." I grinned.

Our bedroom was really cute and quite a bit bigger than I had expected. There was a loft bed in the far right corner of the room which I could tell was Rose's considering the bedding was all white and baby blue, and a day bed with a trundle. The walls were an off white with a giant poster of James Dean hanging just above Alice's bed. The curtains were a lacy baby blue and hung just shy of the window sill. Closer to the door, there was a giant walk-in closet with three dressers situated in the center, shoes covering the floor, and dresses and jeans hanging on the rods. I was sure I'd probably only need two drawers in one of the dressers to fit every piece of clothing I owned. I was about to comment on the fact, but I did not even have a chance to get the words out of my mouth.

"Don't worry, Bells. You'll have just as many clothes as the two of us before too long. I'll make sure of that." Alice chirped from behind me.

I sighed and threw myself down on the trundle bed.

"Greaaaat." I said sarcastically.

Rose and Alice immediately jumped on top of me and we all exploded into a fit of giggles.

"It really feels good to be with you two again." I said as I scooted over so we could try to get a little more comfortable.

"We've really missed you, Bella." Alice said as she snuggled in beside me.

I nodded my head. It really had been hard living away from my best friends for so long. I missed them dearly, but I had to "take care" of some things back home before I could join them here. Now that I had, I was sure going to make the most of it. This place was going to be a place of healing and returning to the passions and people I love most.

"When do you have to meet up with the guys?" Rose asked curling her legs up and pushing her hair back over her shoulder.

"I told them I was going to take the week to get settled in and get used to my work schedule, so probably next weekend sometime."

"Good, that gives us our nights to hang out and catch up then." she smiled.

The three of us spent some time just laying around catching up and discussing weekend plans. I eventually got up and put my clothes and toiletries away as we continued our stories and reminiscing about times back home. I noticed my stomach growl just as I was putting the final few things from my suitcase into place.

"Someone's hungry." Alice commented just as her stomach betrayed her as well.

"I'd say I'm not the only one!"

"How's pizza sound?" Rose asked as she flipped her phone open already dialing the pizza place down the street.

Alice's eyes lit up. "Pineapple and ham?" she squealed.

"What else is there?" I said knowingly as Rose placed our order.

I grinned and high-fived the girls and we all jumped up and went into the living room. I plopped onto the comfy brown couch and Alice pulled some paper plates out of the cereal cabinet. We had our pizza delivered and sat around the television to watch The Office.

It was the episode where Jim comes into work dressed up like Dwight in the beginning. The three of us ate our dinner and laughed until we cried. That was one of our favorite episodes. After seeing it for the first time, Alice had made the three of us little tote bags with a bear eating a beat and shooting laser beams out of it's eyes at little spaceships. We carried them around everywhere! We got a lot of comments on them too. Alice was so creative, I swear.

Already on a bit of a high from the three of us finally all living together, laughing so hard from watching The Office, and it being a bit late, we all decided we needed to release some of the energy from our systems by no other means of course, than a pretty happening dance party.

This time, Alice did her signature move "the stomp" as she clenched her hands into fists and shook them up and down in rhythm with her feet while she stomped circles around the floor. Her head too, was in rhythm with her limbs, causing her hair to fling wildly about her face. Rose was over in a corner trying to moonwalk, and I was doing jumping jacks and running in place around the center of the room.

After about five minutes of us jumping around and dancing without any sort of music other than our snorts and giggles, there was a loud knock on the door. The three of us stopped dancing immediately, eyes wide, and covered our mouths.

"You're the newbie, you go answer the door! Maybe they wont be mad, whoever it is, if they don't recognize you." Alice whispered frantically.

"Yeah right, Al! You're the cute one, you go answer it!" I spat back.

"Oh Lord, I'll go get it. But you two better not cower in here like a couple of wusses! I'm not going to take all the heat for this." Rose laughed as she stalked towards the door. She's always the tough one.

We all scurried out into the living room and Rose peeked through the peephole. She turned to us with her hand on the door knob and shrugged.

"I think they put their finger in front of the eye hole." She whispered, slightly annoyed. Alice and I giggled at Rose's term "eye hole". It really must be late.

We all took deep breaths, Alice hiding behind me and peeking from under my arm.

When Alice opened the door, there stood a big muscular guy in a pair of white sweat pants. He was carrying a blanket and his eyes looked full of sleep. He was about six foot four and slightly tan, I'm sure he'd have been pretty attractive if his hair wasn't in such disarray and he didn't look like he wanted to punch us all in the baby makers. Actually, the hair in disarray was pretty hot, just not the whole baby maker punching gaze.

"Hey… uhm... so where are the elephants?" the guy asked sleepily scratching his head.

"Excuse me?" Rose laughed once and looked back at us in confusion.

"The elephants... where are they?" he asked again.

Is this guy sleep walking? I wondered in my head. I bit my bottom lip trying not to laugh in case he was awake and would get offended at me finding humor in his odd question.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. We have no elephants... in... our... apartment." Rose said trying to keep her own laughter at bay.

"Oh well, if you find them could you please inform them that there are people in this apartment building who have to be up in the morning and them stampeding around above my head is keeping me from sleep. It's actually pissing me off pretty good. I'd like to not fall asleep on the job tomorrow if its at all possible." He smirked as he wrapped his blanket around his shoulders like a cape.

"Well last we checked there was no one below us so _sorry_ if we kept you awake..." Rose said seeming slightly annoyed at his smart remark.

"Mmhmm." was all he said as he turned and started to walk away. "let them know that if they're quiet the rest of the night, I'll give them a box of peanuts." he added as he walked away down the hall and back to the elevator.

Rose slammed the door and spun on her heel to look at Alice and I.

"I think that jerk just called us fat!" she fumed.

It got quiet for about ten seconds and then we all burst out laughing.

Apparently, we did have down stairs neighbors after all.


	2. Chapter 2: Beat It!

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Sorry if this feels a bit slow. This is my first fan fic and I'm pretty self conscious about letting people read what I write. To answer your question, yes we will find out what happened when Bella was away from her friends before moving to the city.

The use of the song in this chapter was actually inspired by a show I went to. I was the drum and bass tech for a band at a tour called "Taste of Chaos" and saw a band called Pierce The Veil. They covered Michael Jackson's "Beat It" and blew me away live. I loved it and I have since made it the ring tone on my phone. So there you have it folks. I hope you enjoy! Reviews are always welcome!

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chapter 2. Beat it!

The next morning I awoke with a start. I was being crushed by a bony little body who had rolled out of her bed and on top of me.

"Aliiiiiice! Wha... what the heck?" I groaned as I attempted to roll over and bury my face back in my pillow. But these sorts of gestures get Alice going even more, so she just grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back over onto my back. This is when the singing started.

She hopped to her feet bouncing up and down on the trundle around my head singing in a very 'little kid at day camp' manner, "Wake up you sleepy head! Get up get out of bed! See how the sun in shiiiiiiiniiiing!"

"Alice. Shut. Up." I groaned throwing my arm across my eyes and squeezing them shut. But she just continued her annoying little song.

"Stand up and move your toes! Get up, ITS TIME TO GO! We've got a lot to do today!"

"Alice. _Please!_" I begged groggily.

"Ohhhhh IIIIII said, 'Mommy I love you! I love you yes I do. She took a watermelon and stuck in my shoe..." then came the confused, obnoxious, and very loud speaking part of the tune, "She took a WATERMELON? and stuck it in your SHOE?! WHAT? OH! OH NO! YOU'VE FALLEN ASLEEP AGAIN! GET UP GET UP GET UP!"

By this time, I just admitted defeat and let her continue her song while I tried not to stagger to my feet and choke the little weasel.

"So, wake up you sleepy head! Get up get out of bed 'cause we've got a lot to doooooo tooooooo-daaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" then she leaped into the air one last time and landed crossed legged at my head ruffling my hair with her fingers when she finally came to rest on my bed.

Before I could even open my eyes to glare at her, I heard Alice squeal and her hand abruptly left my hair. My eyes shot open just in time to see a pillow flying through the air and come into contact with the side of Al's face. We both snapped our heads in the direction the pillow assault had occurred from to see Rose glaring at us from under her blanket.

"Shut up!" she seethed and with a scoff she pulled her blanket over her head and slammed her face into her pillow.

Alice crossed her arms with a harumph and cocked her head to the side at me.

"Seriously, this is our first full day together guys and you're going to sleep it away? No freaking way am I letting that happen!"

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and picked up my phone to check the time. I pressed the unlock button on the keys and groaned dropping my phone to my chest.

"It's eight thirty in the morning. I'm pretty sure letting us sleep another hour and a half will still give us plenty of time to enjoy each others company." I moaned."Actually, I think you all will enjoy my company a lot more if I'm not tired and pissy all day." She did not look amused. I tried again. "Besides, remember our agreement? No shopping today. This is a Bella day. A day for Bella to do what Bella wants with Bella's best friends. And really what Bella wants is more sleep. So..." I was cut short.

"I never said a thing about shopping! Just because we aren't going to shop doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other things we can do today. We should have breakfast together and then do some yoga! Then we can give you the _grand tour_ of the apartment building," as she said this she dropped her voice as low as its natural wind chime tone would allow and motioned her hand over the room like a King showing off his expanse of land and riches to a peasant boy. Even being this tired I had to laugh at how animated she was.

"We'll drive around the city and show you some of the places we like to hang out! Come on, it'll be so much fun!" the more she talked the more excited she sounded.

Rosalie's muffled voice jumped in again and she slowly shuffled out from under her blankets just enough to be heard clearly.

"The girl is living with us now you know. She'll have plenty of time to see the city and the apartment, but right now what **I **would like to see is the hunk of man that I was having such a pleasant dream about before you so generously interrupted my sleep!" Rose yelled from her cocoon in the loft. "Do you have any idea how disturbing it is to have some sexy man meat go from whispering sweet nothings in your ear to singing some chipper-ass good morning sunshine song to you in a voice similar to that of one, Tinkerbell? It's scarring, Alice. Thank you for that." Then she turned her face away from us and pulled her blankets back over her head grumbling under her breath.

I rolled over onto my stomach laughing at Rose's outburst. Alice giggled too.

After all of that I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I think Alice realized my decision as I turned my head to look at her and the smile about split her face open. She jumped up excitedly and whispered, "I'll go put on some coffee. Let's get breakfast going, I'm sure once sleeping beauty over there catches a whiff she'll be crawling out of bed in no time."

I sighed in defeat and crawled out of bed.

"Alright Al, I give."

She bounded into the kitchen and crawled to her knees on the counter. Reaching sideways into the cupboard directly above the stove she pulled a coffee canister down, set it on the counter, and hopped back to the floor. I watched her scoop four generous scoops of coffee into a filter that was already in the coffee maker, then she shut the top and hit start.

"I think I'm going to shower quick before we eat, I'm a mess this morning!" Alice squealed as she scrutinized herself in the front of the microwave.

"You're joking, right? You drag me out of bed to help you make breakfast and you're going to abandon me for a shower?"

"If you let me, we don't have to do yoga this morning." she smiled knowing I would give in immediately and turned back towards the bedroom. I sighed and shook my head.

"We really do need to go shopping for food." she said over her shoulder with an apologetic look.

"There's not much but I know we have eggs and pancake mix." she shrugged as she disappeared into the room.

I wasn't really up for pancakes today so I decided to concoct something a little more appetizing. I found a loaf of bread and the eggs she mentioned, we had just a little bit of milk and some cinnamon and vanilla extract too. French Toast it is!

I decided since I didn't have Alice or Rosalie around to help me cook that I would instead need some music of some sort to keep me company. I noticed the little clock radio hanging beneath the cupboards above the sink and flipped the switch to "radio." Just as I did, the sounds of "Beat it" by Michael Jackson filled the room. I cracked the eggs into a dish and added the milk, cinnamon, and vanilla, then grabbing a fork I began whipping up my mixture of goodness along with the song. I let my swirled my hips around in circles to the rhythm of the fork and the french toast batter nodding my head up and down in time. Before long, I could not contain how much fun I was having and I started to belt out the words, "Beat it! Beat it! No one wants to be defeated! Show 'em how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right just beat it. Just beat it!"

Keep in mind, I really can't sing to save my life. Literally, it sounds like a herd of cows in labor drowning in quicksand. But does that keep me from singing? Of course it doesn't.

My breakfast batter was finally finished so I set the bowl on the counter and picked up the loaf of bread continuing to dance and sing like a fool. I looked up from my creation to see Rosalie standing in the door way of the bedroom with her arms crossed over her chest and her face twisted into a questioning smirk. I immediately halted my mock American Idol tryout and started to laugh.

"Good morning, Rosalie." I smiled looking down at my shirt and realizing that there were splatters of egg all over the front of my pajamas.

Rose shook her head and laughed.

"Yeah. Good morning to you too, Sloppy McThriller Pants." She sauntered over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator shaking her hips along to the music filling the apartment.

"First of all, I wasn't even singing Thriller." I mocked throwing my hands to my hips.

"Secondly, I figured there's no better way to start the day than with a little Mikey and Frenchy?" I joked trying to hide my embarrassment at being caught dancing and singing all by myself. We both laughed as Rose poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Mikey and Frenchy? Really?" Rose looked at me like I was half crazy.

I shrugged and we both laughed.

"Yeah, it looked like you were having yourself a pretty damn good time if I do say so myself." She shook her head as she tipped her cup back and peered at me over the rim.

I felt the familiar heat begin to rise to my face so I quickly turned my back to her and returned to my task.

"Shut up Rose and hand me some butter."

Alice made her way out of the bathroom as I finished cooking the last pieces of French toast.

"Feel better?" I asked as I sat down at the kitchen table and gazed out of the slider doors at our amazing view.

"Much!" she chimed as she sat down next to me and served herself some of the breakfast I prepared.

"Yeah. Thanks so much for helping me cook us all this amazing meal!" I teased nudging her in the side.

The three of us ate and chattered the morning away. After I finished the dishes and took my shower I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"Shower or no, I am way too stuffed for pilates." Alice exclaimed. I mentally thanked God for my amazing cooking skills and vowed to continue the tradition of good morning meals if it meant I wouldn't have to suffer through pilates with Alice every day.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, I was thinking that we could walk down to the pier and take a look around. Show you around the area a bit. Then maybe grab some dinner a little later?" Alice said as she slid her flats on and grabbed her jacket off of the back of the couch.

"That sounds good to me." I said as picked up my tattered Chuck Taylor's and slipped them onto my feet. I looked up to see Alice staring at my feet in disgust.

"God, I can not wait until we get to shop for you tomorrow. You need serious help my dear." she said sadly.

Rosalie was already in her boots and pea coat sitting at my other side on the couch. She stood up, reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys then turned to us and smiled.

"Let's go girls!" she said as she floated past us to the front door.

When she opened the door she took one step out and I heard her foot thud against something lying on the floor. As her foot made contact, she launched it further into the hall way before I could see what it was. I stepped into the door way to peek over her shoulder as she screeched.

"No way!"

I walked around her and into the hall and Alice stepped into the door way peering around Rose. We both gasped and then burst out laughing.

There was a rather large red and white striped box of peanuts with a giant bow settled on top of it. A note written on a piece of red construction paper was attached and Rose bent down to snatch it up. She turned to us with a cocky grin on her face and unfolded the note.

"What's it say?" Alice asked bouncing up and down behind me in the door way.

"It says 'Dear elephants of 347, I really appreciate your cooperation in keeping the stampeding to a minimum. Keeping my end of the deal, here is your box of peanuts. If you continue to be nice, I may even give you a really cool bouncy ball or a nice mud bath at a later date. Always, Emmet."

"So, this wise guy's name is Emmett , eh?" She smiled slyly.

We all shook our heads in disbelief.

"Well, _Emmett, _you smart ass." Rose laughed, "these, 'elephants', might not be as sweet as you hoped." Rose tossed the note through the door and onto the couch along with the box of peanuts.

"Come on girls, we've got things to do today." She said as she walked towards the elevator. "We'll deal with our dear friend _Emmett_ later."

The rest of the day was spent walking around the city, laughing, talking, and taking in the sights. I got to see the giant metal bean in Millennium park. I drug Alice onto the ferris wheel with Rose and I at Navy Pier even though she's not a fan of heights. She grabbed onto my arm and screamed when we got to the top refusing to look anywhere but into my shoulder. After wards, we did some window shopping. I reasoned with Alice that I would go that far with her since she was allowing me the freedom from her obsessive shopping ways for today. It was all we could do to keep her from bouncing through the doors for "just a second" to check the price of some of the items we saw regardless.

That night, we decided to hit up Ed Debevek's, a restaurant closer to downtown that had pretty great food and hilariously rude servers. I ended up spewing Coke from my nose when our server referred to Rosalie as "Barbie" and asked if she wanted him to read the menu to her so she would understand what they had to offer. That, of course, only caused him to refer to me as "Lady Camel face" for the remainder of our meal. Alice thought she was in the clear, but once it was time for our bill, Greg, our server, threw the ticket on Alice's lap and said "This one's on you, Willow. The tip better not be as short as your shrimpy legs." Alice's mouth dropped open and Rose and I doubled over laughing so hard I thought my burger was going to come back up. It was probably the most entertaining meal I had ever had.

We decided to walk back to our apartment from dinner to walk off the food we'd just inhaled and enjoy the night air. It was a really great night tonight.

"So, what do you think so far?" Rose asked as we waited for the walk signal to cross the street to our apartment building.

"It's very... entertaining that's for sure." I giggled remembering our dinner that night.

"Do I seriously look like Willow?" Alice asked with a worried expression on her face.

"Of course not! You're just tiny is all. You don't wear a tunic or carry a walking stick around do you?" Rose joked.

"Oh, I wouldn't be caught dead in a tunic!" she squealed.

"My point exactly." Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head.

I had to laugh at the visual of Alice sprinting up a hill in a tunic with her walking stick. I wonder if I could convince her for Halloween. Probably not.

Looking up across the street, I saw Emmett and two other guys walking into the apartment building. One of the men was tall and looked to be pretty fit. His blond locks poked out from underneath a beanie. He walked with extremely good posture almost resembling a solider's march, only slightly more relaxed. The other guy was shorter than Emmet and the blond haired man, his t-shirt clung to his back revealing his slightly muscular build. He was leaner than the other two and had the most incredible messy bronze hair. I wished I could reach out and run my fingers through it just to see if it was as soft and wonderful as it looked. I couldn't see his face but I felt an odd stir in my stomach at the sight of him.

I was brought out of my stare when I heard Rose noisily clear her throat and looked up to see that our light had turned for us to walk and my two friends were already on the other side of the street. I shook my head and hurried to the other side to join them, tripping on the curb and nearly falling on my face.

"What was that about?" Alice asked staring at the blush rising in my cheeks.

"Nothing, I was just...I just saw Emmett and a couple of his buddies walk into the apartment and I was thinking about what we were going to do in response to his gift for us this morning." I covered. It wasn't that I felt like I was doing anything wrong by gazing at the intriguing backside of the man across the street, but it was oddly embarrassing to admit since I didn't normally ogle at guys like that. Especially not after... well. It had been a while.

"Other boys hm? Then I'm sure our 'thank you' for the peanuts will be greatly appreciated." Rose grinned as we took off upstairs to our room.

"What's the plan, Fran?" Alice asked as she jumped Indian style into the recliner. Rose didn't say anything but instead walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer pulling out a peanut butter pie.

"When life throws you peanuts, make a pie." She grinned seeming very satisfied with her idea. It was sweet and sassy enough to be a good response I thought. It would be fun to make some new friends here. I was up for a special delivery if it meant I could get a peek at this beautiful mystery man's face.

We took the steps down to the second floor and found the room directly below ours. We let Rose do the honors considering this was her bright idea and she'd been the one to actually talk to Emmett. Besides, if the joke didn't seem funny to anyone else in his room I didn't want to be seen as the idiot who did all the talking. I'd like to make a semi decent impression on beautiful mystery boy, as silly as it was.

What if he was a butter face? Wow that wasn't shallow at all, Bella. Was I really interested in a boyfriend or boy 'obsession' anyways? I mean, if he was as beautiful from the front as he was from the back why the heck would he even want to talk to _me_ of all people? Plain old me. Like I'm even ready to pursue a boy in my current condition. Wait, you're not pursuing anything! Stop freaking out, Bella. How about you just focus on making a few friends. Good idea. I realized in the midst of my worrying, that it was actually kind of loud in their apartment. I could hear... well, it sounded to me like guitars and singing? Whoever it was that was singing had an incredibly beautiful voice, or from what I could tell from behind the door. I was suddenly more eager to get the chance to peak inside.

I held my breath as Rose knocked on the door. The music stopped abruptly, but it took a few seconds before we heard anyone moving for the door. The door swung open and there stood the blond haired boy in the beanie. I heard Alice gasp and snapped my head in her direction as she stepped back a little in embarrassment.

"Hello. Can I.. help you?" the guy asked.

"Yeah, is Emmett in?" Rose asked holding the pie up in her right hand like a pizza wearing a sly grin. The guy jumped back looking as though he half expected her to slam it into his face. Alice giggled wildly. Just then I heard a familiar voice and looked back see Emmett bounding for the door way, a big goofy grin on his face.

"Well well well, look who it is!" He boomed. His arms were thrown open wide ready to attack us in a big bear hug. Rose screamed and pulled the pie protectively towards her chest trying to turn as he made his advance, but he was faster and as he threw his arms around us the pie ended up becoming squashed between she and Emmett's chests.

Everyone got deafeningly quiet. Alice and I stepped back away from the quad hug going on as Rose slowly pushed her hands against Emmet's chest and moved the two of them apart. The pie plate flopped to the floor with just a bit of the peanut butter filling and half of the graham cracker crust still in the bottom of it. Rose slowly looked up at Emmet with a look of disgust on her face as Emmet's hand moved up and he wiped his hand across his shirt and shoved all four of his fingers into his mouth. My attention was on Rose's face almost expecting her to haul off and slap him.

"MMM! Peanut Butter!" He exclaimed through his mouthful of pie. It was silent for a few seconds more but when I finally looked back up at Emmett's big goofy grin and the peanut butter dripping down his chin, I slapped my hand over my mouth and burst out laughing. Next thing I knew every one was snorting and laughing too. Did that really just happen?

"Well, I hope you've all eaten dinner because tonight, looks like dessert's on me!" Rose exclaimed and we laughed even harder.

I was doubled over in the door way laughing so hard I thought my ribs were going to break, tears streaming down my cheeks and blurring my vision. But then I caught sight of something that immediately sobered me up. I blinked furiously a few times and once the tears left my eyes I was able to get a good look at the most incredible creature I had ever set eyes on. His green eyes burned into my chocolate ones and the breath caught in my chest. His beautifully chiseled jaw line complimented his soft pink lips as they turned up in a breathtakingly crooked smile. His bronze hair was in disarray and he had an acoustic guitar settled in his lap. His gaze left mine and he set his guitar down and walked to the kitchen. I was slightly disappointed he didn't just sit there and let me stare a little longer, but then again I should really stop being such a creeper!

A few seconds later, the bronze haired boy emerged from the kitchen with two towels and he sauntered over to join everyone at the door. He handed Rose and Emmet the towels and then extended his hand towards Alice who was standing on Rose's other side now, closer to the blond haired boy.

"Alice? I'm Edward, it's a pleasure." he said, his voice full of velvet.

I realized how rude I was being, so I turned to the blond haired boy and offered my hand.

"Hi, I'm Bella."

"Jasper." He smiled warmly taking my hand in his. His grip was stronger than I anticipated, but yet very careful. He turned his smile to Alice quickly before extending his greeting to Rose who had wiped her hands and the front of her shirt as clean was possible.

"Hello." my head snapped in the direction of the velvety voice I'd heard just seconds before. The gorgeous creature was directly in front of me now with that crooked smile melting my insides. I collected myself quickly and extended my hand.

"H-Hi. I'm Bella. You're Edward?" I said shakily. I can never seem to keep my emotions at bay and I hate it. If I'm happy, sad, nervous, scared, mad, whatever the case you can always tell. My mother always used to call me her little open book.

"Bella, it's nice to meet you." He said and took my hand in his. It was the most incredible feeling ever. I did not want to let my hand fall from his grip. It was almost as though there was some jolt of electricity passing between the two of us. Or maybe, I'm just going crazy.

All too son his hand released my own and I turned my attention back to the group of us standing in the door way, stealing glances at the inhumanly gorgeous man beside me.

"Well, the elephants from upstairs were about to comment on how we'd made you dessert from your lovely gift, but I should probably go get properly cleaned up instead." Rose said looking at her mess of a shirt in disgust. We all chuckled lightly.

"Wait a minute, sister! Are you trying to cash in on that mud bath I offered in my note?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows at Rose and I noticed the confused looks on Edward and Jasper's faces.

Rose gasped and slapped Emmett's arm, then she turned shaking her head and Alice and I followed suit back down the hall. I could hear Emmet's booming laughter as we climbed the stairs. I smiled to myself as I remembered the feeling of shaking Edward's hand and thought to myself that maybe I could convince the girls to try to invite our neighbor and his friends up for a few episodes of The Office tonight.


	3. Chapter 3: Getting To Know You

We had just walked back into the apartment and I was the last through the door. Without looking behind me, I swung the door shut but I noticed it didn't make the familiar slam and click sound it should have. Instead, I turned around to see that a big muscular hand had caught the handle before it closed.

The three of us girls did not even have a chance to ask questions before Emmett came barreling into the apartment with something large and white in his grip.

I heard the other girls squeal behind me as he darted in the room with that goofy grin spread across his face running right towards Rosalie. I realized then that what he was carrying a laundry hamper. He dropped the hamper by Alice's feet snatching Rosalie up in one swift movement and slinging her over his shoulder.

Rose started to squeal and pound her fists against his back in protest.

"What the heck are you _doing_?!" she squealed

"I'm helping you get clean!" Emmett exclaimed, "I mean, I totally squashed peanut butter pie all over your shirt, the least I can do is clean it up for you, right?" He seemed so sure of himself as he proceeded to drop Rosalie from his shoulder, butt first, into his hamper. Her arms and legs were sticking out and her blond hair was in strewn across her face.

"Wait! Wha- no! What are you doing? Emmett you get me out of this hamper, right now!" Rose screeched kicking her legs around in an attempt to struggle her way out. The only thing she accomplished was tipping the hamper over, but before she hit the ground a chuckling Emmett snatched the sides of the hamper and picked the entire thing up with Rosalie still stuck inside.

Alice and I stared at each other in disbelief as Emmett dashed out the door with Rose still squealing and demanding he release her from his laundry trap. As soon as he was out of the door, we noticed we had more company than we realized. Jasper and Edward stood in the hall way in front of our door laughing hysterically and shaking their heads.

"Okay, so does he always act like this towards total strangers? Or just towards tall gorgeous blondes", Alice asked with a look of disbelief still very present across her pixie features.

"Well… Emmett is… Emmett is Emmett. He's probably the most unpredictable guy you'll ever meet." Jasper chuckled still standing in the hallway. Edward shook his head in agreement and snorted shoving his hands in his pockets and teetering back and forth from his heels to his toes.

"Poor guy is so desperate he's resorted to using his brute strength to pick up girls. I'm sure she'd have preferred he just ask for her number." He chuckled.

"Definitely adds something to the whole idea of picking up a girl and taking her out." Jasper grinned.

It got quiet for a couple of seconds and I decided to attempt to be brave and see if our new found friends would be interested in hanging around.

"You guys are more than welcome to come in. We were going to watch a couple of episodes of The Office if you'd like to join us." I asked sheepishly staring at my hands and then mimicking Edward and sticking them in the pockets of my jeans.

"I'll make some popcorn! It can be like a pajama party!" Alice squealed as she darted for the kitchen.

Much to my delight, the guys came in and shut the door behind them removing their shoes by the door.

"Oh, uhm… you don't have to do that. Make yourselves at home!" I said not wanting them to feel like they couldn't be relaxed at our place. I secretly hoped this wouldn't be the last time they came to hang around in here.

I watched as Edward followed Jasper into the living room and plopped down on our couch. I stared at the back of Edward's head aching again to reach out and run my hand through his bronze messy locks. To keep from doing so and embarrassing the daylights out of myself, I pulled my phone from my bag on the floor and checked the time. Amazing, it wasn't even eight yet. That gave us plenty of time to watch an episode or two and just hang out for a while.

"Is that a bear shooting laser beams from it eyes on your bag, Bella?" Jasper asked with a smile playing on the corner of his mouth.

I don't normally carry a purse and this bag had sentimental value to me. I forgot how odd it might seem to people who didn't understand.

"Oh, yeah, it is. Alice made it for me. Both she and Rose have one to match." I said holding my bag up proudly so that Edward and Jasper could see it more clearly.

"Holy crap it's eating a beet isn't it?!" Edward was now leaning over the back of the couch gawking at my bag.

Then the boys started the monologue that solidified the bond between us all.

"Question. What type of bear is best?" Edward asked turning to Jasper.

"That's a ridiculous question- "Jasper replied.

"False. Black bear."

Alice darted out of the kitchen then. "Are you serious right now?" She squealed looking between the two boys and then down at me. She and I stared at each other with our mouths agape as the boys continued their performance.

"Well that's debatable, there are basically two schools of thought- "

"Fact. Bears eat beets... bears beats Battle Star Galactica!"

"Bears do not… What… What are you doing? Well imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you." Jasper was looking so convincingly frantic that I wanted to freaking high five him but wasn't about to interrupt the monologue, but by this time all four of us were cracking up.

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!" Jasper yelled as he jumped up and quickly stomped off for the bathroom. His facial expression had turned sarcastically serious as he turned the corner and disappeared into the room. Edward was doubled over on the couch in silent laughter and Alice and I were rolling around on the floor clutching our stomachs and laughing hysterically.

When we'd finally composed ourselves, I heard the "Pop! Pop! Pop!" of the popcorn from the kitchen and walked into the living room to grab my Office DVDs. Jasper returned and everyone got settled comfortably around the living room while I popped in the disc. Alice sat in the recliner cross legged, Jasper and Edward took the couch and I settled on my stomach on the floor snatching a big pillow from the couch to lie on. It just felt comfortable and natural to hang out with these guys like this and I smiled to myself at the thought. It had been a long time since I'd felt at home with people other than Rose and Alice.

We were half way through our second episode when we heard the door open and Rose and Emmett walked in. She had a giant gray hooded sweatshirt on and her now clean t-shirt draped over her arm. Emmett looked very accomplished and Rosalie seemed much happier now wrapped in the big warm sweatshirt.

"Care to join us you two?" Alice grinned from the recliner tossing a couple of popcorn kernels at them.

"OOOOOH! Popcorn! Heck yes I would!" Emmett cheered bounding towards the popcorn bowl like his long lost lover. He snatched a giant handful dropping small shards to his newly cleaned t-shirt and leaving trails of salt and butter down his chin.

"Ya got any peanut butter by chance?" he asked chomping like a cow on its cud.

"Em, come on man! That's so gross!" Edward exclaimed.

"What? It tastes so good. I need it. In my mouth. Right now." He said dreamily rubbing his stomach with his hand and turning for the kitchen. We all laughed at his goofy obsession with food. He seemed pretty partial to peanut butter, but peanut butter with his popcorn?

A few seconds later we heard his cheer of victory as he jogged out of the kitchen holding the Jiffy above his head like a trophy. He popped the lid off, grabbed a couple of kernels of popcorn, and smooshed them into the container. Rose and I both cringed.

"You're joking, right?" I laughed from the living room floor.

"Not a chance girlfriend! This is the best snackity snack you'll ever get your pretty little mouth on!" He said as he pulled the peanut butter covered popcorn from the jar and popped them into his mouth. He closed his eyes then making a very satisfied "mmm" sound and went back for more.

The rest of us, save Jasper, declined his offer for the peanut butter popcorn, vowing to maybe give it a try another time. Rose and Emmett took to the living room floor with me and we watched a couple more episodes of the office. Around 10:30 I was starting to nod off and decided I could not take anymore television. I sat up rubbing my eyes sleepily and noticed that Edward and Jasper were curled up together on the couch sound asleep. Edward's head was on Jasper's shoulder and jasper had his head resting on the top of Edward's. It was quite a site.

I tapped Rose on the shoulder stifling a laugh and pointed behind me. I turned to look at Alice who was also chuckling to herself and snapping pictures with her cell phone. Rose leaned over to Emmett and nudged his side and when he turned and saw the other guys snuggled up he immediately jumped to his feet and dove onto the two of them landing on his side in a very suggestive pose with his left arm propping his head up and his legs crossed over one another. The boys immediately startled awake and looked at each other awkwardly before meeting Emmett's gaze.

"Well, hello there sleeping beauties", Emmett batted his eyes and puckered his lips a bit. "Mind if I join you?" He teased.

The three of us girls started laughing and Edward and Jasper shoved Emmett onto the floor. He landed with a thud and joined in with our laughter as well.

Eventually, our laughter subsided and the two boys took their respective places on opposite ends of the couch. Emmett stretched his legs in front of him leaning back on his elbows with Rose sitting beside him, her legs bent and her chin resting on her knees. I pushed myself up on my elbows as we chattered about life and spent the night getting to know one another.

"So, how do you three know each other exactly?" I asked.

"Emmett and I are brothers," Edward started "and Jasper is our cousin. The three of us grew up together back in Washington before we moved here to go to school."

"_I _was the first to graduate and these two just couldn't handle life with out me." Emmett crooned placing his hands over his chest and smiling dreamily, mouth closed, and fluttering his eye lashes.

Jasper scoffed and Edward snorted.

"Hey, there's no shame!" I commented. "I know exactly how that feels. I was the last musketeer to finally get my butt in gear and move to the city too."

"Where did you move from?" Edward was staring at me rather intently, or so I thought, and I dropped my gaze to my hands.

"Uhm, Michigan." I said looking up at Emmett as he threw his left hand into the air.

"Are you from here?" He pointed at the center of his palm. "Or here?" then he pointed at his thumb "Or no, wait! I bet its here. It's here isn't it?!" he said pointing at the bottom of his hand.

"Well, for one, you're not even using the correct hand." I scolded, rolling my eyes and grabbing his right hand. Everyone laughed.

"I'm actually from here," I pointed using my best kindergarten teacher voice and pointed at the bottom outside corner of my hand.

"Jeez, sorry Michigan! I'm not from your crazy glove shaped state! I don't know what hand is the correct 'lemme show you where I'm from' hand!" Emmett defended himself.

"So, did the two of you move here at the same time then?" Jasper asked his gaze on Alice.

"Yeah, we moved here together right after graduation actually."

"So, wait. Bella, you said you were the last to move here? Why didn't you move here with them?" All eyes were suddenly on me and I felt my face flush and my stomach churn. My mouth went dry and my hands got clammy. Oh God, do not cry in front of everyone Bella! I was starting to panic. _He_ was the reason I didn't come with my best friends. The boy I fell in love with and gave everything to and who promised me the world but instead ripped my heart out. He was the reason I stayed and the reason I left and I was not about to talk about him now.

"Uhm, she had some things to take care of back at home." Alice tried to help me out noticing my distress I'm sure.

"Like financial stuff? Family situation? A boy?" Emmett persisted. Why was everyone so curious about what I was doing before Chicago? What did it matter? There was no rule book saying we all had to move together at the exact same time! Now I was starting to get angry.

"Why did_ you_ move here before your other two 'musketeers'? Why didn't you wait to move after they graduated?" Rose countered. I shot her a look of gratitude.

"Musketeers! We're cooler than musketeers. We're like, the three ninjas!" Emmett said proudly. "I'd be Rocky, because he's the oldest-"

"Yeah right dude, you're totally Tum Tum!" Jasper laughed pointing to the peanut butter streaked across Emmett's chest.

"No, Edward is Tum Tum, and you're Colt. I can't be Tum Tum, it's not chronologically correct, dear cousin."

The two of them continued to go back and forth for a while and thankfully that took the focus off of me. I prayed silently that it would not be brought up again, I could not handle talking about this right now, and especially with people I hardly knew. I was trying to work through my past and my hurt but I was working on enjoying myself and I couldn't do that very well if my mind was focused on him. Thank God for Rose. I looked up and caught Edward still staring in my direction, but he quickly looked away once he saw that I noticed.

Nothing was brought up again about why I hadn't moved with Alice and Rose after we graduated, thank goodness. The rest of the night was spent laughing and just talking like we had all known each other forever. It felt so good to be making new friends here so quickly. I was really starting to believe that I could heal and get better here. I tried not to think about the process of it though because that would only make me think about what it was that I was healing from. The ache that wracked my body when I was alone and had time to think was not something I was going to let myself give into anymore and I was really happy that I seemed to have found people who could distract me from such things. That is, until I was asleep and vulnerable. That night was the first night in over a month that I had dreamt of _him_. It was really unexpected considering the relaxing and enjoyable night we had with the boys downstairs, save that one tiny incident. I thought if anything I would have pleasant dreams or maybe even none at all.

I should be so lucky.

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, my face wet with tears, my blankets strewn across the floor and my pajamas twisted around my body. I quickly realized that my pajamas weren't the only things wrapped around me, but Alice's tiny arms were around me as well.

"Are you finally awake?" She whispered.

I just nodded my head not trusting my voice. I turned my head and realized Alice, though puffy eyed and sleepy faced, was wearing a slightly worried expression. I immediately felt awful and sat up reaching over Alice to grab my blanket from the floor.

"Do you wanna talk, Bells? I know… I know things are hard for you and-"

"No. Not now." I started to get up.

"Where are you going? It's okay, I'm awake. You really don't have to-"

"I don't want to keep you two up. I'm going to go sleep on the couch." I didn't mean to be harsh but four in the morning was no time to talk and I was too exhausted from the nightmares keeping what little sleep I did have from being restful. Besides, I wasn't about to tell Alice that I was too afraid to fall back asleep and that really I just wanted to be alone to cry and not keep she and Rose awake. They didn't need to deal with this again. I hated that he still had this affect on me and I was really hoping the nightmares were over, but apparently I was wrong.

"We'll talk tomorrow or something, Al. Promise," I said much softer now throwing her an apologetic smile and she gave me a quick squeeze before crawling back up into her bed.

"Okay. Love you, Bella." She whispered and I gave her a sleepy half smile before I walked out of the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind me. I curled up into a ball on the couch covering my entire body with my blanket and silently crying myself back into a dreamless sleep.

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A/N: Okay so this chapter was a bit shorter and ended a little less chipper but I am trying to incorporate the things from Bella's past. The details will come out soon, so I'm sorry if this is a bit confusing. I'm sure you can all guess who "he" is haha. If you're still reading thank you, I really appreciate it! I'm going to be doing some traveling in the next few days so my update might not come as fast. But if I have time while I'm away I'll keep working on it. Hope you all have a fantaaaastic weekend!


	4. Chapter 4: So Let's Cause A Scene

So, my weekend off turned into almost an entire week with friends coming from Ohio, Indiana and up further in the great state of Michigan to see me and hang out and steal me away from my story for a while haha. I apologize.

I'm getting ready to move for the summer and that's been keeping me occupied as well. But never fear! I'm sure once things are settled down a bit I'll be back in the zone.

Anyways, here's chapter four. Hope it was worth the wait!

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Alice can be overbearing and pushy when she wants to be, but God love her, she can also be a total saint. I woke up late the next morning with my blanket tucked neatly over my shoulders and a cup of coffee on a dinner tray by my head. I smiled to myself and rubbed my eyes sitting up to see where the girls were. Alice was just putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and I could hear the shower running letting me know Rose was getting ready for the day.

"Morning, Sunshine!" Alice walked into the living room holding a big blue mug full of coffee that read "It could be worse, you could put your bra on backward and it could fit better!" She was already dressed and even had her hair done and her face put on.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in a bit. I know you're pumped up about shopping today." I picked up my cup and welcomed the warmth of the coffee to my cold empty belly.

"You needed the sleep. I know shopping isn't exactly number one on your list of exciting things to do, but I want you to at least be well rested and have some kind of fun today." She smiled cupping her hands on either sides of her mug.

"Believe it or not, I actually want to go with you today." I meant it. I really did need something to keep myself occupied so I would not spend the entirety of it sulking and thinking about the nightmares that taunted me last night. Getting away from the apartment for the day, even if it was so Alice could pick my fashion sense apart and dress me up like a Barbie doll, would do me a lot of good. Besides, tomorrow 'real life' started up again as the girls would go back to work and I would go in to meet the people I would be working with come Tuesday.

Alice was sitting in the big puffy recliner with her ankles crossed, not touching the ground and bouncing up and down in her seat. Her eyes were full of excitement and I cringed just waiting for her to start sloshing coffee into her lap. Maybe that's the reason they chose brown for the furniture.

"I was thinking we could go down to the Urban Outfitters and American Apparel stores on State first. They're two of my favorites. I think you would actually really enjoy some of the clothes they have to offer!"

"Yeah, from the sounds of it, it seems like my checkbook is going to love what they have to offer too."

Alice rolled her eyes still bouncing like a kangaroo.

"What would you rather spend the money on? Bills? Food? Books?" she teased.

"All completely understandable things to spend my hard earned money on, don't you think? A cute outfit isn't going to keep me from getting my phone turned off or being kicked out of my apartment." I argued.

"That's debatable." Alice started eying me suggestively and giggling to herself. "Some of those phone salesmen are _real_ appreciative of a beautiful young woman who knows how to dress, especially one who just needs a little extra time to pay her phone bill?" She batted her eyes and pouted her lips.

"Oh, whatever! I'm sorry but the only thing I am even remotely capable of flirting with is disaster and I sure am not the type to pull off dressing up and getting things from people for it. I'm not you or Rosalie, Alice. Let's be serious here."

"Whatever, Bells. It's not like you've never won a boy over before." She said matter-of-factly.

I put my head down and was suddenly very interested in my reflection in my coffee cup. It got quiet on Alice's end then too and I knew she'd regretted her last statement.

"I didn't mean- I'm sorry." She whispered.

I felt my face getting hot and the lump in my throat start to rise. I set my coffee cup down then and looked up at Alice.

"You know, I really should just get over this," I clapped my hands together and shoved them into my lap. "It was a mistake. We weren't good for each other and I never should have tried as hard as I did to make it work," I shook my head trying to keep the traitor tears at bay. "Don't be sorry, Alice."

She gave me an apologetic half smile and then took a deep breath questioning me with her eyes. I could tell she wanted to ask about the dream last night but I really didn't want to talk about it. I wanted today to be fun. It was the last free day we had until work and real life came back into play. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath smiling at her then.

"So, can I ask?" she started.

I shook my head at her. "After the shopping trip?" I pleaded. She nodded and Rose emerged from the bedroom looking, as always, like a million bucks. Her blond hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. She had a black spaghetti strap tank top on with a white half jacket over the top and a pair of white skinny jeans. Even with no make up on she looked super model gorgeous. It made me wish I could punch her in the face and steal her beauty sometimes.

"You'd better get going! We've got some serious shopping to do today, girls!" Rose demanded as she plopped onto the couch with her black boots in hand.

"Okay, okay! I'm going! Yeesh! Can't a girl have a few minutes to wake up and streeeetttccchhhh!" I moaned as I stood up kicking one leg behind me and stretching my arms way out above my head and then bending over to touch my toes. My butt ended up right by Rosalie's head and she scoffed then swatted me on the rear end with her hand. I squealed and pranced into the bathroom to take my shower, leaving the two of them giggling in the living room behind me.

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It was a surprisingly beautiful day and I was happy the weather was so good for us to be outside walking around. The sunshine felt good against my skin and the light breeze that swept around the city was a welcomed balance for its heat. Alice was always a few strides ahead of Rose and I chattering excitedly about her amazing finds on the sales racks in the more pricey stores in town. It made me happy to know I could help make Alice so happy just by agreeing to walk into a few stores with her.

Our first stop was Urban Outfitters. I have to admit, I did enjoy quite a few of the shirts and jackets they had there, but I was not impressed by the cost at all. That stuff was not worth the price you had to pay to own it. Alice shoved me into the dressing room with an armful of v-neck t-shirts, pearl snap button ups, and some sweaters.

"We'll get to the pants and shoes next!" she yelled from the other side of the dressing room door.

"Fantastic," I breathed dropping my items to the floor and pulling my own shirt over my head. I kept my back to the mirror not wanting to look at myself shirtless and slipped a white V-neck t-shirt with a big dead tree printed up the side over my head and turned to look. It fit nicely, but it was definitely way too thin. I'd like to keep the color of my bra a secret from everyone not showcase it to the whole world, thanks.

"Can I see yet? Which one did you try on? Come out here, Bells I wanna see!" Alice started rapping on the door with her tiny little knuckles.

"I'd rather not. I don't want to show everyone my nice green bra, Alice." I whispered starting to pull the shirt over my head.

"That's why you buy tank tops, my dear. They work wonders when you wear them layered under thinner shirts and they look adorable!" Always the fashionista I swear!

I opened the door then with my arm over my chest and grabbed Alice by the shoulder dragging her into the dressing room with me.

"I'm not going to walk out there in any of these so you might as well just stay in here with me and give me your opinion." She seemed please with that.

Fifteen minutes and plenty of arguing later, we emerged from the dressing room, me with my hair in disarray from having to pull what felt like a million shirts over my head, and Alice looking very pleased with her self for convincing me to get four of the shirts we went in with. That was definitely a feat in itself.

We spent the entire afternoon running in and out of stores, looking at this, and buying that, and trying on outfit after outfit after outfit. I felt literally like one of those American Girl Dolls and Alice was an obsessive little girl who was having the time of her life dressing me up. To Alice's extreme pleasure I bought my first pair of skinny jeans. They were much tighter than what I was used to wearing and I felt a little too exposed for my liking, but I have to admit, I didn't realize I had the curves in my hips and thighs that I saw when I put them on and looked at myself in the mirror.

Come dinner time, the three of us girls lugged our purchases into Chipotle and sat down by the window so we could eat our burritos and people watch. I was exhausted and starving by the time we sat down with our food.

"I'd say today was a major success!" Alice set her napkin in her lap and smiled up at us . She then peeked down grinning like a Cheshire cat at the new flats she insisted I buy and immediately begin to break in.

"Yeah, my feet are killing me. Great success." I said slipping my foot out of one of them and massaging the sole with my fingers.

"I have to say, I'm impressed on the amount of clothing we got you to actually buy." Rose peeled open the foil on her burrito.

I nodded, slipping my foot back into my shoe and taking a big bite out of my burrito. I turned my face then to look out the window and passing by at that moment was a very familiar looking duo. Emmett and Edward. _Oh God, please don't turn around and see me with my face overflowing with burrito-y goodness. _I thought when Edwards head turned and his eyes caught mine. I gasped and turned my head and immediately started to choke. I began coughing out hunks of my burrito. Alice was at my side in seconds with her teeny arms around my stomach attempting to give me the Heimlich.

"Oh! Bella! Oh no!" She squealed. Her little elbows started to dig into my sides and, being the ungodly ticklish woman that I am, I started to laugh which only caused me to choke harder on my burrito. By this time, tears were streaming down my face, my cheeks were a good shade of bright red, and I had guacamole coming out of my nose. I had to get out of this before I really choked to death, so I started swatting Alice's arms and attempted to stand up, grabbing my napkin and covering my face.

This was so embarrassing. Even more so because Alice didn't get the hint and when I stood up she was still attached to me and immediately toppled backwards and hit the floor butt first.

"Here, hands above your head!" Rose instructed then pulling both of my hands up into the air as I shook my head in protest. I had managed to get a good glob of beans and rice into the napkin and when she had pulled my hands from my face a nice chunk of it fell from the napkin and onto her shoes.

"Oh, Gross!" She cried letting go of my wrists and kicking the mess from her shoe.

By this time we had ourselves quite the audience. I finally stepped back hocking the remainder of the burrito that had finally come out of my windpipe into my napkin and grabbing the back of my chair, I steadied my self and started to gasp for air. I was suddenly surrounded by a few worried bystanders, two of the Chipotle employees, and my two friends, all of whom seemed genuinely worried. I, however, was so embarrassed that I couldn't look anyone in the face. All I wanted in that moment was to run out of the restaurant all the way back to the apartment and hide in my room for the next century.

"Here, drink this." My head snapped up then in shock. Edward. Oh no. Not Edward.

There he stood in all his beautiful, perfect glory a worried expression on his face and a glass of water in his hand. He used the other hand to lightly pat my back. I opened and closed my mouth a few times not really sure what I wanted to say so I just said nothing, took the water, and gulped it down. I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth and looked down at my hands. The heat in my cheeks was flaming hot and I didn't want anyone to see just how horribly mortified I really was.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"Are you okay? You caused quite the commotion in here." Edward said sounding relieved now.

I just nodded my head still not looking up at anyone.

"Holy burrito Bells! You got that crap everywhere. You'd probably do real good at that pit spitting thing they do in Michigan with the distance you managed!" Emmett laughed. My face turned an impossibly darker shade of red and I bit down on my bottom lip.

I saw Edward shake his head at Emmett from the corner of my eye and Emmett turned to wipe the rest of the mess from the floor at Rose's feet.

"Why don't you sit back down, take a breather." Rose suggested pulling my chair out and attempting to guide me into it.

I shook my head furiously. There was no way I was going to sit back down with all of these people staring at me and be able to enjoy the burrito that put an end to my dignity and attempted to put an end to my life.

"I'm sure this is the last place you want to stay, and that," Edward pointed to my burrito "is probably the last thing you really want to eat. If you'd like you can come back to the apartment building with us and we can order in." He was right next to my ear speaking just to me.

"I think that's a good idea. We've had enough excitment out here for the day. Let's take our food to go." Alice said attempting to clean up my basket and scoop my bags into her arms.

"I-I've got it." I offered finally breaking the gaze with my fingers and taking my basket from Alice.

"Thanks. I'm so sorry guys-"

"Oh you should be. I'm so sure you were so desperate to get back home that you feigned choking on your dinner to get us to leave." Rose interrupted placing her hands on her hips in mock disapproval.

I laughed then. "Yeah you know me." I shrugged dumping my trash into the trash can and turning back for my bags. To my surprise, Edward already had them in his arms.

"You don't have to do that. I can carry them." I said reaching out for his arms but he just shook his head and opened the door nodding his head for me to go through.

I was walking a head of the group desperately searching for an empty taxi so I could go hide in my apartment for the rest of the evening when I heard Alices little feet clicking behind me in an attempt to catch up.

"You okay?" She whispered when she caught up to me.

"Oh yeah. Just fine. Other than being completely mortified and wanting to crawl into a hole and die." I scoffed.

"We're all just glad you didn't choke to death. Don't be embarassed. If anything you just had us all scared." She comforted locking her arm with mine then. I smiled down at her.

"sorry."

"Don't be." It was quiet for a few seconds and I could hear Edward, Emmett, and Rose chattering about something other than the incident and that made me relax a bit.

"Oh, and Bella?" Alice chimed.

I spotted our taxi then and waved him down.

"Yeah?"

"When we get back, you've got some explaining to do about last night."

I groaned and we all piled into the taxi to head back home.


	5. Chapter 5: Speak

I apologize again for the delay. I am finally moved into my brother's house in florida and have the next week to do nothing. So, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon:) Thank you so much to those of you who have left reviews and added my story to your favorites. I love you guys!

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Jasper had gone down to their apartment to get Emmett, Rose was putting she and Alice's food onto plates to put in the microwave, and Edward was in the kitchen looking through the phonebook for any sort of food places that were close and looked appetizing. As for me, I was plopped down on the couch pretending to watch TV so that I could act like Alice wasn't staring a hole through my head.

I knew it would have to come out sooner than later, but really. It was just a stupid dream it wasn't like I actually had some sort of contact with him. It was nothing I felt needed to be discussed, I could easily move forward with my day, week, month, year, _life_ without needing to talk about a stupid dream.

"What do you like on your pizza, Bella?" I craned my neck around to look at Edward who was on the phone standing in the door way of the kitchen. He had his hand over the receiver of the phone and I opened my mouth to answer but was cut off.

"Pineapple and ham!" Alice chirped from the recliner not giving me a chance to answer and certainly not taking her eyes off of me.

I gave him a half smile and nod and turned quickly back to the television. The television that had suddenly turned off. I looked down at the now empty arm of the couch where I had set the remote. I thought I'd maybe knocked it to the floor so I leaned over the couch arm and scanned the carpet to no avail. Slowly I looked up to see Alice standing in front of me, remote in hand. She tossed it into the seat of the recliner and stuck her hand out towards me.

"Let's go. We've got 25 minutes before your dinner will be here." It wasn't a question or even an offer, but a demand. I hung my head in defeat and followed Alice into the bedroom closing the door behind me.

Alice climbed onto her bed and patted the spot beside her. I sat down facing her, letting one leg dangle off the side of the bed and tucking the other one in so my foot rested against my thigh. I took a deep breath and decided it would just be better to get it all out as fast as possible.

"Alice it really isn't that big of a deal. I've just been emotional because of the move and being so busy, plus it was late and I was tired. I'm fine." She nodded but the firm line her mouth was set in and her unwavering stare told me she wanted me to continue.

"Ok. I was standing in the driveway back home. He had his car full of his stuff and I was crying. I guess he was moving away or something, but he put his hands on either side of my face and kissed me. Like he used to. When things were good, ya know? When Jacob was my Jacob. I just kept asking him why he was leaving and why I wasn't good enough. What I could do to fix things and what I could do to get him to stay. Then he smiled but it wasn't my smile. He wasn't my Jacob anymore. He was the Jacob he's been for the past year and a half. I stepped away from him and he got in his car and before he drove away he rolled his window down and said, 'because I lied when I said I loved you. And you're not worth sticking around for.' I was screaming at him and running after his car while he drove away and that's when I woke up." I took a deep breath and curled both of my legs into my chest to keep the ripping feeling in my chest at bay. I refused to get sad or cry over a stupid dream about a stupid boy who didn't deserve me.

Alice jumped up to her knees slinging her arms around my neck then and kissed my cheek.

"I know that's not how it happened, but that's how he made me feel for so long. Like he didn't love me and that I wasn't worth fighting for. I guess my mind likes to wander to stupid places when I sleep." I tried to shrug it off.

"Bells, you don't still love him, right?" She leaned back to look me in the face resting her hands on my shoulders.

"No. I left this time, remember? I fell in love with a boy that doesn't really exist and I'm over it. I got out, I got away. It just hurts to hear that stuff even if it is only a dream, you know?" I shifted my position again so I was sitting indian style and let my hands rest in my lap.

"I know you did, and I'm so proud of you." she squeezed my right shoulder with the hand resting on it. "and you better know that you not being worth fighting for is total crap. You're more amazing than you know and you deserve someone who is going to love you the way you love people, and who knows how to treat a woman. You deserve better than what you got from that relationship. "

"I know, Alice. Thanks." I looked down at my hands resting in my lap and sighed.

"I think you may have a chance to try at 'better', if I may say so myself." I snapped my head up in shock, narrowing my eyes.

"What does that mean?" Had she noticed why I made a laughing stock of myself in Chipotle? That I wasn't just overly enthusiastic about eating, taken too big a bite, and nearly choked to death on my meal?

"I _mean_ that you seem to be pretty fascinated by a certain Edward Cullen." I stared at her in disbelief, my mouth hanging open not knowing what to say. I wanted to protest and shove her tiny ass off the bed, but she didn't really say that I wanted to date him, she just said I was fascinated. Which could be true. Maybe.

"Alice, I hardly know the guy. I mean, yeah, I'll admit I think he's very… attractive" _way too attractive for someone as plain Jane as I am. _I could feel my blush betraying me once again. Alice began to laugh and I cursed myself again for being so emotionally readable.

"I want to be his friend, for sure. I mean, just because I'm attracted to him doesn't mean I'm looking for or ready for anything but a friendship from this practical stranger." _This practical stranger who was sweet enough to come to my rescue when I was choking on a burrito simply because I saw him walking down the street. God. No one, __**especially him**__, can ever know that!_

"With time, Bells. You'll be okay with time and you never know what can happen." She smiled triumphantly then.

"Oh, and you can be so sure about 'what can happen'?"

"I have a knack for these things, remember?" she tapped her finger against her temple then and I rolled my eyes. She thinks she's some psychic, I swear.

"So, speaking of being fascinated with certain male members of the Cullen family." I smiled wickedly as I saw Alice's face flush. "What about your little crush on Jasper?" I said then, crossing my arms across my chest, secretly willing my heart beat to slow back to a normal pace.

But of course, she was saved by the bell- or the Rosalie as she flung open the bedroom door.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not trying to spy, I just have to piss like a racehorse!" Rose hesitated at the door dancing in place like an excited pony.

"No, Rose, you're fine. We were just talking girl crap, it's no big deal." Alice seemed all too willing to get out of the bedroom now that the focus was on her secret fascination. _Now you know how it feels! _I thought to myself.

Rose looked back and forth between us for a second looking both curious and panicked that she was going to wet herself where she stood but Alice gave her the 'don't worry ill tell you later' look and that seemed to satisfy her. She nodded and then dashed past us to the bathroom.

I sighed and walked back out into the living room. Edward was gone now and the apartment was empty. Walking closer to the kitchen I could hear a weird zapping sound coming from somewhere inside and it was quickly followed by the smell of smoke.

"Do you smell something burning?" Alice was sniffing the air right behind me.

The smoke detector above the stove started to wail. We shot each other worried glances and hurried into the kitchen to see the microwave smoking from the back and to witness its final few sparks before it bit the dust.

Alice squealed and ran over to pop the door of the microwave open while I snagged the flour from the canister on the counter and tossed a handful onto the tiny flame dancing in the middle of the tray.

"Oh my gosh! I forgot to take the foil wrapper off of our burritos!" Rose was now standing in the kitchen, her eyes as wide as saucers and a hand clasped over her mouth.

"Obviously!" Alice coughed snatching the hand towel from the stove handle and waving it around to disperse the smoke.

"You guys okay in here?" Jasper ran into the kitchen with Emmett on his heels.

"Rose forgot to take the foil off of our burritos before she stuck them in the microwave." Alice pulled the plate from the microwave and tossed it in the trash can crinkling her nose at the smell.

I leaned back against the counter and wiped my hand across my slightly sweaty brow.

"I had to pee so bad I wasn't thinking straight. I can't believe-I just- UGH!"

Rose looked at me then and went from being flustered and slightly embarrassed to laughing hysterically.

I cocked my head at her and narrowed my eyes in confusion. Was the smoke going to her brain?

"You've got a little something on your forehead, kiddo." She managed to choke out between giggles.

It was then, of course, that Edward decided to walk in holding the pizzas in his hands. I stared at him in horror as realization came over me and everyone burst out laughing along with Rose. I looked down at the canister I was holding in my left arm and saw that, indeed, my right hand was still covered in flour. There was a nice streak on the back of my hand that had been cleaned off by my forehead. I snatched the towel from Alice's hand and wiped my forehead off. It was then that I started to giggle too at the ridiculous of this situation and the rotten luck we all seemed to have tonight.

"Flour?" Jasper questioned composing his laughter.

I shrugged then. "I knew water wouldn't be the smart thing to throw since the mic was still plugged in, so I grabbed the flour!" I laughed.

"Babe, that's grease fires, not electrical." Alice smirked and I laughed at myself a little harder.

"I know but I didn't know where the fire extinguisher was. Sorry I panicked! Burning down the apartment wouldn't exactly be the best way to end this already insanely unlucky day!" I said attempting to defend myself.

"The fire is out, if you notice." Edward defended me then setting the pizzas on the dining room table. Why is he so sweet? I mean, he really should be picking and teasing at me like everyone else. I smiled my thanks at him and turned to stick my tongue out at Alice.

"Looks like you ladies are gonna need a new microwave!" Emmett boomed as he inspected the damage. He reached back with the towel and quickly unplugged the dead microwave. "But that's a matter we don't need to worry about now. What we need to worry about now is demolishing that beautifully greasy pizza sitting in the box over there." He said pointing at the kitchen table.

We all laughed and followed his charging form into the dining room. I snatched the paper plates from the kitchen and tossed them to the table beside the pizza boxes. Emmett, I swear, had grabbed a plate from the stack before they'd even hit the table.

"Emmett! Ladies first!" Edward laughed slapping his brothers' big hand away from the box of pizza.

"What? No way Eddie! First come, first serve!" He reached for the box again but Edward was faster. He slammed the lid closed on the pizza box and turned his back to Emmett snatching the stack of paper plates in the process.

"Little brother, you should know by now never to mess with a hungry Emmett! There's a reason mom always called me her big bear!" He then tore off around the table towards Edward.

This could be bad.

"Edward, just let him have the dang pizza! I can wait five extra seconds to get mine, I'm not starving to death!" I squealed.

It did no good. Brothers!

Edward took off around the table with Emmett hot on his heels. Somehow he had managed to open the box and plop a steaming piece of pizza onto it while still running from a very hungry Emmett.

As he came for our side of the table, Jasper reached over and pulled Alice into him protectively. I raised my eyebrows in slight shock but didn't really have time to think about it seeing that I had to grab the plate from Edward's hands as he ran past me winking behind his shoulder as he passed.

"You are in for the beating of your life, Dorkward! Gimme the dang pizza!" Emmett was now dodging back and forth on the opposite side of the table as we had all stepped back to give the boys their space.

Edward looked up triumphantly then setting the box down on the table. I noticed he had two other plates balanced on one hand and in the elbow of the same arm. He passed both plates to Alice and Rose as Emmett grabbed three pieces from the box, shoving one piece into his mouth and dropping the other two onto his plate.

"You know, you're a real turd sometimes." Emmett boomed through a mouthful of pizza.

"Yeah, and you're a freaking pig!" Edward said shaking his head and grabbing some pizza for himself.

"No kidding!" Rose said in shaking her head in disbelief. "Remind me never to get in your way at a buffet!"

Emmett hung his head then looking a little embarrassed. "Sorry Rosie." He said walking over and offering her a piece of his pizza.

"No thanks, Papa Bear. I have my own, no thanks to you!" she teased.

We all laughed and walked into the living room to sit down and eat our dinner. Sitting in our respective places with Emmett, Rose and I on the floor, Jasper and Edward on the couch, and Alice in the recliner we chowed down on our pizza and talked. It was then that I realized just how quickly we all were becoming like a little family. Granted, it had only been a few days since I got here but I saw the potential in these relationships. It just came natural for us to be together and take care of each other.

Maybe Alice was right, things _will_ get better. Edward looked up at me and smiled noticing I was lost in thought. I smiled at him sheepishly. He winked and went back to his conversation with Jasper and Rosalie while Emmett continued to devour his pizza. I just sat back again watching and thinking back again on my earlier conversation with Alice.

No maybes. Alice _was_ right. And really, who knows what will happen?

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The next chapter is where the story really gets rolling. Everyone will be going to their jobs and such, more Jacob drama to come, and some new characters will be introduced. Thanks again for reading!


	6. Chapter 6: 27000 Questions

First off, a couple of big thank you's are in order: first to all of you who have favorited/story alerted/ subscribed/ and reviewed me. It feels go to know people are liking what I have to write even if I'm not always so sure about it haha.

HUUUUGE thank you to my beta bff Andrea for giving me ideas and reading through the slop I write!

The next chapter is hopefully going to add a little more to the story and make it not so cliché haha. I'll warn you this is an entirely Bella chapter. I'm introducing a few new characters but there is a lack of Edward as well as the rest of the gang in this ons. It had to be done though. The next chapter, this wont be the case so bear with me.

Also, just gonna throw this out there, the GQ with Rob on the cover… MMM MMM MMM! That is all:)

It was dark and cold in the living room. I was shivering fiercely on the floor clinging to my thin little blanket for dear life. I rolled over and noticed another body next to me curled up in a blanket of his own, snoring quietly. I scooted closer to him and pressed my face in between his shoulder blades trying to wiggle my legs underneath his blanket and keep warm. As soon as I did he wrapped himself tighter into his blanket and rolled away from me, snatching his pillow and grumbling beneath his breath.

"I'm cold," I whispered hesitantly, "can I sleep closer to you? Please?"

No answer. I could tell from the set of his shoulders and the stiffness of his form that he was sleeping with his back to me for a good reason. I didn't do anything wrong that I could remember and I was so cold, so I tried again. This time I reached out a shaky hand and placed it on one of his stiff shoulders trying my hardest to be as gentle as possible.

That's when he jerked his body away from me sitting up abruptly and shooting me a venomous glare. Even in the dark I could tell it.

"Get. Away. From. Me. " every word was laced with disgust and I scooted backwards against the wall.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I was cold and-"

"Shut up!" he practically screamed, sending angry spatters of spit across my face.

I stood up then, my knees crashing into one another like a buoy in an angry sea both from the fear and the cold that wracked my body. I could see my breath through the dark and had come to the conclusion that the gas tank for our heater must have run dry.

He stood a stride away from me breathing heavily, his head hanging low and his hair hanging his face like a dark, torn curtain. He had his blanket draped across his shoulders, the left side hanging close to his knee and the other just barely covering his bicep and the corner coming to rest in the pit of his elbow. The muscular planes of his chest were evident in the little bit of moonlight seeping in through the living room window and I watched as they heaved with his unsteady breaths.

I stepped forward to try to calm him down or at least let him know that I was sorry, for whatever it was that I should be sorry for. I bit my quivering bottom lip to keep from crying as I reached my arm out for his waist but he snarled and brought the back of his hand sharply across my face.

The tears were flowing freely now, my hand covering the throbbing red hand print marking my right cheek and my mouth hanging open in shock as I stumbled backwards dropping my blanket to the carpet. The hand he had struck me with just seconds before flew to his forehead roughly shoving the rest of his long dark locks back and away from his eyes leaving just a few stray strands stuck to his forehead and trickling over his left cheekbone.

Trembling with rage he leaned towards me so that his angry, terrifying face was now inches from my own. He started screaming at me, tossing his arms out with frustrated animation. My heart was pounding in my chest and in my panic I could do nothing but try to push myself further into the unforgiving wall of the trailer and stare frantic and confused at his lips as they spit silent violent words at me. I could see that he was talking, well screaming, but I couldn't hear what it was that he was saying. All I could hear was the high pitched irritating 'Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep!' of… my alarm clock?

My eyes fluttered open to the pale light of dawn sneaking in through the window like the thief that it was, stealing away my slumber. It was early, but all I could feel now was relief. Relief that it was just a dream. No. A nightmare.

My heart was still racing as if it were trying to out run the images in my head. I lay staring blankly at the ceiling trying to recover from my restless sleep. I rolled onto my side curling my legs into my chest and wrapping my arms around my shins. I exhaled sharply and turned my face into my pillow choking out a sob and letting the tears cascade down my face and onto my pillow case. Luckily, both Rose and Alice were already up and most likely out of the apartment so I wasn't at risk of any more interrogation. I sobbed and shook and cursed the places my mind wandered when I was sleeping and once my body regained its composure I uncurled from my little ball and angrily pushed myself to my feet. This was getting ridiculous.

I stumbled into the bathroom gripping the edge of the counter and leaning my weight forward staring at my disheveled reflection in the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess and my pajamas were twisted across my body as if I'd been tossing and turning again. Wiping the tears and sleep from my eyes, I sighed hoping and praying that I hadn't been sleep talking and woken anyone up, especially Alice.

With slow motivation, I got into the shower and after I'd finished cleaning myself, I allowed the water to beat against my face and over my head until it ran cold. Reluctantly, but more relaxed, I got out and threw on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. My work clothes were already in my bag and ready to go for tomorrow, so I grabbed a quick bowl of cereal and headed out to greet whomever and whatever lay ahead. The unreal events of last night would not put a damper on my day today.

This would be the day I would be meeting my co-workers at Starbucks for the first time. I was a little nervous, but I needed to make some money while I was not touring or doing anything musically so that I could actually afford to pay my third of the rent. A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.

I was standing outside waiting for the bus when my phone rang. I jumped at the sound and then laughed at myself shaking my head at myself. I'd been here for three days now and my phone hadn't rung even once. I had almost forgotten what it sounded like. I fished through my bag, pushing past all the crap I needed to clean out of it to try to find my phone. I caught it just before it went to voicemail.

"Hey mom!"

"Bells! Baby! How are you? How's Chicago? I'm so sorry I didn't call I've been so busy helping Phil get ready for the season and going to his practices. Now that the weather is decent he can practice a lot more and games will be starting up soon, you know? Oh geez, Bella I'm such a terrible mother!"

I laughed at how fast the words spilled from my mother's mouth. She was as bad as Alice sometimes.

"I'm great, Mom. Really. Calm down. And don't worry about not calling, I've been pretty busy too."

She took a deep breath then and I could almost feel her relief passing through the telephone. The questions slowed and we eased into a nice, normal conversation. I told her all about the move and meeting the boys downstairs. I asked her how she and Phil were doing. She asked how my heart was doing. I left out the details about the nightmares that had seemed to creep back up on me lately, I didn't want her to worry.

"Hey, I don't know if you heard or not but, Jacob doesn't live in town anymore."

The blood rushed to my head and my heart started to beat into my throat at the mention of his name. It took all the effort I could muster to unclench my jaws so I could reply.

"That's nice." Why would she think that I would care what he was up to? I didn't want to know a single damn thing about Jacob.

"Yeah. Threat neutralized." she giggled a little.

She was right. It would make things easier when I went home to visit if I didn't have to worry about the risk of running into him. That was the last thing that I needed.

"Yeah, I guess he moved down south. Completely left the state. He actually got a job offer down there somewhere with Quil and Seth."

I swallowed hard. "Good for him. It's about time he did something productive." I snorted.

"Yeah," she cleared her throat then seeming slightly uncomfortable. "I miss you already, baby." I realized then that she was telling me this because she missed me and she knew I wouldn't be too hasty in coming home to visit because of the fact that I didn't want to see Jacob, even if it were just in passing.

"I miss you too, Mom. I'll come home to visit soon though, don't worry." I tried my best to comfort her. She let out a small sigh and I felt the mood of our conversation lift.

"So, today's the big day, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm on my way now actually." I said with a bit of reluctance in my tone.

"It's gonna be great honey, I just know it. You're such a great girl I'm sure the people you work with will just love you."

"Thank Mom. But hey, I have to go the bus is here. I'll call you later?"

"Sure baby doll. Good luck!"

"Love you, Mom. Bye"

"Bye Bells."

The bus ride didn't take too long. I felt better being able to talk to my mom before walking into a new place and having to work with complete strangers. I'd shaken the thoughts of Jacob from my head and started focusing on the task at hand.

I walked into the store and despite my nerves, marched confidently over to the counter. The girl at the counter was staring down into what seemed to be a new promotional book. It was red and brown and covered in floral patterns. The inside page, or what I could see of it, had a list of coffees and a picture of what the merchandise layout should follow. It didn't really seem to me like the girl really cared about the pages, she was probably just trying to make herself look busy doing as little as possible.

She was about my height only with long blonde hair and more of an athletic build. The color of her skin screamed 'fake and bake!'. She was twirling a lock of her hair around her finger and chomping loudly on a piece of bubble gum and as I approached the counter she looked up at me with her big blue eyes and make up caked face grinning from ear to ear. I took a deep breath willing away the nerves stewing in the pit of my stomach and offered her the most sincere smile I could muster.

"Hi! Can I help you?"

"Hi. Yeah, I'm Bella. I'm supposed to start work here tomorrow?" I said clearing my throat nervously.

"Oh, Bella! It's so good to finally meet you! We've been expecting you! I'm Jessica!" the cake-up faced girl extended her hand to me then, and as I shook it I did my best not to grimace at the fact that it felt like I was squeezing a handful of wet noodles. I took my hand back and shoved it into my pocket.

"Well, the boss is on lunch right now. Have you worked at a Starbucks before or are you going to need to go through training?" she tilted her head to the side and I could almost hear her brain rattling around.

"I worked at a store back home. I just transferred down here so I'm good on training."

"Perfect! I mean, if you had to be trained I'd totally be more than willing to show you what to do, but it's way better when people already know what they're doing, you know?"

I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips nodding my understanding and scanning the rest of the store to see if I could point out the manager.

"So, what's the boss' name?" I asked still searching.

"Lauren. She's pretty cool, but don't get on her bad side. She can be a little catty, if you know what I mean."

"Sure, sure. Thanks." I wonder if she means catty like Rosalie catty or if she really meant to say, 'this woman is a total bitch'.

"Jessica! Guess who decided to leave you hanging today?" I couldn't see who this voice belonged to, but I could only assume from the venom in her tone and the way that Jessica's shoulders stiffened, this was Lauren. I usually don't like to judge people, I give every one a chance, but something about the way she addressed Jessica made me uncomfortable.

It was then that the ultra tan, blue eyed, tall brunette emerged from the back room. Her hips were swaying back and forth and there was a fire in her eyes that could put Hell to shame. She opened her mouth to say more when she noticed me standing in front of Jessica. She snapped her mouth shut and brought her right hand to her hip leaning all of her weight on the on her right leg.

"Oh. Hello. I apologize, Jess take care of this customer and we'll talk." she spun on her heel and headed for the back room again.

"Actually." I called after her. She stopped and spun back around to look at me with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

"This is Bella, Lauren. The new Barista." Jess offered smiling at me apologetically for the rude first impression. I decided as much of an air head as Jessica came off to be, I already liked her a hundred times more than this Lauren chick. God, working beneath her could be a nightmare.

"Oh, so you're the new girl." Lauren's face transformed from irritation to extremely fake excitement in .2 seconds. I nodded and took the hand that Lauren offered to me. She didn't let go of my hand for an awkward few seconds as she took the time to look me up and down scrutinizing everything about me. I jerked my hand away looking at my feet and thinking about the fact that for working in food service, she had extremely soft hands. Obviously she doesn't do much with clean up or getting her hands dirty. Great.

"I'm Lauren, the _manager _here." She said the word like I should get down on my hands and knees and gravel at her feet. "It's good to finally have you with us! How have you been settling in?" she asked with obvious disinterest.

"Just fine, thank you."

"Well, I know that you know what you're doing. At least, you should by now. You've worked for this company long enough." she laughed then; a nasally and obnoxious fake laugh. What is with this girl? "I know that you're not scheduled to come in until tomorrow, but one of your fellow baristas, Mike" She said his name like a disease "has decided to call off and leave us short staffed for the day. Would you want to work the mid-shift? It's noon to seven."

I saw Jessica from the corner of my eye as her shoulders slumped and her face turned into a pout. I couldn't tell if she was upset she had to work with me or if she was disappointed that she wouldn't be working with Mike. _Hmmm. Co-worker romance. Wonderful_. I thought to myself.

"Oh, sure! I don't really have anything else planned today. I was just going to go back to my apartment and hang out."

Lauren glanced down at her watch then and nodded.

"Great! Your shift will be starting in twenty minutes. Until then, let me give you a tour of the back room and I'll let Jess show you what's what up front."

This store was set up a lot different than the store I'd worked at back home but I didn't think that I'd have much trouble adjusting. Same job, different town. I was relieved to find that I didn't have to close with Lauren, in fact she showed me around in a haste, and then took off for her office area in the back to do some paper work or so she claimed. Granted, as I walked out of her office I could hear her yapping on her cell phone to whom I assumed was her boyfriend or maybe some random guy she was just sleeping with. What did I know? But she informed me she would be leaving after she was done and I probably wouldn't see her before she left. Lauren wasn't mean about it, I just didn't like the taste her arrogance and attitude left in my mouth.

I headed back to the front knowing already that Jessica likes to talk and hoping that it would make the time pass quickly. It would be good to work the day away rather than sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting for my friends to get off work. Rose had mentioned she'd be home from the shop around four thirty, Alice closer to five, and the boys would all be home by around six. I'd be the last one back to the apartment but I also don't spend forever getting ready to hang out after I get home from work. I change into some jeans and a t-shirt, wash my face and I'm ready to go.

I also wasn't Rosalie who came home covered in motor oil and dirt. Rose was our little tomboy. She worked in a car shop selling parts, helping soup up cars, and doing repairs. Sometimes, I really envied her for the fact that she was stunning as a super model but could hang with the guys and talk about cars and racing and actually know her stuff. Then again, Rose couldn't play drums and music is my life so I'm thankful to be who I am. Ya can't win 'em all!

Alice worked at Sephora as a make-up consultant while she went to school. She had her summers off so right now all she was doing was working. She'd been telling me since she got the job that one day she'd find a way to get me in there so she could do a consultation with me and do my make up. I laughed in her face.

I found out that Emmett had been on a football scholarship at the University of Illinois and torn his ACL. He was never intending to pursue a career in football outside of College, so he decided to end his career there transferring to Columbia with Edward and Jasper when they moved to Chicago. He worked at a nightclub downtown as a bouncer on weekends and at a diner as a cook during the week. Edward and Jasper were taking summer classes at Columbia. Edward was involved in some paid student teaching having mostly to do with music (this man just keeps getting yummier) while majoring in psychology. Jasper was working part time at Jimmy Johns when he wasn't out serving every month with the Coast Guard Reserve.

Then there's me, the starving artist of the group per say. I play drums in a band and work at Starbucks to pay the bills that my music isn't paying just yet. I sound almost as tomboyish as Rosalie, in fact I may have her beat. She actually wears dresses and make up.

"Looks like its me and you for the rest of the afternoon." Jessica's smile didn't reach her eyes.

"This Mike kid, does he have a history of calling off quite a bit or something?" I wasn't really digging for dirt, I just wanted to know what I was walking into.

"Not really, just more so since… well, lately. I don't know what his problem is." her answer was hesitant and half hearted. "I mean, it's not like I care. I just don't like picking up his slack." she scowled examining her nails and shaking her head. "Maybe he'll decide to show up for his shift next time and you'll get to meet him. He's a really sweet guy, just not the most considerate male on the planet right now." she rolled her eyes shifting from foot to foot.

"When are they ever?" I laughed a little trying to lighten her mood. She smiled then and this time it reached her eyes.

"I know, right? Men. You can't live with them, but you don't really want to live without them. I'm not a ladies lady if you know what I mean." she laughed chomping loudly once again on her bubble gum.

"I can see that." I laughed too.

"So how are you liking Chicago so far?"

"It's great, I mean, I just got here over the weekend so it's definitely been crazy trying to get used to how busy it is and all the people. But I have my two best friends from back home here with me and we met some really great people over the weekend, so it hasn't been horrible." I smiled as a customer walked in.

We chatted on and off about random things in between customers throughout our shift together. Working with Jess did prove to be a fine experience and the way she kept up conversation really helped time to move along quickly. I was thankful for that.

Before I knew it, our shift was over and the next people coming in walked through the door.

"Hey! Angela! Ben! This is our newest Barista, Bella." Jessica called skipping over to the freckle faced dark haired girl Angela, and Ben the semi-geeky, slightly scrawny kid with the black framed glasses standing next to her. The two of them smiled warmly and welcomed me to the team. They seemed really nice and it took the edge off of my encounter with Lauren earlier. So far she was the only person who rubbed me the wrong way here and frankly, one out of four isn't so bad.

Jessica and I walked to the bus stop together chatting about random things. Actually, she chatted and I listened mostly, but I didn't really mind. That is, until she decided it was time to play twenty questions.

"Well, enough about me. What about you? You're from Michigan, right? What brought you here?" she asked curiously.

"My two best friends, Rosalie and Alice, they moved here about a year ago and I had some things to… finish up… back home. I got everything taken care of and I moved here last weekend." I said being as vague as I could but still satisfying her thirst for knowledge about Bella Swan.

"Oh. What did you need to get taken care of back home?"

"Well, my mom re-married last summer and I wanted to be there for the wedding."

"That was last summer though, couldn't you have moved right after the wedding?"

_You're not gonna let this go, are you? _I thought to myself begging the tightening in my chest to release my lungs and allow me to breathe like a normal human being.

"I just couldn't afford it at the time." I said letting my breath out in a whoosh. _Good save, Bella._

She gave me a bit of an odd look but that seemed to satisfy her on that matter.

"So have you met anyone since you moved here?"

"Yeah actually, our neighbors down stairs are the people I mentioned I had met earlier. And now you." I smiled at her then and she returned the gesture. It seemed to put a little more of a skip in her step and I hoped that she'd be okay working with me over Mike when the situation arose. I'd do what I could to keep the mopey co-workers away. While Jess may be a little too uppity for me when she was in a good mood, I could tell I preferred her that way over the latter. I noticed that her smile had turned slightly coy and I held my breath for the next question.

"So, your "neighbors…" _Oh God, here we go_.

"Are they cute?" she giggled then looking at me eagerly for a juicy response.

"Uhm…well…" how the Hell do I answer this one? "they're really sweet guys."

"Oh come on , Bella!" she said each word with staccato. "that's it? 'they're really sweet guys'? Even ugly guys can be really sweet. I mean, what do they look like?"

I started to get uncomfortable then.

"I don't know Jess. They're not ugly. I don't really look at them like that. They're more like… brothers. You know?" I looked down at my shoes then chewing on the inside of my lip. Jessica tapped her foot at me impatiently, a very Alice thing to do, and it made me chuckle. She, however, took that as an 'I'm totally holding out on you and these guys are super hot' and began dancing around me like a Chihuahua on a sugar high.

"Oh man, they're totally hotties! What are their names? How many of them are there? How old are they? Do they work close?"

"Woah, slow down killer!" I put my hands up defensively and her hops and skips lost some of their momentum

She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout and I decided then that I'd rather ramble about the neighbors then to put up with any more drilling on my home life, so I complied.

"Alright fine." I huffed and Jessica's face lit up. "Well, two of the guys, Emmett and Edward are brothers and their cousin Jasper is the third member of their little trio. I smiled at the thought of them.

"Emmett, he's 23, he's the oldest. He's your typical teddy bear I guess. Pretty big guy, used to be a college foot ball player-"

"Ooooh, so he's a jock, hmm? You know what they say about big guys, they've got really big-"

"Gross! Stop! None of that!" I slapped my hands over my ears and slammed my eyes shut humming to myself. The last thing I wanted to think about was Emmett's big, well, anything. Jessica began laughing hysterically.

"Anyways, then there's Jasper, he's 21. He's in the Coast Guard Reserve, he's tall and muscular but definitely not as stocky as Emmett. He's got blue eyes and dirty blonde hair."

"Mmm, I love a man in uniform! So hot! Bells, you gotta let me meet these boys." She giggled and I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes.

"So, who's the third hunk you're living above? I'm sure you saved the best for last!" she squealed clapping her hands together.

I started to speak but couldn't form the words. I felt suddenly… protective? I didn't want Jess to know a single thing about Edward. Not his name, not what he looked like, what he did and I certainly didn't want her to meet him. What the Hell, Bells? You act like he's anything beyond a friend to you, get a grip on yourself.

Jess was now waiting expectantly, staring at me like I'd gone crazy and waving her hand in front of my face.

"Helloooo Bella. Earth to Bellaaaaa! You have major questions to answer here!" she said in a sing song tone.

I realized I'd zoned out and released the breath I'd been holding, shaking myself from my thoughts.

"Oh uhm…sorry. Yeah Edward. He's 22. He's student teaches and goes to Columbia for psychology. He's got messy bronze hair and green eyes-"

"Oh. My. God. A musician with sex hair _and_ green eyes? Wait. Columbia? Bella. Please tell me you aren't talking about Edward _Cullen_!"she squealed.

Shit. She knows him.

"Yeah, you know him?"

"Know him? The guy is go-o-rgeous! Oh my God! The entire time I was at Columbia last semester I wanted to bang the guy!" She gigged then nudging me in the side and licking her lips seductively.

I made a disgusted face and suddenly had the urge to slap this girl in the face.

"But apparently nobody around here is good enough for him." she sneered. I smiled to myself. He was a psychology major, meaning he was probably pretty good at reading people. I'm sure there was somebody good enough for him, but Jess and her hormones were not it.

"Not like I care. But I mean, Gawwwwd! The things I would do to that man-"

I snapped then. "Don't talk about him like that Jess, geez! He's not a piece of meat." She looked a little stunned. "besides, he's got a girlfriend." I lied. I just lied to this girl. What was wrong with me? I bit my lip then looking at her deflated expression. I was expecting her to call me out considering I'm an awful liar. But to my surprise and frustration she came back with something even better.

"Oh. Well, he's not married though, right?" she shrugged her shoulders and brightened back up.

I stared at her in shock, my mouth hanging open. I looked past her then down the street praying the bus would be close, but to no avail. I turned abruptly and hailed down the first taxi I saw.

"I'm sorry I gotta go." I said hurriedly, "I'll see you later, Jess."

"Did I say something to upset you?" she said scurrying behind me as I reached for the taxi door. "Bella wait! I've got more questions for you! Please don't go." I took a deep breath and turned to look at her before crawling into the back seat of the taxi.

"No, I just need to get home. It's almost time for dinner and I don't want to keep everyone back home waiting. A cab is just quicker." she caught my bluff then.

"Oh. My. God. Bella! You totally have a crush on" and at the same time that I tried to cut her off she finished her sentence.

"No!"

"EMMETT!"

"Wait… EMMETT?!" I shook my head. She thought I wanted to date Emmett? I was suddenly doubled over from laughter and falling into the back seat of the taxi. This girl really was brainless. Jess was standing there staring at me like I'd gone crazy. Heck, maybe I had!

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jess." and with that I shut the door and gave the cabbie my address, leaving a confused looking Jessica disappearing on the sidewalk behind me.

3


	7. Chapter 7: New Blood

Hello again! I apologize for the wait on this chapter, but I assure you I have good reason. First, I've been working. A lot. And That has restricted the time I've had to sit and write. But secondly, I was up late one night and inspired to write. When I sat down on my bed to do so, the stuff that came out was really really intense. I sent the four pages I ended up writing down to two of my best friends, and now betas, and got a way more pleasing response than I expected. So I have been just running with that idea. It's waaaay angsty and serious and once I get things lined up as far as a time line goes I'm planning to post it here. I'll let you all know asap.

Anyways, enough rambling. Thanks to Miss Andrea Blake for being my proof reading Alpha;) and thanks to you for reading this slop that I write haha.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The week went by fairly easily and rather uneventful. Work had been pretty tolerable and I'd guessed right at the slightly awkward romance between Mike and Jessica, well if you could even consider it romance. Basically, Jess was completely boy crazy, but obviously head over heels for Mike, and Mike was too oblivious to notice.

Back home, the girls and I have done well at keeping up the tradition of "family dinners" with the boys every night, save last night simply because Rose and myself ended up working late and Jasper came down with a pretty gnarly case of the twenty four hour flu. When I got home from work that night I found that there was only one girl in our apartment and I smiled knowingly at Rose as she curled up on the couch with a bowl of cereal.

"Do I even have to ask where Alice is?" I smirked.

"She's got it bad." Rose shook her head taking a bite of her Blueberry Morning.

I laughed and plopped down beside Rose on the couch reaching into her bowl for one of the tiny blueberries that I loved so much. Before I could snag one though Rose smacked the back of my hand and I drew it back promptly rubbing my hand and feigning insult.

"Ow, Rose! Gosh! Didn't your mother ever teach you how to share?" I tried, and failed at keeping a straight face as Rosalie's eyebrow cocked and she stopped her spoon mid-mouth to stare at me in disbelief.

"You're as bad as Emmett!" she laughed once and shoveled another bite into her mouth. I got up and walked over to the cereal cabinet bringing the whole box with me into the living room and sitting back down next to Rosalie.

"How's Jasper feeling? Any better than this morning?" I asked through a mouthful of dry cereal.

"Well, Alice said she was going to stay up there with him until he fell asleep. She said he quit puking his guts out and his fever went down so that's good. I think Alice just wants and excuse to get in bed with him." She said pinching her lips into a tight smirk. I giggled and nodded my head.

"Yeah, I think I could totally see that."

Rose and I both knew how Alice was. Once she wanted something, she tried as hard as she could to get it as fast as she could. What she wanted, she wanted now. It had only been a week since the boys became a part of our lives, but it was no secret to us that Alice was all about Jasper Hale.

"So, speaking of 'she's got it bad'" I said, a smile creeping up on my lips as Rose rolled her eyes and shoved my shoulder making me topple sideways and spill cereal in my lap.

"Oh, now look what you did!" I teased picking the cereal off of my pants and munching on it, while still staring at Rose awaiting her reply. When she pretended to be staring at the television and shoved another bite into her mouth to keep from talking, I continued teasing.

"Don't act like Alice is the only one all googley eyed over some boy down stairs." I jumped up then, avoiding anymore physical abuse from Rose and took Alice's usual spot in the recliner.

"Oh I'm not acting like _she's_ the only one." She turned her mischievous glare on me then and I promtly inserted my foot into my mouth. I can't say I didn't walk right into that one. I looked into my lap as the heat started to climb to my cheeks. She set her bowl down then, tossing her hand dramatically across her forehead and collapsing back across the couch cushions.

"Oh, dreamy boy Edward! I can't stop being a total creeper every time you're around and watching your every move." she said in a dramatic, 1950's movie star tone.

"Shut it, Rosalie!" I knew my cheeks were definitely giving Elmo a run for his money in the red department, and I also knew that Rose wasn't done with her fun just yet.

"You're so dreamy I can't make my words come out how they're supposed to whenever I'm around you!" I shucked a handful of cereal at her then and she shook it from her hair returning her voice to normal.

"Don't act like you don't totally want his bod, Bella!" she laughed getting up from the couch and taking her cereal bowl into the kitchen with her.

"I'll admit, he's definitely a sight for sore eyes. But you and I both know that I'm not- that I can't-well…"

Rose came out from the kitchen then and surprised me by walking over to wrap her arms around me.

"Bells, I know you've been through a lot. But you're not damaged goods, okay?" Her eyes were serious as she held my gaze. "Maybe your heart is damaged and your pride is hurt, but you're an amazing girl. Don't sell yourself short or not take a chance at something you desire because you're afraid of getting hurt again or not being good enough. Okay?"

I didn't know what to say, Rose wasn't usually the most affectionate person normally, in her own ways yes, but not like this. I started to get teary eyed at the realization that she really meant the things she was saying, and she was right. I swallowed the small lump in my throat and nodded.

"Thanks Rose. I love you." I sniffed slightly smiling up at one of the best friends I had in the world.

The door to the apartment flew open then and Emmett came bounding inside with all of his mammoth glory. Spotting our little 'moment' he "awwwwwwed!" and then grabbed both Rose and I into a giant bear hug.

"Em! Can't breathe!" I coughed as his huge bicep pinched the air off from my lungs.

"Oh! My bad!" he released me then and I rubbed the side of my neck, knowing it was red from his brute strength.

"Good Lord, Jerk-ules!" I laughed stumbling back from his iron grasp. "You're much bigger than I am, remember?"

"Sorry Bells." he apologized "I forget sometimes. Probably because your attitude is much bigger than mine."

I slapped him on the arm and the three of us burst out laughing.

Rose went downstairs with Emmett to check up on Jasper and drag Alice back upstairs for the night as I went into the bathroom and changed into my pajamas. I threw my hair up in a messy bun on the top of my head so I could wash my face, remembering then that I had just bought new face wash and had left it in a plastic bag on the kitchen table. Emerging from the bathroom in my tank top and flannel pajama bottoms, I squealed as I walked out of the bedroom and ran smack dab into Edward.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean so startle you." he seemed a little embarrassed as I looked down and realized his hands were gripping both of my elbows steadying me. I looked into his apologetic green eyes and my heart started its rapid-fire drumming in my chest. As he slowly let go of my arms, blushing slightly, I remembered how I was dressed and how my hair was just thrown atop my head. I immediately wished I could crawl back into the confines of my bedroom and throw a blanket over my face so he wouldn't see how disgusting and embarrassed I was.

"I was just wondering if you maybe wanted some company. Rose and Emmett are hanging out in Jasper's room with Alice and I knew you were up here alone so I figured I'd try to include you. Not that this is some awkward sympathy visit." I stifled a laugh. "I-I'm sorry if I interrupted you getting ready for bed. I should have knocked. I'm sorry." he was fumbling over his words and looking anywhere but at me and I realized then that I had been entranced by his velvety voice and not responded to a thing that he'd said. _Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid_! I cursed myself mentally.

"No! No, you're not interrupting a thing I was just washing up is all. I didn't get a chance to clean up after work yet. You're fine." He seemed a little more relaxed then as he smiled at me finally looking me in the face.

"I brought the newest season of The Office." he grinned sheepishly and I immediately started jumping up and down with excitement.

"Perfect! Just uhm… give me like two minutes? I just want to wash the grime off of my face and I'll be ready to go." he started at me a beat too long before nodding his head and then turning to plop down on the couch. I smiled to myself as I dashed into the bathroom to make myself a little more presentable.

I hurried scrubbing the stickiness from my face and ran a brush through my hair quick before putting it back up into a slightly sexier messy pony tail. I straightened and smoothed down the pajamas I had on, took a deep breath, and walked out into the living room. Edward's eyes widened a bit, or so I thought, when I came into view. He smiled at me and patted the couch next to him as he stuck his hand into a bowl of freshly popped pop corn. I returned the smile and sat down next to him digging into the pop corn bowl and turning my attention to the television.

We sat and munched just enjoying one another's company for the first episode but once the pop corn was gone and we didn't have anything else to keep our mouths occupied with, we started talking.

"Any big plans for the weekend?" I snapped my head in his direction and got lost in those brilliant green eyes. He tilted his head slightly waiting for my answer and I mentally kicked myself for not speaking up right away. I cleared my throat feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Uh, yeah. Kind of. I'm actually meeting up with my band mates Saturday for the first time since I've moved."

"Band mates? You never told me you were in a band!" Edward's face became both astonished and excited. I looked down into my lap. I'd forgotten that I never really mentioned my music as a reason why I had moved to Chicago. I was more interested in what I could find out about everyone else. I didn't like to be the center of attention, hence being a drummer where I can play in the back behind everyone else, nor did I necessarily enjoy talking about myself so I guess it just never came up.

I looked up at Edward's face and noticed his agonizingly gorgeous smile growing wider and wider. I bit down on my bottom lip as my signature blush started to paint my cheeks tickle-me-pink. I wondered if there was another human on this earth who blushed as easily as I did. It was absolutely frustrating.

"Yeah, I drum for a band here in the city. It's actually one of the reasons I moved here, other than to be closer to Alice and Rose, that is."

"You're a drummer." he said it as a statement, nodding his head and flashing that adorable crooked grin at me. "that's so awesome, Bella." my heart fluttered at the sound of my name on his lips. " I wouldn't have guessed you as a drummer, but now that you mention it, you do look like you could beat the hell out of a drum kit." He reached over and squeezed my bicep causing me to giggle as I jokingly flexing my sorry excuse for muscles. His eyes widened in mock horror making me laugh even harder. He put his hands up, shielding his face and my body felt the loss of his delicate hands. I wished I could reach over and tangle our fingers together while we talked.

_Seriously Bella…_

Edward winked then, joining in with my laughter and set his hands in his lap.

"I'm a musician myself." he ran his hand through his messy locks.

"I remember you were holding onto a guitar the night I met you." Edward looked a little surprised and I felt like a creeper remembering little details like that. I tried to get the attention away from my awkward statement by asking the first question that came to mind.

"So, uhm, do you sing as well?" I turned so my body was facing him and curled my legs up onto the couch. I wanted to know everything I could about this dazzling creature before me. My heart, I knew, was in no place to pursue love or anything like it, but I was completely enthralled with Edward simply as a person. I felt like I could talk to him for hours and never get bored listening to his velvety voice and staring into those deep green eyes. He was so complex and interesting and yet, mysterious in ways that made me want to ask question after question to try to figure him out.

I realized that I'd been staring again and that Edward was starting to blush some himself.

"I do sing, a bit anyways. I'm not that great at it, but it's fun. Jasper has a much better singing voice than myself. It's incredibly soulful. Very jazzy blues-esque you could say."

"I'd like to hear you sometime." his eyes became slightly nervous as soon as the words escaped my mouth. "if that's okay, I mean."

He turned his face to mine and smiled, causing the breath to hitch in my throat again. I really needed to get this under control. I didn't want my body freaking out on me every time I tried to have a normal conversation with a man who, though completely gorgeous and seemingly every thing a woman could ever want in a man, was nothing more than a friend to me.

"Only if you allow me the pleasure of seeing you play your drums." my eyes widened in terror. "I-I don't know. I mean-"

"Oh, I'm sure you're not THAT bad!" he laughed at my expression. "you obviously moved here to do something with your music other than keep it to yourself in some dingy practice spot, right?" I nodded, not sure where he was going with this.

"so that must mean that you guys will eventually be playing shows… yes?"

Oh. Yeah. That.

"Yeah, we will."

"Then I'll just come to one of your shows in the city." he said cheerfully.

I love being on stage, and once I'm up there nothing else matters. I'm not nervous or shy or timid, I'm alive and excited and I just let go. It's my favorite place to be. But being hyper aware of Edward whenever he was in the same room with me could prove to be a dangerous thing for me when I'm attempting to focus on playing my music. I wouldn't say it now, but once the time came I might need to ask him to stand in the back of the room or go incognito so I didn't have to see him watching me play.

I nodded my head and put on a brave face. "That might work."

It was getting late and I attempted to stifle the yawn that escaped my mouth just before my hand made it up to catch it. Edward's low, sexy chuckle just about knocked me from my seat on the couch. It was the best sound in the world.

"Someone's sleepy." he smiled, standing up and offering his hand.

I accepted, disappointed that I had to be up so early and because of that was being forced to leave the couch and my conversation with Edward. I had a long day tomorrow, I would need my sleep but I'd much rather sit and talk with him all night.

"Thanks for coming over tonight, I'm glad we got to hang out and talk." I said as I tugged nervously at the corner of my tank top trying to keep it from sliding up over my hip bones.

"It was my pleasure. Thank you for having me." His voice was becoming thick and deep from the tiredness that seemed to be taking over him as well. We stood, staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever not really knowing what to say next. The door crept open slowly then, as Alice and Rose came tip toeing into the room.

"I finally got her away from Jay." Rosalie laughed. "he's been out for a good hour but she just _had _to make sure he was going to be comfortable through the night and wouldn't need anything. I almost didn't get her out of his bedroom."

Alice's face was pinched into an embarrassed, but adorably fond smile. "Oh don't pretend you were upset at having to wait for me. You were elated to be spending time with Emmett and you know it." she giggled and Rose rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to sleep now ladies; Edward." I caught the gleam in her eye and the emphasis she used on his name, immediately moving my gaze from her face to the floor.

"Sleep well, Rosalie." Edward said politely. "and you as well, Alice." he smiled, nodding sweetly at Alice before turning to me.

"Bella." the huskiness of his voice saying my name and the sleepy crooked grin that lit up his face nearly knocked me off my feet. _Say it again. Please. _I silently begged as he turned for the door.

"Good luck tomorrow with your band stuff. I'll be waiting to hear you play." he winked over his shoulder and I shook my head with a sigh.

"Good night, Edward." I walked over and locked the door behind him, unable to keep the smile from creeping up on my face. I turned to Alice who was watching me excitedly bouncing up and down from her spot by the kitchen.

"Don't say a word, pixie!" I warned as she burst into laughter and we headed to the bedroom to get some sleep.

Oooooooooooooooooooooo

Rosalie dropped me off on Wilson in Uptown to go to band practice the next day. It was a bit overcast and supposed to rain so she was nice and gave me a ride rather than letting me stand and wait for public transpo. Personally, I think she just likes any excuse to drive around in Alice's Porsche. But I was thankful none-the-less.

As I walked up to the glass double doors and pulled my phone out of my pocket to let the guys know I had arrived, the sounds of Anberlin filled the air and I chuckled to myself as I answered.

"Hey uptown girl, can you hear that downtown song?" Seth sang out on the other end before I could say hello.

"I don't even live in Uptown goofball. I'm glad to know you remember your ring tone though. And you should probably let me in, I'm standing outside, ya know!" Seth laughed heartily and I could hear his voice echoing off of the walls like he was standing in a big open room as he spoke.

"So, we've been working with this new guy on vocals. He seems like an alright dude and his vocals are really awesome. Very rugged. The rest of us have talked and we want to let him in, we just wanted to wait til you finally got here and gave your opinion before we talked to him about it."

A new guy. Hmm. I spun around to face the street pacing slightly as I took in his words. I missed Sam. He was really the glue that held our band together and when he met the love of his life, Emily, he became completely devoted to her and left the band so they could be married. We were all super happy for him, but he would be hard to replace so this new guy better be something special.

"Cool, we'll see how today goes then I suppose. I trust your judgment though for sure." I said pulling the hood of my sweat shirt up as it started to drizzle. "where are you by the way? You sound extra echo-ie on that end."

"I'm actually in the hallway juuuust about at the door as we speak." I turned back around to face the door and was practically tackled to the ground by both Seth and Eric.

"Welcome to the city, sister friend!" Eric whooped as I shoved the both of them back and smiled at my band mates. It felt good just being with them again, it'd been a while since I'd made it out this way since I was busy with moving and stuff.

The three of us marched up to the third floor of the Wilson building laughing and talking and goofing around. These guys were practically my brothers. I loved them to death.

We entered the practice space and I took a moment to just inhale. The smell of warm wire and saw dust. Sweaty boys and musty library books. Home. It brought a giddy smile to my face and seeing 'my baby' sitting in the corner just begging for me to beat the crap out of him, I was ready to jump out of my skin with eagerness.

I ran over and sat down on my throne, throwing my foot against the kick pedal a few times and picking up my drum sticks twirling one around my fingers.

"So, where's this new guy?" I asked adjusting my high hat stand and snatching the drum key from my belt loop so I could tune my heads. Seth slung his bass over his head and adjusted the strap comfortably around his shoulder.

Before anyone could answer, a slightly tall muscular looking guy emerged from the bathroom. His long dirty blond hair was pulled back against his head in a pony tail. He wore an old leather jacket and a friendly smile, but there was something in his fierce blue eyes that sent chills up and down my spine. I swallowed hard once trying to shake the discomfort I felt, mentally chastising myself for being judgmental when I hadn't even spoken to this guy yet. I offered what I hoped was a sincere looking smile in return.

"Hi, I'm Bella." I offered when he didn't say anything but simply stared at me with his head slightly tilted to the side almost as if he were sizing me up. I sat up a little straighter on my throne. Did this guy think he could out drum me or something? Just because I was a girl didn't mean that I couldn't hold my own. I felt a little offended.

He stepped forward then and offered his hand. His hands were rough and covered with grease stains, with dirt caked beneath the nails of every finger. He held my hand a beat too long nodding his head as he did so.

"Nice to meet you, Bella." I didn't like the way he said my name. At all. "I'm James."


	8. Chapter 8: Secrets Don't Make Friends

Well, guess who decided to pull herself out of the wood work and update?! If none of you read this, I understand haha. I apologize for my hiatus, I"ve been severely wrapped up in a fanfic that is giving me too much trouble right now to even bother attempting to post. But soon.

This story, too, gave me too much trouble to even talk about. It seems as though I'd lost interest/inspiration. I"m not really totally satisfied with this chapter, but it told me to post it anyways. PYWD was feeling neglected. Thanks to my sweet beta AndreaMarieeeeee:) I didnt run the final product by her because I was too impatient too.

I love you all. Forgive the long possibly disappointing chapter. 3 LOVE!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rose picked me up at quarter past ten just outside of Uptown Diner on Wilson Avenue. Practice had gone fairly well, and the guys were right, James' vocals sounded incredible with the music we'd had written. Vocally, I don't know that we could ask for a better replacement.

I noticed as I slid into the passenger side of the car that Rose looked a little rattled, but she seemed to be trying to keep her composure. Her hands wrung the steering wheel as she stared out at the road careful to keep her eyes from mine.

"Everything okay, Rose?" I asked concernedly. "you look like you're about to snap the steering wheel in half." I commented and her grip immediately loosened.

"Stupid drivers out tonight." She scoffed unconvincingly. "The traffic on LSD was obnoxious." She said shaking her head and attempting to brush off my concern. The traffic in Chicago is pretty horrendous though, so I guess I couldn't blame her for being stressed out having to drive through it.

I turned my head and stared out of my window thinking about practice and James and everything that went on tonight. The car was quiet for a good ten minutes before Rose cleared her throat and broke the silence.

"You're awfully quiet. Everything go okay tonight?" she asked. I glanced over and gave her a weak smile.

"Yeah I'm fine, sorry. Just trying to process everything I guess," I said apologetically. "It's always hard to bring in new members to a band that was already like a family, ya know?"

"Mmm. I don't know, but I can imagine." She sympathized, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she bobbed and weaved through the traffic on Lakeshore Drive. "So, how was the new vocalist?" she asked keeping her eyes on the road but the interest prominent in her tone.

"It was interesting. He's definitely a complete polar opposite from Sam. He's really pasty with long dirty blonde hair and… I don't know. He's really rough around the edges. And really kind of cocky." I said, wrinkling my forehead in thought and trying to keep the uncomfortable shudder from escaping my bones.

If I were being completely honest, I'd have told Rose that I was absolutely creeped out by this James character, and the only reason I'd given my approval to accept him as our vocalist was because the other guys seemed desperate and really wanted him in the band. I didn't like the way he carried himself with such a lethal and intimidating attitude. I hated the way he looked at me and the way he shook my hand. It nearly made me sick to my stomach to even look at him as we practiced, but I just thought it was because I was so stressed out and still adjusting to my recent move. My emotions and perceptions were completely out of whack and rather than be the pessimist of the group, I'd just give them what they wanted, a "yes!" from the drummer so we could move forward.

I sighed heavily and looked down fidgeting my hands in my lap.

"You don't really want this guy in the band, do you?"

Damnit all. My stupid inability to hide my feelings, especially around my best friends, was really irritating sometimes and I bit my bottom lip in frustration. I decided to tell the truth but shrug it off as if it weren't as big a deal as I had made it out to be.

"I'm not opposed, I'm just being picky I think," I said nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders and turning my face to offer a quick smile in Rosalie's direction. "Really, there isn't anything wrong. I think my head is just all over the place trying to get used to living in the city, having a new job, meeting new people, and everything else that's been going on lately so I'm a little overwhelmed. I trust the guys' judgment and if they want James in the band, then that's fine with me." I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

Rose studied my face in quick glances between myself and the road for a few minutes and then seemed to relax some. She nodded her head slightly and then smiled.

"Well, I'm glad you guys have found a vocalist then. I'm excited to be able to come to you guys' shows and dance my ass off again." She grinned. Rose and Alice were always taking time off work and travelling to wherever our shows were if they knew we were within driving distance and it had been months since our last gig. I was just as anxious to be up on stage again as they were to be dancing to our music in the crowd. It was where I felt most alive.

I smiled back at her and then proceeded to stare in a more comfortable silence out of the passenger side window of the Porsche.

As we pulled into the parking garage, my eyelids were starting to get heavy and I was becoming more and more anxious for my bed. I wanted to crawl beneath the covers and just curl up and sleep the day away. Thankfully, I had the next day off work so I had no real reason to be up in the morning.

Rose parked the Porsche in Alice's spot and clicked the lock button on her key chain. I jumped at the loud single honk it let out, letting us know it was locked up and secure, and Rose gave me a weary sideways glance raising her eyebrow in question.

I knew I was more jumpy than usual, but I pretended not to see her questioning glance as we headed towards our apartment building. Before Rosalie could ask anymore questions I decided now was a good time to put the spot light on her.

"So, how are things with you and Emmett?" I grinned pushing the button for the third floor on the elevator wall. "You two have been spending an awful lot of time together this past week." I noticed Rose shift slightly on her feet as she pursed her lips into a firm line and we stepped into the elevator.

"We're friends, Bella." She said without looking at me. I cocked my head to the side, slightly surprised by her sudden change of attitude.

"I know that," I chuckled lightly. "but you don't see it ever becoming more than that? The big oaf always seems to have a giant smile for you." I laughed turning towards her and noticed her eyes narrow. She turned her face away from me and blinked rapidly to keep the frustrated tears at bay and I immediately regretted even bringing up the subject.

"Whoa,Rose, are you okay?" I was really confused now. Emmett and Rosalie were pretty flirty with one another and she never took even playful teasing over a boy, whether there was interest in something more or not, so personally. I wondered if maybe he'd hurt her feelings. Maybe they'd gotten into some sort of fight or something. Already though? They've only known each other a week! My mind was racing.

"I'm fine. Emmett is a good friend. I'm just not comfortable with talking 'future' plans, okay?" she asked, the tears successfully forced back from her eye lids. Before I could ask anything else, the elevator doors opened and Rose stepped out first.

"I wasn't asking if you two were planning to run off and get married! You hardly know each other. I'm sorry, I was just making conversation I suppose. I didn't mean to upset you." I said with a mixture of confusion and apology in my tone.

"I know that, and you didn't. I'm just tired and cranky. I'm gonna go get some rest. I'm beat." She said finalizing any other questions for the night. She yawned a little too big as we entered the apartment and turned to give me a quick hug.

"Good night, Bella. Sleep well when you do." And with that she walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

Shaking the confusion from my head, I realized Alice was nowhere to be seen. A small smile crept up on my face knowing immediately where Alice had disappeared to. She and Jasper were completely inseparable, though when they were with the rest of us, they were careful not to act too mushy gushy. Nothing was official, but their attraction was completely obvious and ever since Jasper had been sick, Alice was at his side as much as she could be.

This week had been a rather crazy one. I felt like so much had changed and so quickly. I was more than thankful for the friendships we'd developed with the guys and the people that I'd met at work, I was happy to be with my best friends again and my brothers in my band, save James of course.

I decided to try to get some sleep and as I walked into the bedroom I noticed Rose was already in bed and snoring lightly. I guess she really was exhausted. I pulled a white V-neck T-shirt and a pair of gray shorts from my bottom drawer and changed into them. I brushed my teeth and washed my face then flipped the bathroom light off and curled up in bed.

I lay staring up at our ceiling just trying to process this past week and being completely unable to fall asleep due to the fact. Every time I closed my eyes I was seeing either James or Jacob and I wanted to tear the feathers from my pillows in frustration. I slammed the palms of my hands down on my bed and sat up with a sigh. I snagged my phone from the floor to check the time.

Midnight; wonderful.

As I pulled myself out of bed, I opened the door into the living room just as Alice was quietly closing the front door behind her. I smiled sleepily as she bounced over to me, wrapped her tiny arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.

"What are you doing up silly girl?" she asked happily.

"Can't sleep." I sighed leaning against the wall between the kitchen and living room and letting my head fall against it. I looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times in frustration.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked kicking her flats off and wiggling her toes.

Maybe it would help to talk to Alice about everything. Sometimes just getting things out in the open could help a person clear their head, and Lord knows I needed some rest tonight.

After a bit of contemplation, I nodded and Alice bounced over to the couch. It made me smile to see her so happy.

"I'm gonna grab something to drink, you want anything while I'm up?" I asked shuffling towards the kitchen.

"I'm good." Alice chirped.

I poured myself a glass of water and headed back into the living room, sitting down by Alice and taking a long hard swallow from my cup. I sighed and stuck my glass between my knees, fiddling with the rim of it as I spoke.

"So, I met the new vocalist tonight," I started, then stopping to chew on my bottom lip as I thought about how to proceed. _Was I being too harsh on this guy_? I thought to myself. Maybe I shouldn't tell Alice how I'm feeling right now. Maybe I should just try to sleep on it.

"And he makes you uncomfortable." Alice finished my sentence and my head snapped up in her direction.

I shook my head stunned by her ability to predict what I would say before I said it. "How-"

"Bella, you're an open book. It's obvious by the way you're staring off into space, chewing on your lip like it's the last good meal you'll ever have, and crinkling your forehead like that." She said tapping her finger on my forehead as she spoke.

I laughed lightly, letting out a heavy sigh. She was right. I was far too easy to read and we'd known each other long enough it shouldn't have been such a surprise.

"I don't know. I just don't have a good feeling about him. I don't have anything against him necessarily; he just kind of gives me the creeps." I shrugged. Alice made that 'mmm' sound of understanding in the back of her throat and she nodded her head, encouraging me to continue. I sighed heavily.

"I want to give the guy a fair chance though, ya know? I mean, the guys are super excited about him and he does have a really good voice. I just. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being picky because the band is like family to me and I don't feel that just anyone could fill Sam's shoes."

"Well, that could be true." Alice said thoughtfully. "But at the same time, sometimes your gut is the best thing to follow. Don't settle just because you want to make the guys happy. Sometimes, you can be a people pleaser too much at your own expense. Look out for yourself too, Bells."

I nodded my head and offered her a half-smile. "I know, Al. Thanks."

She smiled warmly at me and covered the top of my hand as much as her tiny one could. I was done talking about silly things for the night and I could tell Alice had a lot on her mind too so I grinned at her and asked the question I knew she was dying for me to ask.

"So, what's going on with you and Jasper?" I leaned forward to show my enthusiasm towards her gushing and watched as the light in her face became even brighter. It actually did make me feel a lot better to listen to her talk about her night.

Jasper had asked her to go for dinner as a way to repay her for taking care of him while he was sick. He took her to Café Orange and then to Hot Chocolate for dessert. There was no hand holding or kissing or anything, Jasper was a complete gentleman. He opened doors and pulled out chairs and minded his P's and Q's. It was cute to hear how impressed Alice was with his impeccable manners. Jasper seemed like such a good guy, and Alice needed someone who would treat her like a princess.

As our conversation dwindled down and my water glass emptied, I stifled a yawn and looked down at my phone.

"Ugh. It's almost one thirty!" I moaned rubbing my eyes sleepily.

"Let's get some sleep. The faster I fall asleep, the faster I can get up and go see Jay." Alice squealed skipping ahead of me to the bedroom. I laughed as she quickly changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed.

I realized that I hadn't heard from or seen Edward all day and wondered what he'd been up to. I was actually eager to talk to him about practice and see how his day had gone, but maybe he had enough of me for a day or two after our little hang out last night. My heart sank a little and I scolded myself internally for allowing it to do so.

_Get a grip Mushy McEmopants! _I thought to myself with a roll of my eyes and a giggle to myself. As I crawled beneath my covers sleep found me much easier than it had before and I was fast asleep by the time my head hit the pillow.

Xxxxxxxxx

I took my time getting ready for the day since I had nothing of importance to get up for. I decided I didn't even care to change, so I expertly threw my bra on without having to remove my shirt and slipped a pair of skinny jeans and flip flops on. I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it into a messy pony tail then put on some eye liner and I was ready for the day.

Alice had left the coffee pot on for me so my coffee was still warm when I made my way into the kitchen. She's so thoughtful. I poured some into a tumbler and headed out the door. I wasn't really sure where I was going, but it was a nice enough day and I figured I shouldn't spend it pent up in the apartment all day.

As I made my way to the elevator I could hear muffled voices coming from inside. Once the door opened I was pleasantly surprised to see Jasper and Edward standing before me.

"Hey guys!" I said cheerfully.

"Hey! Alice told us that you had the day off today and so did we so we were just coming up to see if you wanted to go to the Field Museum with us." Jasper was leaned against the left wall of the elevator with a leather bag over his right arm. His whole face lit up with excitement as he spoke.

"The Field Museum?" Granted, I did really want to hit up that and the Shed Aquarium, but it was funny to me how excited the boys seemed about it.

"We got free passes to the Harry Potter exhibit." Edward chuckled running a hand through his messy bronze, beautiful locks.

"I didn't know you guys were Harry Potter fans! I'm totally in!" Now I was even more excited. I practically dove into the elevator with the boys as we made our way to the museum.

Oooooooooo

The exhibit was nothing short of amazing, and watching Jasper and Edward's excited faces as they took everything in had made my uncomfortable mood from last night melt away with ease. We stared, open mouthed, along side kids who were half our age and equally as excited at the props and costumes from The Great Hall, Hagrids Hut, and the Gryffindor Common Room. I bit back a giggle as Edward gasped and snagged Jasper's shirt sleeve when the props from HP and The Half Blood Prince came into view.

"Bella, we are SO going to see this together!" he half squealed and I felt my face explode in a giddy smile. Edward wanted to go to the movies with me. Play it cool, Bella. It's not that big of a deal.

"Oh, I've been planning the midnight showing for this one since I'd read the book! This is one of my favorites!" I laughed as Edward pulled his gaze from the displays and stared excitedly into my eyes. The butterflies stirred up in my stomach as I got lost in the magical world of not-so-make believe green that was Edward's emerald eyes. The beautiful acreage of Hogwarts has nothing on those puppies. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and blinked furiously, tearing my eyes away from Edward's and strolling up beside he and Jasper to get a closer look.

We spent the remainder of our afternoon acting like kids and I honestly couldn't remember the last time I felt so care-free. We strolled out of the museum still giddy and lost in our childish fantasies, wielding our wands and speaking with faux British accents. Edward was surprisingly convincing and Lord knows there's something about hot accents that really get me going. I blushed, again, at the thought and tried to keep from imagining kissing the 'bloody Hell' out of him.

We were walking down the street outside of our apartment building at close to six o'clock, still on our Harry Potter high and I was convinced that nothing could have popped my giddy little bubble of happiness.

"Isabella Swan." I cringed at the use of my full name, the color draining from my face, and my shoulders shrugging into my ears. I stopped walking and turned around to the face that accompanied the gravely voice that had just called out to me. James was walking just behind us, his hair pulled into a pony tail and his hands shoved deep into his weathered pockets. He pushed his sunglasses up from his eyes on top of his head and smiled.

"James, hey." I tried to play it cool as I returned the greeting. I snapped my head to the side as Edward's arm brushed mine and he looked down at me questioningly. If I didn't know any better, it would have seemed as though he was almost protective of me.

"Fancy seeing you here, little drummer girl." He laughed and I chuckled nervously. "You live around here?"

I nodded and pointed, stupidly, at the apartment building behind us. James' gaze followed my finger as he peered over our heads and to our apartment building.

"No shit?" he flashed his signature cocky grin. "Well I drive right past here on the way to practice if you ever need a ride." He looked me up and down slowly. I nodded and there was an awkward silence in the air for a few beats. Edward cleared his throat and shuffled his feet slightly and James seemed to realize Edward and Jasper flanking me for the first time.

"James, this is Edward and Jasper. Guys, this is our new vocalist, James." I felt stupid for not introducing them right away.

James extended his hand to Jasper first with a nod and took Edward's hand. Edward stiffened noticeably as he shook James' hand and they both puffed their chests a bit as they stared each other down. This was no friendly introduction and I started to get nervous.

"Well, we were heading inside to eat with some friends, but uhm, it's good to see you. I'll see you at practice in a few days." I said wanting nothing but to run inside and lock the doors behind me. It was silly, it's not like this dude was some crazy stalker, at least I didn't think so, but I wasn't really planning on spending much time with him outside of practice and shows, I'd decided.

With a nod, he stepped past us and threw a "good to meet you fellas." over his shoulder as he lit up a cigarette and rounded the corner. I sighed and headed once again for the building.

"You alright?" Edward's eyes narrowed a bit as he caught up with my quickened pace.

"You're shakin' a bit girl." Jasper followed up before I could answer and I shoved my hands into my pockets with a nod.

"Yeah, just ready to eat. I get shaky when I'm hungry." I lied and Edward's eyebrow cocked at me, unconvinced. A loud honk caused us all three to jump and relief flooded through me as I caught sight of Alice locking up the Porsche and waving at us on the sidewalk. I could get away from any awkward, unnecessary explanations for the night this way, so I jogged over to Alice waving my new Hermione Granger wand at her leaving a still weary Edward and Jasper in my wake. Today was just too good to ruin with my being overly anxious about a guy I didn't even know.


	9. Chapter 9: Show Time!

**A/N: Finally moving forward a bit! This is a long one, over 5.5 K! haha. anyways, there is more AN at the end so make sure you read that.**** I do not own, though I wouldn't mind just **_**one**_** for myself…**

The next few weeks went by in a blur. Work was busy and it was nice to get my first paycheck and actually feel okay about being dragged around the city once in a while by Alice to spend money on clothes. At least now I had a steady income.

Band practice was up and down. I was really trying to warm up to James and let go of my insecurities about him because when we were all together up in the stuffy practice room, everything sounded awesome. His vocals were becoming more and more attuned to us and our music was filling out beautifully finally having a good replacement vocalist. It didn't mean I liked it when he looked at me like I was something to eat, or that I was suddenly the guys' best friend, but I was doing what I could to sacrifice for my band, because sometimes that's just what you have to do.

The guys were over or visa versa almost every night now and we really felt like a big family. Emmett was like my big brother. He was very teasing in a loving way and incredibly protective which was awesome. It was obvious he was all eyes for Rose but she seemed reluctant to be so close. They still spent a lot of time together, but something in Rose had changed and I had yet to crack open that book because she was so adamant on leaving it closed.

Jasper and Alice were practically inseparable, but that's not to say we all didn't hang out. If Alice was at work and he knew Rose or I were at home, he'd still come up to hang out and watch movies or talk or help make dinner. He really was a gentleman and a good friend. Definitely the peace keeper of the trio as well. Nothing was 'official" between he and Alice because he liked to take things slow and he respected Alice too much to do anything otherwise. It was actually really cute.

I was learning more about Edward everyday that made me happy to call him my friend. He was definitely one in a million and our friendship had really blossomed over the past few weeks. We just clicked. He made me laugh and blush and just become comfortable in my own skin more than I had in so long. It was absolutely refreshing to say the least, but I was doing what I could to keep my head out of the clouds thinking this would become more than a friendship. Not that I wanted that. Not really. I mean, he's absolutely gorgeous and perfect in every way but, well you know…

Anyway, I was just enjoying Edward's company and the late night chats we had about music, movies, books, food, our friends, family, Harry Potter. He was my partner in crime and I loved every second we got to spend together be it just the two of us or with the whole group.

Tonight, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I were sitting in the guys' apartment talking as Edward and Jasper plunked around on their guitars and we made up silly songs. We were waiting for Em to get home from work so we could indulge in our newest tradition; Double Decker Dinner Night.

On Double-Decker Dinner Nights, we all got together to watch the newest episode of The Office (we tried to make sure it was Thursday night but if everyone couldn't make it we'd simply TiVo the episode and do it a different night) in our pajamas and feasted on double-decker peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was Emmett and I's favorite because we'd been the ones to initially come up with the idea. I'd been explaining to him how much I loved PB&J and how I never felt like one was enough. Emmett, being Emmett, and loving food in mass quantities, decided we needed to come up with a way to make one super awesome sandwich that could both taste delicious and fill our bellies.

"I got it!" he said as I hopped down from the counter to hand him the Jiffy Extra-Crunchy peanut butter. "How about bread, peanut butter, jelly, bread, peanut butter, jelly, bread, peanut butter, jelly, and then last piece of bread?" he said determinedly stacking five pieces of bread on top of each other and eyeing it to figure out how much height the peanut butter and jelly would add to it.

"I think that's a bit much. It sounds amazing, but there's no way you could get your mouth around that thing." I rubbed a hand along my chin in thought.

"That's what she said!" Emmett grinned over at me, and I crinkled my nose at him.

"Gross!" I whined and then we burst out laughing.

"Okay!" I said finally, "this is serious business! This sandwich is obviously too big to eat like a 'real' PB&J. We gotta make some changes."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. PB&J is finger food," he said matter-of-factly, "you can't just go about eating it with a fork and knife and it seems that this monster of a sandwich would definitely require such blasphemy." He chuckled, feigning his best Sherlock Holmes voice as he held the jelly spoon to his eye like a monocle.

"By George, I've got it!" I countered "What if we just do bread, peanut butter, jelly, bread, peanut butter, jelly, bread?" I offered. I looked up and Emmett's face lit up like a the candles on an old woman's birthday cake.

"Why, I think you may be onto something! How _do_ you do it?" he was actually pretty good at impersonations and I was grinning from ear to ear.

"Elementary, my dear Watson!" I said with a finger in the air, pretending to stroke the mustache I didn't have and thumbing the vest I also wasn't wearing as I marched, puffed chest, in circles around Emmett. Emmett grabbed me in a headlock giving me the noogie of my life, which I protested about loudly, but he's too strong for his own good, and then we made our glorious feast.

The sandwich was still huge and took a little effort to get your mouth around, but it was amazing and it definitely did the trick when it came to filling you up. We were lying sprawled across the guys' couch with strawberry preserves and Jiffy peanut butter streaked across the sides of our faces and wheat bread crumbs on our stomachs when the rest of our little family came home from work to watch The Office. Needless to say, there was a lot of giggling and 'what the heck's' and demand for double-decker sandwiches of their own.

As Rose, Edward, Jasper, and Alice all sat devouring their double-deckers, Emmett stood up, waving his peanut butter and jelly smeared knife in the air and proclaimed, "From this day forth I declare each and every Thursday to be known as 'Double-Decker Dinner Night' to celebrate the birth of the double-decker PB&J sandwich that is oh so glorious in my mouth and tummy! All in favor say I!"

We all laughed with a resounding "I" and so the tradition began.

"Alright, bring on the Double-Decker ooey-gooey goodness! I'm starved!" Emmett proclaimed as he swung the apartment door open. I jumped up, because as tradition would have it only Em and I were allowed to make the sandwiches. We were the inventors and the professionals and no one else was allowed to meddle in the making for fear they could royally screw it up. To be honest, we just liked to be difficult.

I made Emmett his sandwich, he prefers grape jelly over Edward and I's favorite of Strawberry Preserves, and we all settled in to watch TV.

Half way through the episode, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket and when I picked it up the screen was flashing 'Momma S'. I jumped up and walked into the hallway as I answered.

"Hey mom, what's up?" holding the phone between my left ear and shoulder so I could shut the door quietly behind me.

"Hey baby, just calling to see how you're doing. I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever!"

I'd been so caught up in the busyness of the past few weeks I didn't realize that I had only talked to my mother twice since I'd moved. I felt really bad.

"I'm good, Mom. I'm so sorry I haven't called more. Things have been ridiculously busy here." I paced the hallway twisting a strand of hair around my finger that had fallen from my pony tail and into my face. "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm good, just miss my kid!" she chuckled sadly. "I'm glad to hear that you're doing well though. How's work going? How's the band? How are the girls?" she asked the questions one after the other not giving me time to answer one before she fired off the next. I laughed and shook my head.

"Work is good. The girls are good too. The band is... good." I said a bit hesitantly.

"Uh-oh. Band stuff's _not_ so good, is it?" my mom could read me like a book without even looking at my face. Sometimes it floored me and other times it just plain frustrated me.

"No, it really is good. I miss Sam though." I admitted. "He's like a brother to us; I just miss having him around. And the new kid, though he sounds incredible, just isn't the same."

"Aww sweet heart, of course he's not the same! No one will ever be Sam, you know that. Just try to look at the good things that come with something different. Different isn't always bad just because it may be a little weird to adjust. If he sounds good and everyone gets along, then that's awesome! Right?" I gave a half smile at the phone receiver. I didn't want to try to explain my little quirk about James to my mother, and she really did have a point. Motherly advice was something I think I needed more of in my life as of late.

"Thanks Mom. I'm working on it." I concluded.

"So, have you decided when you're going to have time to come see your old mom? I almost can't remember what you look like!" she laughed and I did as well.

"I hadn't actually had too much time to think about it, but maybe the weekend of our show. I have that entire weekend off and the show is Friday night. I could catch a train home early Saturday and be back Monday morning since I don't work until later Monday night." I felt my heart swell a bit at the thought of getting to go back home for a couple days, and then oddly enough it sank at the idea of being away from everyone even for that short of time.

"Perfect!" I could hear my mom clapping her hands excitedly over the phone line. "When is your show? I'll make sure to take work off so I can pick you up."

"It's an earlier show because they're having some DJ come in afterwards for a late night rave or something. I should be able to get out of there by 9:30 and hop the last train into Michigan City if you could drive that far." I said chewing on a hang nail and spitting the pieces on the floor. I could be so lady-like.

"Perfect, just let me know if you miss your train or you won't be able to make in until Saturday so I can plan accordingly. I don't want to drive that far and have you not show up." She laughed, knowing I had a tendency to run into bad luck and get left behind. For some reason unless I left myself hours of extra time, I could almost always find a way to miss my trains or planes.

"I promise I'll keep you updated." I snorted shoving my now hang nail free hand into my pocket and turning back for the apartment door.

"Alright sweetheart, well I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing, but I can't wait to see you!" she said excitedly and I smiled fondly.

"Okay, see you soon Mom. Love you." I hung up, sticking my phone into my pocket and bouncing back into the apartment just as the episode ended and my friends erupted into laughter.

"Bells, you totally missed it! Best episode ever!" Emmett laughed, uncurling his legs and getting up to walk into the kitchen with everyone's empty paper plates.

I sat down next to Edward on the floor and laughed. "Good thing it's TiVo! I can just watch the end of it some other time." I smiled.

"What's got you all smiles?" Edward asked, that perfect crooked grin on his face as he poked me in the ribs.

"That was my mom. I'm gonna go home and visit her after our show next weekend. She misses me." I said twirling my thumbs in my lap.

Edward's smile faltered a little bit, or so I thought. "How long will you be gone?" he asked, his forehead crinkling just a bit. I fought the urge to wipe a hand over his brow and make the creases disappear.

"Just a couple of days, I work Monday so I can't be gone long." Edward relaxed a bit and his smile reached his eyes again.

"Well, awesome. I'm happy you'll be able to spend time with your mother." He nodded and the conversation went back to the episode I'd missed and other random things until we all headed our separate ways to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next week was filled with a ton of rehearsals, work, and planning for the weekend to come. I was getting more and more nervous thinking about playing a show again. I loved being onstage and playing music with the guys, but I was worried I'd be rusty having not played in so long. By the time Friday came around I thought I was going to shake the skin from my bones I was so jittery with nerves.

"Bella calm down!" Alice laughed in my ear. "Do you want me to burn you with the flat iron?" she stepped back waving the flat iron in my face and holding onto the clip that held the majority of my hair atop my head.

"Sorry." I mumbled biting down on my bottom lip and focusing on trying to keep my legs from bouncing around so much.

"Really, I haven't seen you so nervous to play in years!" Rose commented as she pursed her lips in the mirror to make sure her lipstick was even and batted her perfect eye lashes.

"I know, I'm not usually so nervous, but I feel like it's been forever since I've been onstage and now there's a whole slew of new friends to impress with my mad skills." I tried to keep the mood light and joke away the nerves in my system. The three of us laughed together and I felt myself relax just a bit.

"Ah, just the fact that you're in a band at all and willing to get up there is impressive in itself, girl." Rose soothed. "Besides, Edward will think you're awesome no matter if you mess up or not."

I tensed immediately and stuck my tongue out at her reflection in the mirror and she snorted back at me.

"You can't tell me that if it were just Emmett and Jasper coming sans Edward that you'd be _this_ nervous." She cocked a perfect eye brow at me as she called me out turning around to lean against the counter and cross her arms over her chest. I shrugged in response knowing she was probably right, and held my breath to internally curse away the blush rising in my cheeks.

"Laaaadies! Your chauffeur has arrived!" Emmett called from the living room and Rose pushed off from the counter to go greet the boys as Alice continued her work on my hair.

"Don't worry, Bella. You'll do great tonight, and even if you mess up at least you'll _look _great tonight so no one will really care." She giggled and I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks, pixie." I teased.

I had to admit though, I didn't look half bad. I had on a pair of skinny jeans with holes in the knees and a deep blue V-neck t-shirt complete with my Tom's shoes that I adored drumming in. Rose had applied eye liner to my lower lid and some mascara and Alice straightened my hair. They knew better than to do much else considering I'd be a sweaty mess and any more make up would only be smudged and or running down my face by the end of our set.

"Okay, all set!" Alice chirped, setting down the flat iron and inspecting her work one last time before we left the apartment. I smiled at my newly primped reflection in the mirror and was amazed at how nice my friends made me look. I turned my smile on Alice and we linked arms, bouncing from the bathroom to go meet the rest of the gang and head down to the venue.

Emmett and Rose sat in the front seat of Emmett's Jeep while Edward, Alice, Jasper and I all crammed into the back somehow. It was cramped, but the closeness of my friends eased my nerves. Once we got to the venue and piled out of the Jeep Quil and Embry ran up to meet us.

"We got here a little earlier than we were expected and they let us load in already." Embry said grinning from ear to ear. He was hopping around like the Trix rabbit on crack and his excitement about hitting the stage again was both evident, and contagious.

"I'm sorry! Why didn't you guys call me? I would have tried to come down a little earlier to help load in!" I whined, feeling like a total waste. Not that I felt like there was any sort of competition or I needed to prove anything, but I didn't like feeling like people thought of me as the 'girl' of the band and assuming that the guys did everything for me.

"Nah, no worries, we just took all of your stuff from the cases and put the deads back into Quil's truck. We know how you get about being independent and putting your crap together yourself so we left that for you to do." He winked at me and laughed. I appreciated the fact that they knew me so well and respected my silly quirks.

I turned my attention to my friends trying to decide what to tell them and how to go do what I had to do and not feel like a jerk for leaving them outside but the softness in Edward's smile suddenly made me not so worried.

"Go ahead, we'll wait out here until the doors open." He smiled at me and winked placing a hand on my shoulder and I felt the electricity slide through my arm and down through my fingers. I gasped a bit and looked up into Edward's eyes. For the first time in a long time I actually felt the want in my stomach to just kiss him.

_Where the hell did that come from?! _I thought nervously as the blush rose up in my face and I turned on my heels and ran for the door. I thought it better to just hightail it than get laughed at for blushing or questioned as to why I was so red in the face. I needed to get a good tan somehow so maybe it wouldn't be so obvious when I was feeling embarrassed or sweet on some disturbingly beautiful friend who was a boy and whom I may be totally harboring growing feelings for. I did not just admit that.

I made it into the venue after explaining to the bouncer that I was the drummer for the band and got my 'artist' wristband placed around my right wrist. All of my drums were in a neat line across the right wall and the other band members were scattered around chit chatting, putting their stuff together, and tuning their guitars. I made myself busy with putting my cymbal stands together and trying hard to keep from getting my nerves riled up again when a voice said my name from behind me but very close to my ear making me jump and crack him in the chin with the top of my head.

"Ouch!"

"Shit!"

Came our simultaneous cries as I turned, rubbing the top of my head and squinting my eyes from the sting. James was rubbing his jaw and had stumbled back a few feet and I noticed the drink in his hand had sloshed onto his shirt.

"Sorry. I didn't mean… you just startled me." I apologized.

"It's cool. I was gonna ask if you wanted some help with that." He motioned to my pile of equipment with the hand he held his glass in.

"Uhm… that's okay I got it. I like to do this stuff myself. I appreciate it though." I said as sincere as I could, my voice quivering a bit. I bit down on my bottom lip in frustration.

"You sound nervous."

"No I'm not." I stammered.

James chuckled shaking his head but his eyes never leaving me. I started to get uncomfortable again.

_Chill out, Bella. What has this guy honestly ever done to you?_

"I'll be right back." And with that he took off back towards the bar.

I busied myself with putting my stands and drums together and as I was tightening my kick pedal to my kick drum James came back holding a tiny shot glass filled with a caramel colored liquid. He smiled and held it out to me.

"What is that?" I asked, feeling leery about drinking before a show. I hardly drank ever anyway, and taking a shot from James right before we're supposed to get onstage and play the first show we'd played in over half a year did not seem like the smart thing to do. I crinkled my nose and shook my head.

"It'll calm the nerves, I promise. It's a shot of Jim Beam." He smiled.

Jim Beam…I'd had that once before. I think. Maybe. I can't remember. Like I said, I hardly ever drink and I was no alcohol connoisseur. I didn't move to take it from him, still not sure that I wanted to even if it would 'calm my nerves'.

Before I had the chance to answer, Emmett walked over, snatched the shot from James' hand, and tipped it back. James eyes widened in shock as Em's big goofy grin overtook his face and he handed the shot glass back to him.

"Ohh Jimmy Beam!" he boomed, slapping a hand over James' shoulder.

"She's not a drinker." He said winking at me and I smiled at him in thanks. "C'mon I'll buy you a drink." He said ushering James away from me and back towards the bar. He was such a lifesaver, and probably one of the only people who could 'bully' James like that considering he was a good six inches taller than him and his arms were twice as big as James'.

Edward, Jasper and Alice walked over with Quil and Embry to where I was seated tuning up my drums. It made me happy to see them all together and see Jasper and Edward getting along well with them considering this was another group who was like family to me. I smiled warmly at them as they approached me.

"So, you ready to rock and roll, kiddo?" Quil smiled.

"Bring it on, baby!" I smiled high fiving him and hopping up and down on my throne.

The night went by quickly and before I knew what was happening we were setting our stuff up on the stage. I jumped up and down in my little corner behind the stage before we were announced, stretching my legs and fingers and trying to keep my breathing even.

"Give it up for, La Push!" and with those words, me and my brothers, Quil, Embry, and James took the stage.

I took a deep breath as the applause died down a bit and as I was about to count off by clicking my sticks I heard Alice squeal, "HELL YEAH, BELLA!" from the crowd. Immediately my face painted scarlet with my blush and lit up with my smile. I slammed my sticks together and the lights went up with our first chord and everything was right in the world. My heart hammered with passion and James' vocals were spot on. The guitars were flowing like honey and it stuck to my ear drums oh so tastefully. We were totally in our element tonight.

I looked into the crowd to see Rose and Alice dancing like fools, their hair tossing about their faces and their fists in the air. Emmett and Jasper were laughing and dancing around too, but their focus was held by Quil and Embry as they drooled over their guitars and watched their fingers fly around the fret boards.

I looked down to see Edward at the edge of the stage smiling up at me with that dazzlingly beautiful smile and he winked proudly when my eyes caught his. It made my heart flutter and I nearly missed a beat I was so flustered. I laughed to myself, winked back, and tore my eyes from his knowing if I didn't I'd surely screw up.

Our final chord echoed through the venue and everyone erupted in cheers and applause and as I ran to the edge of the stage, my friends were there to greet me. This night was perfect.

Emmett reached up over Alice's head to high five me. "That was freakin awesome, sister!" he shouted over the music that was now blasting through the venue's sound system. I was giddy with adrenaline and elation from how great the show went.

"Did you see us doing the stomp during the last song?!" Alice squealed jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

"No!" I laughed. "I totally missed it!"

"She was a bit preoccupied." Rose smirked, throwing a glance at Edward so only I could notice and I scowled in response.

Edward slung his arm around my shoulders grinning from ear to ear and planted a kiss on top of my head. I was sure my eyes were wide as saucers and I held my breath willing my heart beat back to a normal pace. Rose and Alice giggled and Jasper turned his head to hide the smirk on his face. I slammed my eyes shut and felt Edward's breath against my ear.

"Beautifully played, Bella. I don't understand why you were so nervous about us being here tonight. You did an amazing job!" he breathed with a chuckle that rumbled through his chest and along my side. I chuckled nervously beside him turning my face up to look him in the eyes.

"Thanks." I said shyly.

Suddenly I was jerked from under Edward's arm and into a giant bear hug by Embry.

"WOO BABY!" He howled "How awesome was that?!" I squeezed him in return laughing along with my 'brother' as Quil and James joined our little huddle in the corner.

"Great job, guys! That felt incredible!" I gushed reaching my arm out to turn mine and Embry's hug into a giant group hug.

"I second that notion." Quil smiled putting his arm around me and pulling James into the huddle. James had a very cool and collected expression on his face but he smiled back at us.

"Great first show, definitely." He commented. "But we should get over to the merch table. We've already got ourselves a line."

I looked over to see the small crowd gathered around our table and my face fell at the realization that I had only an hour to make it down to the train station.

"I have to run." I dropped my head. "I have to catch a train home in an hour."

I said my goodbyes to the band, apologized for not having time to pack my stuff up this time, and we all piled into Emmett's Jeep. The ride to the station was filled with chatter about the evening and lots of laughter. As we neared Millennium Station, I grabbed my backpack from the backseat and looked up at Edward. He hadn't said too much the whole drive and I elbowed him in the ribs playfully trying to get him to smile. He looked down at me and grinned.

"Have fun with your mom." He smiled but his words lacked the happiness he plastered on his face.

"I will, thanks. Don't worry, I'll be back before you even have time to miss me." I batted my eyes and giggled and Edward's smile widened as he rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, I felt something land in my lap and slam against my chest, wrapping its arms around my neck.

"Have fun, Bells! Tell Momma S that I love her and miss her!" Alice chirped into my ear, kissing me on the cheek. I laughed and promised her I would. I hopped out of the Jeep when Emmett pulled up next to the station, thank him for driving me down, and waved goodbye to the gang as I descended the stairs to buy my ticket.

There was a long line at the ticket booth, so I walked up shoving my IPOD ear buds into my ears and flipping through the songs on my 'road trip' playlist. I settled on Anberlin and listened through 'A Day Late' as I waited in line. Once the song ended, the murmur of the crowd in the station was once again filling my ears, but there was one voice that I noticed over everyone else. I heard him asking for a ticket to Michigan City and it made my skin crawl and my stomach knot up.

_There's no way. He moved south, Mom said so_. I thought frantically. I couldn't bring myself to look away from my feet as I thought. I slowly pulled the hood of my salt and pepper American Apparel zip up over my head and turned my body sideways so I was facing the way I'd come in.

"Thanks." I heard the man say and I waited for the guy in front of me to get his ticket too before I turned back around. My heart was beating frantically and my palms had started to sweat.

"Miss? Can I help you?" the teller asked.

"Uhm. Yes. Uhm, one to Michigan City." I stammered.

I handed the lady my money, grabbed my ticket, and waited for the final boarding call before I attempted to get on the train. I was the last one through the doors and I sat down in the last seat of the car I entered, slouching into my seat and turning my IPOD up so I couldn't hear anyone talking.

We started rolling and I was confident I was in the clear, but once I looked up from my seat I saw him. His dark hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail and he was wearing the jacket he wore the last time I saw him. Three seats ahead and on the opposite side of the aisle I was in, Jacob turned his head to the side and I jerked myself back down into my seat away from anyone's view. I grabbed my phone from my bag and texted Alice.

"Jacob's on the train." I typed quickly. "I don't know what to do." As I hit send, a pair of all too familiar shoes made their way into view of my downcast eyes.

He was standing right beside me, and I couldn't move.

**A few thank-you's are in order! Thanks to Jessica for her continued support and plugging me in her ten times as amazing story. (Go check out Leave Me Alone, I'm Lonely by Shamrockin. She's a great writer and her fic is amazing. Especially if you love Alice and Jasper!) and Alayna for being excited to get new chapters as I write and encouraging me to keep on going. I love you girls! **

**Thanks to Kate for finally starting to read my story hahaha ;) love you!! Xo **

**Another thanks goes out to Jasperrose and CNelson** **for keeping up with me and being excited about my crappy little story. You win your very own double-decker PB&J made by the character of your choice haha.**

**And always, thank you to Andrea for being my awesome alpha;) and for allowing the best joke of the story to come into play because you had your mind in the gutter a little bit. I laughed really hard. I love you for that. **

**And thanks to anyone else who has read/favorited/reviewed me, you're awesome! **

**I'm off to Cornerstone Festival and then Michigan for a week so it will be a couple of weeks before I get the next chapter up. But it WILL be up sooner than later******** 3**


	10. Chapter 10: Trains, Pains, & Automobiles

**A/N: **This chapter is going to open up to some of the things that happened with Jacob and Bella, but I'll warn you now that you won't get the entire story. I'm saving all the details of that for a later chapter, and I think you'll appreciate why

On an unrelated note, vacation was amazing, Cornerstone blew my mind, and my birthday was incredible. I got Twilight the board game from Kate (which is hysterical to play btw. Wow.), pumpkin lotion, a bag of wonderful sparkly goodies, and a freakin double decker pb&j for the trip home from Andrea, and a show which I've become incredibly addicted to called Beautiful People (yes the entire series on dvd, be jealous haha) from Jess. I was in seventh heaven! I smell of pumpkins and every night I curl up to stare at the beautifulness that is Jackson Rathbone on my tv screen.

Anyways, enough rambling! I hope the wait was worth it! On with the show!

xxxxxxxx

"Bella."

I tried not to scrunch my nose at the way I hated the sound of my name on his lips. I swallowed hard against the dryness in my throat and slowly let my gaze drift upwards from Jacob's black and white shoes to his face. His hands were pushed deep into the pockets of his jeans and his hair was hanging in his face so I couldn't see his eyes. It made my stomach twist in ways that I prayed wouldn't make me hurl all over the train seat.

I didn't even know how to respond so I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to keep the terrified tears from my eyes. I pulled one of my ear buds from my ears and cleared my throat.

"Jacob? I thought you moved?" my voice sounded choked and horrified. His head shot up and the hair fell away from his eyes revealing an uneasy and annoyed expression.

"God. Everyone needs to know and spread my business, don't they?" he scoffed grinding his teeth together and darting his eyes from my face to the seat back in front of me.

"M-My mom told me. She wasn't spreading your business she just thought I'd want to know-"

"Why?" his eyes were black as pitch and I sunk back a bit at his fiery expression. "So you could appropriately avoid me? Or so you could come home without the risk of running into me?" he pursed his lips and stared at me stone faced, his arms crossed defensively over his chest.

I shrugged my shoulders and jumped at the sound of my phone vibrating in my hands. The screen lit up alerting me that Alice was responding to my text. I quickly flipped the phone over face down in my palm and curled my fingers around it setting my hand back into my lap. I decided to ignore his crappy attitude and attempt to ask some harmless questions.

"So… how's Paul?"

Jake took a step back and stared at me a little bewildered before his eyes softened slightly. I remembered then how I could turn his bad attitude around just by asking a question or saying something random to throw him off. I realized suddenly that despite remembering those things, I didn't feel anything other than discomfort at being face to face with him again. I didn't feel an ache in my chest or the hurt that accompanied a lot of the memories of 'us'. I didn't even get that little twinge in the pit of my stomach. Oddly enough, I could only thing of how badly I wished Edward were sitting beside me right now.

Huh.

I blinked a few times and refocused on Jacob remembering the question I'd just asked. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised waiting for his answer.

"He's fine. He was supposed to come with me, but he met some girl." He sneered.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." The conversation seemed to be on a continuing downward spiral of awkwardness and we both grew silent. My phone buzzed again and I was itching to open Alice's message. I noticed my feet tapping and decided I needed to act fast or he'd surely notice my nervous twitch.

"So, how is the new job? What brought you to Chicago?" I stammered, blushing angrily for not being able to keep my cool. I'm sure I sounded like an idiot.

"The job is a job. It pays the bills. I was in Chicago simply because it's cheaper to fly there than to come into Kalamazoo or South Bend. I'm taking the train home to visit and grab the rest of my things so I can officially be moved out and have no ties back in Michigan." He said very matter-of-fact.

"That's true, it's quite a bit cheaper to fly to Chicago, I forgot about that." I nodded. "Congratulations on the job and the move though, that really is awesome. I'm excited for you." I said sincerely.

Jacob nodded and I watched as his eyes lit up in what I took to be realization.

"Actually, one of the things I was going to do while I was there was drop this off with your mom." He reached into his back pocket pulled out a small white envelope with my name scrawled across it in the familiar script I'd been used to seeing in love letters and grocery lists during the 'good times' of our relationship.

"What's this?" I asked narrowing my eyes in confusion.

"No need to open it now. Just something I needed to get to you so I could put my mind at ease and hopefully yours too." There was no emotion in his voice so it was hard to tell what he meant by that. I wanted to open the envelope but not with him standing there staring at me, so I tucked it into my book bag and offered the bit of a smile my strained facial muscles would allow me to create.

"How's the band?" I watched as his shoulders relaxed a bit and was thankful for some civility in our conversation.

"Good. We played our first show in months tonight, hence my sweaty hair and the smell I'm sure is about to make you pass out." I tried to keep it light and add some humor to our awkward conversation and was pleased when Jacob's mouth twitched slightly into a small smile.

"Show go well?"

"It did."

Jacob nodded his head making an 'hmm' sound of approval.

The doors to our car opened then and the ticket collector stepped through.

"Tickets please!" he announced through the train, turning to take an elderly woman's ticket, quickly punch two holes in the stub, and mark a piece of paper to stick above her head in the luggage rack.

"Well, it was good to see you again, Isabella. Enjoy your trip." Jacob said turning on his heels and hurrying back to his seat.

"You too." I whispered to his retreating form. I looked down into my lap at my shaky hands and sighed. I flipped my phone over and hurriedly opened Alice's text.

"W. T. F?!!?!! Are you okay? Why? I thought he moved! Did he see you? Do I have to go buy a ticket and ride my ass to Michigan just so I can kick his and then go back home?"

I giggled at my phone screen and let my head drop back against the seat as I popped my ear bud back into my ear. I handed my ticket to the ticket collector with a smile and responded to Alice's text once he walked away.

"Yes I'm fine. A little thrown off, but I'll live. He did move, he's coming home to get the rest of his things. He saw me. We talked. I'll explain later, too much to text. No train ticket needed for you, though I do wish you were here with me." I typed and sent it back.

I caught Jacob peek behind his shoulder quickly as he handed the collector his ticket. Our eyes locked briefly and he turned around before I could blink. I bit down on my bottom lip and sighed as I scrolled through my contacts and found Rosalie.

"Hey, not sure if Alice told you, Jacob's on the train. Awkward Party 9000." I typed and hit send. I started to tap my foot to rhythm of "West Coast Friendship" by Owl City and I saw Jacob's head turn again in my direction. He knew what I was listening to simply because of the way I tapped and moved to the music.

I remembered a time when he used to think it was cute that I tapped on everything in sight and got so into the music I listened to. Towards the end, when things went sour, we were in the car and I was listening to this song. I started to tap my hands and feet and hum along when he slammed his massive hand over mine and slammed on his brakes.

"Will you stop it already?! You remind me of Quil when you do that crap! Just once I'd like to listen to a song without you ruining it by tapping on everything in sight. It drives me crazy!" he'd yelled, his eyes full of fire and annoyance.

I stared at him in disbelief and jerked my hands from beneath his. I turned my head quickly to stare out of the window and hide my tears as he slowly accelerated.

"I'm sorry." We both whispered in unison. I turned my face back towards his with the tears trickling from the corners of my eyes and wiped the back of my hand quickly over my cheeks. His eyes softened and he brought his hand back over to mine as they trembled in my lap, only this time his touch was soothing as he squeezed my fingers and brought them up towards his lips to kiss the backs of my knuckles.

I shook myself from the memory and realized he was staring at me. Blushing, I looked back down to my phone and stopped my tapping as I opened Rosalie's message.

"Uh-oh spaghettios. Do I need to cut a bitch?" Leave it to Rose and Alice to act as my protectors. I love those girls to death.

"No cutting needed, thanks though. He keeps looking over his shoulder at me. What should I do?"

I refused to look at him though I could feel him glance at me every few seconds. My phone lit up again.

"Alice just forwarded me your texts. How'd the confrontation go?"

"Awkward. Is it wrong I feel like I should apologize?"

"Not wrong, just weird. He was a total douche the last six months of your relationship."

"My exit was far from fair or graceful."

"Do what you feel you need to do. Txt or call when it's over. We'll need details." That last text was from Alice. I took a deep breath and stood up on shaky legs tugging my ear buds from my ears and sticking my IPod and phone into my book bag. I saw Jake take a deep breath and purse his lips as I slowly walked over to his seat. He looked up at me and I offered him a weak smile.

"Can we talk?" I whispered staring at my hands.

He didn't answer for a moment and I was too nervous to look him in the face. I heard the fabric of his jacket sliding against his seat as he slid over for me to sit beside him. I sat down, still staring at my hands and cleared my throat.

"Jacob, I need to apologize to you for the way I- well- for leaving the way that I did." I started, focusing intently on breathing in and out and not letting myself get choked up. Regardless of the emotion, weather it be nervousness, anger, sadness, joy, if it's an overwhelming emotion I normally burst into tears and I did not want that to happen now.

"Bella don't. It's over, it's in the past, let's leave it there. No use in beating a dead horse." He spoke softly and I chanced a quick glance at his face and noticed he too was staring intently at his own hands.

"I'm not trying to 'beat a dead horse', but whatever is in that envelope you gave me you said would help you put your mind at ease and me getting this off of my chest will do the same for me. Please, just listen to me for a minute okay?" I looked him full on in the face this time and he nodded once wiping the sweat from the palms of his hands on his jeans.

"Things were really bad between the two of us, especially the last few months we were together, we both knew that. You were constantly blowing up on me and getting angry over things that I did not understand and I was always making excuses to leave town and run from our issues." I swallowed hard and Jacob nodded slowly. "Granted, I'm not saying that we would have stayed together even if I had stuck around to talk things out, but it could have made our break up a lot less messy if I hadn't been a coward and just run away. I'm sorry for that, Jacob. I'm sorry for all of the excuses and for being so cowardly. The love we had in the beginning was incredible and I will always care about you and I do hate that everything fell apart, but I don't want us to go through life unable to forgive each other and avoiding each other like this. I don't want it to be completely awful and awkward if we so happen to run into each other once in a while."

The air between us was buzzing and the silence was thick. Jacob seemed to be deep in thought and he blew out a long hard breath before he finally spoke.

"I need to apologize too, Bella. You're right; things were really bad between us. I didn't want it to end like it did, even though we were miserable. I'm just sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me so much. I was so frustrated that your passions in life were taking you away from me so often and it got to the point that I couldn't even be happy for you. I was just completely jealous of your band and your love for music and- "he stopped, seeming to be searching for the right words, "I realized that the things we both wanted in life no longer lined up and it made me angry. I shouldn't have taken things out on you the way that I did. I especially had no excuse to ever lay my hands on you and I'm so sorry I was such a jerk."

"It was one time, Jacob. And you didn't hit me, yeah you scared the hell out of me, but you apologized for that over and over. I forgave you. You need to forgive yourself. Please?"

The knot in my stomach seemed to be unwinding and the weight I'd been carrying around was slowly being pulled from my shoulders as we finally opened these unspoken doors of communication.

Jacob's shoulders slumped as he looked over at me. I watched the stone walls he'd been hiding behind crumble away as he placed his hand over mine.

"I screwed this up. Really bad."

I nodded and sighed. "We both did."

"I moved away for the same reasons you did though. I needed to get better, to fix myself, and to heal. Only I needed to actually take responsibility for myself rather than letting you take it for me. I'm just sorry it took you walking away for me to man up. But I understand why you left now, Bella. I was horrible to you and you didn't deserve it at all. You were nothing but good to me and I took it all for granted. Yeah, towards the end you were distant and the whole breaking up and then you ditching town two days later really sucked, but you were scared. I can't say that if the tables were turned I wouldn't have done the same thing."

"Thank you, Jacob." I didn't know what else to say as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I was frustrated I let them get away from me, but it felt so good to finally hear an apology from him.

Jacob had a rough life, a father who was never there and a lot of problems he needed help with that I couldn't fix for him. We'd both made our share of big mistakes, and he'd really hurt me, but that didn't mean I should hate him. There was a reason I'd fallen in love with him in the first place and he really was a great guy deep down, just not great for me.

I sighed as he pulled his hand from the top of mine and let me wipe the tears from my face. I stuck my dry hand out and he looked at me questioningly.

"Forgiven?"

In proud Jacob fashion, he accepted my handshake, shook my arm once with a curt nod and then released my hand and dropped his back to the seat beside him.

I stood up, feeling lighter than I had in months, walked back to my seat and quickly fished my IPOD from my bag. I stuck the ear buds in my ears and turned the music to "Day Late Friend" and closed my eyes.

My phone was buzzing with texts from Alice and Rose so I fished my phone from my bag as well and texted them both, "I need sleep. I'll call you in the morning. Love you."

I slid over to the window and rested my head against the glass as the train continued on its journey and I fell into a deep sleep.

xxxx

I awoke with a start, someone was jostling my shoulder and for a second I was really confused as to where I was.

"Miss. Miss! This is the end of the line, your stop." The conductor said brusquely before he snatched the small piece of paper from the luggage rack above me. I jumped up, snatching my bag and nearly dropping my IPOD to the floor in my haste. One ear bud popped from my ear and I let it dangle as I scurried out of the train door and down the steps to the platform. I looked around sleepily and caught the sight of Jacob climbing into the passenger's seat of a van and pull away.

"Bella!" I heard my name being called and smiled as I turned and saw my mother standing with one leg in the car and the other on the pavement of the parking lot. She was bouncing up and down excitedly and waving frantically as if I wouldn't see her even though I was the last person off of the train.

I waved back and jogged up the few steps to the parking lot, dropping my bag next to the car and jumping into my mother's arms. It felt good to be with her again and I welcomed the shower of kisses she planted on my cheeks.

"Oh, baby I missed you so much!" she squealed, placing both of her hands on my cheeks and looking me over like she was inspecting me for missing parts.

"I mished you thoo." I smiled through squished cheeks.

She planted one last kiss on my right cheek as she let my face go and climbed into the car, jabbering a mile a minute. I shook my head and reached down for my book bag, shoving my IPOD back into the small front pocket. Just as I stepped to my side of the car, my phone buzzed.

I climbed into the passenger's side of the car trying to catch all of what my mother was rambling about and pulled my phone from my bag. It was a text from Edward.

"I hope you made it back to Michigan safely. Text me if you can and let me know you're safe, the girls were acting funny and got me worried about you. If you're too busy though, I do understand. Sleep sweetly, Bella."

I dropped my head back against the seat and clutched my phone to my chest. I was almost too exhausted from everything that had happened tonight and my mom continuing to talk my ear off to even think of what to say in response. It did make me feel good though to know he cared enough to check up on me.

"Alas, I survived. Thank you for checking up on me. I'll text you soon. Sleep even sweeter, Edward."

Sent.

As I drifted in and out of consciousness, my mother continued to ramble and bounce in her seat waking me up here and there to ask me questions. I held my phone against my stomach just in case I got a new message from anyone back in Chicago. Oddly enough, I was already missing being in the apartment with Rose, Alice, Em, Jazz, and Edward.

_Oh, Edward. _I though with a sleepy sigh.

"I saw Jake climbing off the train. Did you two run into each other?" My eyes popped back open and I turned my head towards my mother. She kept her eyes on the road and gripped the steering wheel uneasily. I took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over my face wiping away the drool that started to accumulate in the corner of my mouth. I blinked a few times and cleared my throat unnecessarily.

"Yeah, actually, we did." I said my voice low from exhaustion.

Mom was quiet for a beat before taking a deep breath and asking, "and how did that go?"

"It was awkward at first, but it was a much needed conversation, I think. I feel like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders." I said, nodding my head and sighing at the thought of how good I really did feel.

"Well that's good honey, I'm glad." She smiled glancing over at me and patting my knee.

"He's not moving back… is he?" she sounded worried.

"No, no. Not at all. He's just back to collect the last of his things actually and then head back to… where ever it is he moved to. I actually forgot to ask where he went." I shrugged and jumped as my phone buzzed again. I looked down into my lap and smiled when I saw it was Edward.

"Hope I'm not waking you. Thanks for the response; I'll sleep easier knowing you're safe."

I sighed and my mom chuckled beside me. I didn't look at her knowing she'd notice me blushing right away but that didn't stop her from making comments.

"Who's got you all smiles?" she laughed and I chewed on my bottom lip to keep from smiling too big.

"A friend." I looked quickly out through the passenger side window into the darkness that surrounded us.

"Would this 'friend' happen to be one of those boys you're friends from the apartment below you, Ally, and Rose?" she asked knowingly. I saw her reflection in the window as she glanced at me and raised an eyebrow in my direction.

"Maybe." I finally looked at her and couldn't keep the smile from my face.

"So you've found yourself a rebound, eh?" my smile slipped away as quickly as it appeared.

"Mom! Edward is not a rebound. He's not even my boyfriend. He's just a really great friend. A very attractive friend, yes, but I know I'm not ready to jump into a relationship with anyone right now."

"That's good, babe. Take your time."

I rolled my eyes so she couldn't see.

"Thanks Mom, I know. Believe me." I whispered staring at my screen debating on responding to the text Edward had sent. He really was a sweet heart.

I was still a little frustrated that my mom would think I'd actually go for a rebound guy. I was way too scared to trust my heart with anyone, even Edward whom I was growing more fond of every day but was refusing to admit that aloud. Not to mention that I am a lady, not a tramp, and I do not go for random hook ups or make outs. That's just not me. I'm sure she's just concerned for me she just doesn't always know how to appropriately go about getting information from me about boys or awkward circumstances.

We pulled into the drive way and I was slightly disappointed that I couldn't see our yard because of the cloudy starless sky and how late it was. If I hadn't been so tired, I probably would have waited for the sun to rise so I could watch its gorgeous reflection off of our pond.

_If Edward was with me, it wouldn't matter how tired I was I'd be able to stay up and watch the sunrise with him. _I thought, surprising myself at the idea.

Maybe my little chat with Jacob really had done me more good than I realized.

As I crawled into my old bed I breathed in the comforting smell of home, plugged in my phone and texted Edward.

"Not gonna lie, I wish you were here. Hope you're sleeping well. Don't miss me too much;)" and I fell asleep smiling.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This chapter wasn't as long as I'd hoped but I felt this was a good place to end it. I'm going to update much sooner though so no worries. Sorry if this wasn't as exciting as you'd hoped!

So, I realized I'd made an error in my writing way back when. I accidentally said that Jake had moved with Quill when he, in fact, moved with Paul. Sorry for the confusion!

I know there was a lack of people other than Jake in this chapter but never fear, the others will return very soon.

I may have a little surprise for you all in the next day or two so keep an eye out for that!

Thanks to my wonderful friends who inspire and encourage my craziness. Thanks to all of you for reading and reviewing. TwiMama has the shout out in this one for being so awesome and reviewing every chapter I'd written all in like a day or two haha. You're awesome!

So much love goes out from me to you!!!!!


	11. Chapter 11: Distance Seems Terrible EPOV

**A/N: SO!!! Here I am, back again and it didn't take quite as long this time I don't think haha******** This chapter is the 'little something' that I was hoping to post last week but just could not get hashed out like I wanted. **

**I wont be doing this often I don't think. This fic is intended from Bella's POV, but it never hurts to hear where Edward's coming from, eh? BIG HUGE thanks goes out to Andrea and Jess for helping me get this thing moving along. You guys are wonderful. Another huge thanks goes out to all of you who have favorited and left me reviews. I apologize if I didn't get back to your review, I have been a complete scatter brain this week! But it was read and appreciated and you are loved. I PROMISE to reply to ALL of the reviews asap.**

**And now, without further ado, I do not own, though I'd cuddle one anyday;)**

EPOV!

The entire way to the train station after Bella's award worthy performance with her band tonight, I sat as close to her as I could without it being painfully obvious that I was trying to rub her scent from her arms onto my clothes so I could smell her and think of her while she was away. I breathed in the smell of her, sweat and adrenaline and strawberries and girl. It was painfully arousing and beautiful and the most eloquent scent in the world, and so much more satisfying than oxygen.

As she shifted in her seat and chattered with the rest of the group in the car I thought of the way her hair stuck to her cheek bones when she played her drums. The way the lights bounced from her wildly excited eyes and cast lovely shadows over her lips and collar bone. I had memorized the set of her jaw while she concentrated and lost herself in her music, and for one fleeting second, I hoped, my eyes. I know I'd lost myself completely in hers…

I tried not to blush at the fool I'd made of myself when I kissed the top of her head and felt her immediately stiffen. Kissing her though, was better than acting on the urge I was fighting to lick the sweat from the nape of her neck. Lucky for me, Embry had ripped her from my arms and into a hug before she noticed my blushing embarrassment at my ungentlemanly display.

I thought about how much I was going to miss her even for the couple of days she'd be away.

I also thought about the fact that we were _just friends_.

I was shaken, or rather nudged, away from my thoughts by an elbow to the ribs courtesy of the beautiful girl I'd been so thinking of. I looked down into her big brown playful eyes and couldn't help but smile at her.

"Have fun with your mom." I tried my hardest to be convincing, but I'm sure she saw right through my façade. Sometimes I swear she can see straight through my soul.

"I will, thanks. Don't worry, I'll be back before you even have time to miss me." She batted her eyes and giggled and I rolled my eyes and laughed, wishing I could kiss her goodbye.

_Just. Friends. _

I watched the way her hips swayed and her hair bounced along the bottoms of her shoulder blades and across the middle of her back as she strode down the steps of the train station and out of my line of sight. I had to keep myself from groaning aloud and pouting like a little baby over the fact that she was leaving for the next couple of days and I wasn't going with her.

I was being selfish and honestly wanting her to spend her days off this weekend curled up on t he floor with me rather than spending time with her mother. Granted, I was worried for her too. It made me uneasy to think of her taking a train all by herself all the way to Michigan City in the middle of the night. I know full well that Bella is a strong woman and she'd probably give me Hell about it if she knew I felt this way, but what if she were up against more than just one drunk bastard who had chugged his bottled courage and approached the beautiful girl who was sitting all alone with just her book bag and IPOD?

_I should have given her some pepper spray or a knife or something. _I thought to myself, angry for not thinking of the idea sooner.

"Yo, Bromeo! Cheer up! Your Juli-not-quite-yet will be home soon enough, don't cry!" Emmett taunted me and I punched the back of his seat and told him to eff off. That only caused the entire car to erupt in laughter, my own included.

"If you don't choose your words wisely, dear brother, you will be the one in tears, not me." I stated glaring at the reflection of Em's eyes through the rearview of the Jeep.

"I'm shakin' in my kicks, Eddie boy." He laughed and I rolled my eyes, reaching around the seat to pinch his nipple through his shirt earning the girly squeal I was hoping for, the swerve into the other lane that I was not, and an earful from Rosalie for nearly killing us.

I heard Alice's phone singing Bella's ringtone from the front seat and caught her mouthing the words 'oh my God.' to the screen. My heart dropped into my stomach once I noticed the worry painting Alice's features and watched her little fingers typing frantically over the keys. She shot a sideways glance at Rosalie and they seemed to be communicating silently. I wanted to jump across the seats and snatch Alice's phone away from her so I could find out what the Hell was going on with Bella and why they were so concerned.

Did she get hurt? Did someone do something to her? If someone even placed a finger on Bella I would make them wish they'd never been born!

"What's wrong?" I asked, leaning forward until my seatbelt caught and held me in place. I strained against its hold trying to peak between the seats to read Alice's phone screen. She tucked it away beside her and glanced wearily over her shoulder towards me and then back to Rose who shook her head slightly and pursed her lips.

"Nothing's wrong." Rose spat as she typed away on her cell phone and sent the message to whom I assumed was most likely Bella.

"It's girly business. No worries." Alice said, trying to lighten the mood and keep me in the dark. I was not pleased, not one bit.

"Did something happen to Bella? I know that you have Spencer Bell set as her ringtone, Alice. I also know what panic looks like when crossing a persons face and you could have been the poster child for it when she texted you. I'm not asking you to read me anything personal, but if something has happened to Bella I'd like to know." I said through gritted teeth.

Maybe I was overstepping boundaries by being so forward, Alice was one of Bella's oldest and closest friends after all, but just because I haven't been around as long that doesn't mean I don't care for her immensely.

I know too, that I definitely wasn't doing much to keep my true feelings from the world by being so outwardly protective, but at this point Bella's safety came first and if I had to I would surely make Emmett turn back around and take me to the station or chase that damn train down so that I could protect her.

Alice spun around in her seat and gave me a warm, reassuring smile.

"I'm not panicking, I'm fine, Edward, and so is Bella. Don't worry. I didn't mean to upset you it was just a text I didn't expect to get. Scouts honor, no one hurt her, she's not lost, and she's currently on her way home safely."

I nodded curtly and once Alice had turned back around in her seat I pulled my phone from my pocket to attempt sending a text to Bella. If they wouldn't tell me what was really going on, hopefully Bella would. I pressed my finger to the screen and cursed under my breath when nothing happened.

Of course I would forget to charge my phone and of course it would die when I needed to make sure Bella was safe the very most. I would be carrying a spare charger with me at all times from here on out.

_You sound like a psycho over-protective dad sometimes you know that, right?_ My inner-self sneered.

Jasper slapped a hand on my shoulder and gave me a quick smile.

"She's a big girl, Edward, and Rose and Alice aren't liars. If something were truly wrong, I'm sure they would tell us. Do you really think they'd be able to keep their cool if Bella was in some sort of grave danger?" he said quietly so only I could hear. Jasper always was a natural at bringing sense to a situation and calming me down. "Just plug your phone in when you get home and throw her a text. I'm sure she's fine, no need to fret." He smiled, patted my shoulder once and turned his attention out through his window.

I breathed in deep and let my head drop back against the seat. Jasper was right, I was probably over reacting, but I just felt so protective of Bella lately. She's my very best friend and though she's said very little about her past, I can tell that she's carrying secrets around with her that I really am hoping to get out of her. There is something or someone in her past that has caused her a great deal of pain and I hate it for her. Whatever or whomever it was better hope to God they never cross paths with me because I wouldn't hesitate to rip them apart. And I don't even want to consider the idea of anyone being able to cause her harm ever again.

Right now though, I needed to take Jasper's advice. The best thing I could do would be to relax and when I got back to the apartment just plug my phone in and send her a text. I'm sure she's fine.

I glanced back over at Jazz and smiled when I caught him staring quietly into the passenger side mirror at Alice. The guy was crazy about her whether he talked much about it or not. He always was one to keep his business to himself and not really talk much about his personal or love life, but it was very obvious that he was completely taken by Mary Alice.

I can't say that I don't completely understand the feeling, considering my heart seemed to be growing more and more attached to Bella as each second passed. It was perfect and amazing and exciting and oh so frustrating because I couldn't tell her how I felt. Not until I knew what was causing her to hold me at arms length. There were nights when we were together that she'd look at me like just maybe she could feel for me as I did for her, but it was like she'd fall asleep and wake up the next day and be so distant that I didn't feel like she even cared if I were around at all.

We stopped on our way back at IHOP to grab dinner and found Embry, James, and Quil sitting in a booth with a few girls and one other guy I'd never seen before. I wished Bella would have been here too. Luckily, we made it quick, ordering, eating, paying, and leaving without much dawdling. Everyone was pretty wiped by the time we headed back to the apartment and the Jeep was quiet. Alice had actually fallen asleep with her head resting against the passenger side window and Rose was nodding off here and there in the middle.

We pulled into the parking garage and I split. Trying to keep myself at a half way normal pace, I hurriedly walked up the stairs and once I was on our hall I sprinted for the door and went straight for my phone charger. I plugged my phone in next to the couch and plopped down turning the phone on and tapping my foot impatiently as I waited for it to boot up. The screen finally turned on and I checked the time. It was late, closer to 1 where she was and I debated not sending her anything in fear I'd wake her. But I had to know if she was okay and at least let her know I was thinking of her.

"I hope you made it back to Michigan safely. Text me if you can and let me know you're safe, the girls were acting funny and got me worried about you. If you're too busy though, I do understand. Sleep sweetly, Bella" I sent the text and paced the floor waiting to see if she'd reply.

It wasn't but maybe a minute later my phone buzzed and I ran over and snatched it up from the arm of the couch.

"Alas, I survived. Thank you for checking up on me. I'll text you soon. Sleep even sweeter, Edward."

I sighed with relief as I dropped, suddenly exhausted, to the couch with my phone clutched to my chest. Bella was safe, and sweet as ever, and I missed the Hell out of her already.

I didn't even heard Emmett and Jasper come in so I must have passed out quick for when I awoke the next morning the sun was peeking in through the shades of the living room and I was still sitting up on the couch with my phone clutched to my chest. I rubbed the back of my neck and stretched my feet out groaning from the stiffness in my joints and the discomfort of sleeping sitting up. My ankles and toes popped as I leaned over to untie my shoes and my phone fell from my chest to the floor. The screen was lit up and flashing '4 new texts'.

As I kicked off my shoes and lay down on the couch pulling the afghan mom had made for me for Christmas almost 11 years ago over me, I opened my inbox.

"We'll be up in a minute, I'm carrying Alice to bed. She's out like a fat kid in dodge ball." Was the first from Jasper.

"Hey sleeping broody, if you wake up cause I'm texting you, don't use your tooth brush I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. Love ya bro!" That was from Emmett. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. _Why the heck wouldn't you just throw the thing away then?_ I thought. At least he had the decency to let me know _before_ I brushed my teeth with it this time.

I shook my head and opened the next text.

"Looks like I'm going to be staying up here tonight. Go ahead and lock up." Jasper again. I chuckled to myself, feeling only slightly jealous that I wasn't curled up with Bella as he was with Alice.

"Good morning, sunshine! Hope you slept well last night. I have to admit, I do miss you haha. Off for breakfast with Mi Madre, hope you have a great day today! Love, Bella."

I sighed, and turned onto my back. It was only 6:30 in Chicago, and my body knew I was running on five hours of sleep, so as I drifted into my second round of slumber I made the decision to talk to Bella about things when she gets back. Eventually, I want her to be my girlfriend and I can only hope that she would want me too…


	12. Chapter 12: Thisaway! Thataway!

**A/N: hey everybody! Just wanted to say thank you again for the encouragement and the awesome reviews, you're all amazing! RL has been keeping me overly busy and I've had little time to really work on my fic(s). I apologize! I've realized too, that I kind of drag some things out and then don't spend enough time on other things. Hopefully I'm getting that under control, I do apologize. I hope to have the next chapter up again soon! Enough with the rambling, hope this chapter was worth the wait!**

**xxxxxxxxx**

"Mornin' baby." mom grinned as I stumbled groggily into the living room.

"Morning." my voice was thick with sleep as I turned my face to the clock we'd had hanging by the door since I was eight years old. It was 8:30 in the morning, way too early for me.

"I could have slept another four hours I think." I mumbled through sticky lips and morning breath.

"I'm sure you could have. You had one long night!" she chuckled as she poured herself a cup of coffee holding another mug towards me with an eyebrow raised in question. I nodded dumbly and walked into the kitchen, plopping down into one of the mismatched chairs at the kitchen table and squinting into the afternoon sun as it peeked in through the shades.

I shoved my hands into the pocket of my hoodie and smiled remembering the text message I'd gotten from Edward the night before. He'd been so concerned and so sweet. I pulled my phone out of my pocket as mom set down my cup of coffee and I thanked her as I stared at my screen.

"So, what do you want to do for breakfast? Wahoo's? Daybreak Cafe?" Mom asked as she sipped her coffee and crossed her plaid print pajama'd legs.

"Let's go to Wahoo's! I haven't been there in ages." I smiled as I bounced in my seat. I took a careful sip of my steaming cup of coffee and stood up to stretch.

"I'll go get dressed." I grinned taking my cup with me into the bedroom. I sent Edward a quick good morning text knowing he'd probably still be asleep, shoved my phone back into my pocket and took a long swallow of my coffee with a smile.

"Good morning, sunshine! Hope you slept well last night. I have to admit, I do miss you haha. Off for breakfast with Mi Madre, hope you have a great day today! Love, Bella" the text said. I hoped it wasn't too cheesy, and I especially hoped I hadn't woken him up.

I threw my hair up into a pony tail and decided to just slide into a pair of blue jeans and leave on the tank top I wore to bed. Wahoo's was a little less than ten miles from the house and it was a very casual little mom and pop diner that we frequented often when I was a kid. They had amazing omelets and bottomless coffee and my mouth was watering just thinking about it.

Breakfast was great, and so was catching up Renee. I laughed when she 'slyly' snatched my phone and responded to the good morning text message I got from Alice. Alice knew right away I wasn't the one texting back considering it took a good five minutes for mom to type 'goodmorningandshutthehellupalice.' with no spaces because mom couldn't figure out where the space key was. I giggled when Alice sassily responded with 'nomomyoushutthehellupandiloveyou.'

Renee paid our tab while I walked back and left the tip on the table and then joined her back at the car.

"So, this Edward character." She began as we climbed into the front of the van and buckled our seat belts. I internally rolled my eyes with a small groan but kept my features as calm as I could as I studied my fingernails and chewed the insides of my cheeks.

"Mmhmm." I murmured, acting uninterested in talking about this right now.

"What's he like?" she asked with a smile in her tone. She glanced at me with that bubbly excitement in her eyes that just made you want to tell her things. Her obvious eagerness to know my personal life was both irritating and heart warming. She knew all too well how to get to me too and I sighed with resignation knowing it would do me no good to try to dance around her questions.

"He's great, Mom." I said off handedly. "He's one of the best friends I've made in Chicago."

"I know that much." she laughed, looking at me from the corner of her eye as she pulled out of the parking lot. "But I mean, who is he? What's he into? What does he do? What is he like? Come on Bells! I need details here! I am your mother after all!" she was nearly bouncing in her seat. It was never any wonder why she and Alice got along as they did.

"Well, he's a musician, he student teaches, he's funny, he's smart, he's witty, he likes a lot of the same things that I do, and he's pretty much, well, gorgeous." I giggled and immediately my cheeks blushed their usual shade of pink. I braced myself for the squeal I knew was coming and sighed.

"You're blushing, Isabella." she reached over and pinched my cheek playfully as I jerked away from her fingers and scrunched my nose in disapproval.

"I am not." I lied, but it was all I could think to say even though it was painfully obvious that I was, in fact, blushing like it was my job. I turned my face to look out of the passenger side window in an attempt to secretly hide my cheeks until they decided to stop being such traitors and return to their natural shade of freckles and frost.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie! I'm happy that you're able to connect with so well and find someone other than Jake attractive. You two had quite a history, we both know that." I nodded without meeting her eyes.

"Baby really." she said softly, reaching over to pat the tops of my hands that I'd subconciously been twisting in my lap. "You have no clue how much I've hurt for you and prayed that you would be able to move past all the things you and Jake went through. I am beyond excited for your heart to be healing and moving on even if this Edward thing really is only a cute little crush." She was being all 'heart-felt-friendly-mom' and mushy and I couldn't help but smile.

I was surprised to feel the tears welling up in my eyes when hers met my own and I could see the relief and sympathy she had for me. She was witness to the pain I suffered and the crap that I'd been through over the past couple of years. I sniffed and cleared my throat trying to regain my composure before the dam burst and I became 'Isabella-tidal-wave-of-emotion-covered-in-snot-and-tears-and-blubbering-all-over-mom-like-an-idiot', which wouldn't be the first time I'd done just that.

"Yeah, thanks, Mom." I squeaked. "That really means a lot." Her eyes started to mist over too and I knew I had to do something to squash this way too girly mom and daughter moment.

"And I don't have a silly little crush on Edward, for the record." I rolled my eyes dramatically and swatted her shoulder with the back of my hand. She giggled and sniffed the tears back focusing her attention towards the road again.

"Then what would you call it? Because it's obvious you think of him as more than a friend." She raised her eyebrows with a smirk and I habitually chewed my bottom lip shrugging as I rubbed a loose thread from the pocket of my hoodie between my thumb and forefinger.

"He's special. He's very special and I really do care a lot about him." I nodded my head, realizing I was admitting this to myself as much as to my mother.

"Okay." Mom nodded her head.

"And yeah, okay fine. I totally want his body!" I slapped my hand over my mouth and giggled as my mother's wide eyes shifted to mine, her mouth agape in slight shock. Then we both began to laugh as she held one hand up from the steering wheel for me to high five.

I felt light and happy the rest of the weekend. Spending time with family and being back home in a relaxed state of mind was exactly what I needed. I wiped mom's cheeks with the sleeves of my sweatshirt as she kissed me goodbye and waved, teary eyed as I stepped onto the train and she climbed into the van to head back home. Once she was out of sight and I was settled into my seat I smiled to myself, excited about seeing Alice and Rose and Emmett and Jasper and of course, Edward again. My phone buzzed before we had even made it out South Bend.

"Are you on the train yet?" it was from Edward. I grinned.

"Nope. I missed my train by mere minutes.:( Wont be home now until tomorrow." I giggled once I hit send and had to try really hard to hold it together when the response came in less than fifteen seconds.

"Please tell me you're joking!"

"Of course I'm joking. Breathe, Edward! lol. I'll be home in a few hours:)"

"You can be so cruel, Isabella. 3 hrs? Get back here faster. We need to invent a just-as-cheap but ten-times-faster means of transportation between Chicago and South Bend."

I smiled widely and felt dumb when my heart skipped at the fact that he wanted me there sooner.

"Grappling hooks and zip lines?" I suggested.

"I was thinking more along the lines of teleportation device? Something similar to the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and their sweet little teleporting watches." I shook my head and typed back.

"I was just trying to be realistic here. I think grappling hooks will be easier to get a hold of than teleporting devices. I mean, people actually use zip lines in real life. Look how long people have been trying to teleport and it has yet to happen. Ya know, I'm starting to think you don't really want me to get back there faster after all." I teased.

"I'm rolling my eyes at you right now just so you're aware. And I'm hurt! How dare you doubt the fact that I want you back here as fast as possible:( I thought you would know me better than that by now!"

By now, my cheeks were nearly split open due to the size of my shit-eating-grin, I was sure of it.

"Silly boy, I do know you. I know you well enough to know just how to push your buttons;)" I hit send and nearly jumped out of my skin when the ticket collector set his hand on my shoulder. He chuckled and raised his eye brows at me. I blushed and apologized, mumbling and shuffling around in my bag for my ticket.

"No worries at all miss. It's not exactly a full train tonight." he smiled warmly and I looked up for the first time and realized that there were only two other people on the train. I found my ticket then and pulled it from the front pocket of my bag and handed it to him.

"You seem awfully happy tonight." he said with a grin as he punched the holes in my ticket stub and handed it back to me.

"Just excited to be going back home." I breathed, running a hand through my hair and smiling down at my phone.

"Boyfriend?"

"Excuse me?" I coughed, half surprised that he hadn't let it go at that and moved on to the next person.

"Sorry." he laughed. "it's just that most people don't glow like that if they're happy to simply be returning to family or something."

Glow? I was glowing? I touched my face with my fingers and looked up at the ticket collector knowing my facial expression screamed 'holy crow, i'm confused!'

"He must be a good man to have you so outwardly radiant." he said as he stepped away, leaving me with my mouth hanging open and no words forming in response. He chuckled and winked as he called over his shoulder "Enjoy your ride home!"

Xxxx

The train finally pulled into Millennium Station and I was more anxious than ever to get through the train doors and back into the arms of my friends. It was nice to go home and get out of the city so I could spend some much needed time with my mom, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited to get back to my life here.

As myself and the handful of other people who'd taken the train into the city walked through the crowd of people waiting to head out, I skipped around on my tip toes trying to peek over the heads of the people in front of me for a glimpse of Alice or Emmett or whoever decided to come in after me. So far nobody looked familiar and I was getting a little anxious. I got zero service in the tunnel so I couldn't call or text anyone to see what was going on. If they weren't in here I'd have to traipse up into the street and hang out until I got a hold of someone.

I pushed my way through the oncoming traffic and just as I'd passed through the glass doors into the station an arm caught my waist and I squeaked in response, eyes wide and heart pounding. I gasped as the other arm belonging to the boy who supposedly made me 'glow' followed suit and pulled me into his chest. I smiled and breathed in the smell of him, and sighed when I realized he was wearing Corduroy, my favorite cologne. It matched so well with his natural perfect smell and if it wouldn't have been creepy I'd have burried my face into his chest and stayed there all night just breathing in the wonderful aroma. I attempted to wrap my arms around Edward and return his hug and my bag slid down from my shoulder to the pit of my elbow. He stepped to the side to allow the passengers to get by and chuckling leaned his head down to speak to me.

"Did I startle you?" I shivered as his breath tickled my ear.

"A little." I admitted with a giggle.

He pulled me back just enough so he could look at my face and I nearly melted at the sight of the wide grin he seemed to have saved just for me.

"Forgive me?" he asked with a wink and all I could do was chew nervously on my bottom lip because somehow I'd allowed myself to get dragged into those gorgeous forest-like eyes of his and could no longer function like a normal human being. My breath caught in my chest when his thumb pressed against my bottom lip tugging it from the confines of my teeth. He blushed slightly as he dropped his hand and placed it back on the middle of my back with his other one.

"You shouldn't do that so much. What did your lips ever do to you that you feel the need to chew them to bits, Miss Bella?" His eyes smoldered and his giant smile became the slightly crooked grin I loved and I had to look away, blushing of course; always effing blushing, before I melted where I stood in his perfectly sculpted forearms and ruined his nice shoes. He chuckled again.

"You feeling okay?" he asked, loosening the hold he had on me and his face faltering slightly.

_Snap out of it Swan! Jeez! _I thought frantically and I managed a small nervous giggle.

"I'm fine, sorry just really happy to see you and really tired and my mind and my body aren't communicating properly so I'm having a hard time functioning like a normal human being and-" I took a deep breath as Edward pulled me closer again, shaking against me with laughter.

"Breathe, Bella." he laughed, repeating my words from earlier.

"Sorry." I murmured looking down embarrassed at my nervous rambling (and since when was I nervous and stuttery around Edward?) and tried to maneuver my bag back to my shoulder.

"Don't be sorry." he said rubbing my arm and taking my bag away from me. I opened my mouth to protest, but being the gentleman that he was, Edward shook his head and offered his arm. I watched his messy bronze hair as he shook his head and fought the urge to run my hand through it. With a smile and a sigh, I placed my hand in the crook of his elbos and decided to enjoy being seen on the arm of the beautiful creature beside me in the big city of Chicago. What girl would ever be upset with passersby mistaking her for Edward Cullen's girlfriend?

"So, did you have a nice trip?" he asked as we neared the top of the steps into the street.

"I did." I said looking around for Emmett's Jeep. "Did you drive?" I asked, not seeing Em's Jeep or Alice's Porsche.

"No, Emmett did. He's around the corner." Edward said leading me around the side of the building. He seemed to remember something as we neared the Jeep and he moaned, slapping a hand over his face and letting it drag down and over his mouth before he dropped his head.

"Just to warn you, Emmett has re-purchased an article of clothing that Jasper and I burned before we moved here because he gets really obnoxious when he wears it. He doesn't know we burned it so don't tell him, but I have a vendetta with Old Navy for bringing the damn things back this year."

"Wha?" I asked looking up at Edward with my eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"You'll see." he sighed. "He calls it his 'Lil' Wayne hoodie.'" He groaned opening the back door of the Jeep for me.

"Welcome baaaack!" Alice squealed from Jasper's lap in the front seat.

"Hey Bells!" He called from over her shoulder and I grinned.

Rose waved once, making a face at the wad of red gum in the palm of her hand.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming to get me!" I smiled, looking between Rose and Emmett and still not understanding what was going on.

Then Emmett turned in his seat, I got the full view and let out one loud gaffaw. He was sporting a black zip up with white trim and a big hood, a pair of 'ballin' sunglasses' as he so described them, and the first words out of his mouth as he turned were, and I quote, "I need a Win Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the V.I.P. section!"

All of that was humorus in itself, but when he cranked up his Lil Wayne CD and smiled at me, I lost it. I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to wet my pants and the entire back seat of Emmett's Jeep, which would not be good considering the company I was in. I understood now too the wad of gum in Rose's hand. Emmett had chewed up a bunch of Big Red gum, spit it into her hand, and then taken the foil wrappers and stuck them to his teeth as a make-shift grill. The insanity and suprises never stopped with him!

The entire way back to the apartment he tried to dance _and_ drive causing the Jeep to swerve around, which I was fine with considering it gave me an excuse to lean into Edward. In turn, Rose would freak out on him and try to snatch the wheel, Edward and Jasper did a lot of groaning and shaking their heads, and Alice and I laughed until our sides hurt. It felt so good to be back with them.

Once we were inside the apartment building Edward insisted on carrying my one bag up to our room. Though we both knew I could handle it, I was enjoying his company too much to tell him no. Alice and Jasper said their goodnights and I smiled as they exchanged a quick peck on the lips. It was adorable.

"This," Rose said disgustedly, holding out the wad of gum to Emmett. "belongs to you." she dropped the wad of gum into his hand and he made a grossed out face as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and gave her a side hug.

"Good night, Wayne." she said sarcastically, laughing lightly as she walked up ahead of Edward and I to our apartment. She and Alice went straight to the bathroom to get ready for bed and Edward and I stayed in the livingroom.

"Thanks." I yawned not realizing how sleepy I was until my shoes were off and I had time to just relax.

"No problem." Edward's entire demeanor changed as he set my bag down by the couch, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck and looking everywhere but at me.

"Bella-" he started and then stopped with a sigh. He was starting to make _me_ nervous.

"Edward." I said in return earning a smirk from him as he finally looked me in the face and dropped his hand from his neck, shoving it into his pocket.

"Do you think we could talk sometime?" he asked simply.

"Of course, Edward. We can talk anytime." I was slightly confused. I hope that I hadn't made him uncomfortable by telling him that I missed him the few times I did while I was away. Or maybe this has nothing to do with me. Maybe he wants some friendly advice about something. Oh no. What if he wants advice about a girl? What would I say to him? Could I make it not obvious that I somehow 'glow' when he's around because I maybe really have a crush on this guy who is my best friend and-

"Dinner? Tomorrow night? I kind of just want it to be the two of us." I stopped my obnoxious, tired, nervous internal debate and waited a beat too long to answer.

"I mean, if you'd rather not it's fine I just thought-"

"No, no! I'd love to. Dinner anywhere you want and all the conversation you need." I tried to make up for my lack of brain this evening and making things unnecessarily awkward between us. He was sweet enough to come find me in the train station, put up with Lil Emmett, carry my bag for me, and walk me to my door. The least I could do would be to hold it together and let him know I would actually enjoy dinner with my best friend. That smile lit his face and I grinned sleepily in response.

"You look exhausted, Bells. Go get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow." He placed his hands on my shoulders and I shivered in response, nodding as I noticed how heavy my eyes were becoming.

"Thank you for coming to get me tonight." I said as he dropped his hands and headed for the door. "I really did miss you, you know." I added, fiddling with my hands and showcasing more blush than Cover Girl. ®

Edward looked at his feet and then back at me and something crossed his facial features that made my heart skip.

"More than you know." He said lowly and he melted me one more time with those eyes and that smile as he shut the door leaving me sleepy and flustered in his wake. As I got ready for bed, my thoughts were filled with many things, my weekend with my mom, the happiness and comfort I felt being with my friends again, my awkward but freeing talk with Jake and the mystery envelope that was still tucked into my bag. I'd have to look at that _after_ my dinner with Edward, I didn't want anything to ruin my night tomorrow. As I drifted off to sleep I tried to imagine what dinner and our 'talk' would be about tomorrow and curled into a ball on my side to try to muffle the little butterflies that tried to keep me awake.

So much was happening right now in my life. So much that I wasn't even fully aware of...

**End notes: I had more written for this chapter, including part of the dinner/talk scene but this was a better place to cut it off sadly. It would have taken me twice as long I think to post if I'd waited until I get it all hashed out. Also, this chapter would have been ungodly in length. Forgive me. **

**Now I am off to watch more of the second season of Pushing Daisies and be totally jealous of vjgm, OCD_Indeed, and asheneyed for being at Twicon without me. **


	13. Chapter 13: Party Crashing

**A/N: Hides behind Emmett, cause he's big and he can protect me… It has been FOREVER! I have no real excuses. You can blame some of that on ****Everything Was Beautiful, And Nothing Hurt**** though cause that took some time away from me. But RL did too. I'm sorry. I hope I've made it up to you by posting over 8K this chapter! Thanks go out to sodeadlymistaken for being my amazing beta and to shamrockin for her fantastic stories and keeping me laughing and writing even when I felt like crying and vegging out. **

**Thanks too, to you readers. I promise to work on being better at updating. I love you all, dearly.**

The sun was hanging low in the sky and the wind sweeping off of the waterfront dragged my hair across my exposed shoulder blades causing me to shiver.

"You're cold." Edward sounded concerned, his forehead crinkling slightly as his eyes raked over the goose bumps rising up on my forearms and across the back of my neck.

"I'm fine." I insisted, smiling up at him, my breath catching at his closeness. I could smell the sweetness of his breath wafting over my face as I stared intently into his smoldering green eyes.

"Come here." The corner of his perfect lips curled up in a small smile as he unzipped his leather jacket and opened his arms for me to join him in its warmth.

I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around his solid torso, over his shirt and beneath the back of his jacket, moaning involuntarily as I was immediately met by heat and the smell of Edward that had become my most favorite scent. Grasping a hold of the back of Edward's grey t-shirt I nuzzled my face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and tucked me into his jacket for safe keeping; like I was a locket he wished to keep dangling from his neck and protected against his chest.

I looked back up at him as I realized he had stopped speaking. I opened my mouth to ask what it was he wanted to talk about, but was stunned into silence when Edward's skillful pianist fingers danced over the blushing flesh of my cheekbone.

"You're beautiful." He murmured simply and my heart began to race.

"So are you." I stumbled over my words, not even sounding half as sure and smooth as he had.

Edward slowly moved his other hand from the small of my back and took my face in his hands.

_Oh God. This is it. He's going to kiss me! _I thought nervously, as Edward slowly lowered his face to mine tilting his head to the side so as to have better access of my lips. I turned my face up to his, closing my eyes and taking a big deep breath. I could feel the skin of his mouth hovering over my own and squeezed my eyes tighter in anticipation of what was to come. Slowly I started to feel the warmth retreat and my forehead crinkle with confusion. Edward's soft murmurs and nervous breaths were drowned out by the sound of… a siren?

My eyes shot open suddenly and Edward's gorgeous face was replaced by the blinking face of my cell phone and instead of the soothing waves and the breeze coming off of the lake, the ceiling fan spun overhead and I was met by the annoying buzz of my alarm.

_It was only a dream. Damn._

I scowled at my phone, rolled onto my stomach and slammed the hammer of my fist into my pillow with a groan.

_Just when it was getting good too_! I thought with frustration.

I kicked my covers off and sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Good dream last night, Bells?" I gasped and turned my head in Alice's direction to see her sitting with her knees curled against her chest, a knowing grin spread over her sleepy features.

"I was talking…wasn't I?" I groaned dropping my head and slamming the heels of both hands into my eyes. Alice, Rose, and I may have known each other forever, but it never got any less embarrassing to sleep talk in front of them, especially when boys were concerned.

Alice giggled. "Maybe a little."

"What did I say?" I asked, letting my hands slip from my eyes and daring to peek over at the cheery little pixie beside me.

"Mostly it was jumbled and incoherent." She said thoughtfully. "But I definitely caught the words Edward, warm, beautiful, and kiss me."

From about my bellybutton to my scalp I could feel the heat scorching my skin with embarrassment.

"Oh Lord." I muttered, "Sorry Alice."

"Don't be embarrassed, silly girl." Alice giggled softly crawling down to my level and wrapping her arms around me in a quick hug. She hopped to her feet and stretched her arms above her head, reaching up onto her tip toes with a yawn.

"We all have dreams, Bells. Some of us are just more vocal about them than others." She winked and I swatted her legs laughing as she danced around to avoid my blow. With a wink and a smile she spun around and headed into the kitchen to make coffee.

I collapsed back onto my pillow and stared up at the ceiling fan spinning above my head. I heard Rose's covers shuffle and the muffled sound of her alarm buzzing beneath her pillow. With a moan, she shut the alarm off and curled her knees into her chest with no obvious intention of getting out of bed. I laughed and shook my head.

"Good morning, sunshine." I called up to her loft.

Nothing.

"Rose, you'd better get up and get moving or you're going to be late for work." I sat up and crawled out of bed deciding to take my own advice.

Still nothing.

I shrugged my shoulders and staggered into the living room deciding she would get up when she was good and ready. Grumpy Rose was not a force to be reckoned with so I'd let her get those few extra winks she was obviously planning to snatch before she got up for work.

The smell of coffee was now filling the apartment and I closed my eyes to breathe it in. I spent nearly every day surrounded by coffee and lattes and the constant smell of Starbucks, but I never got tired of the comforting aroma of coffee brewing in the morning.

"Smells to me like you should be the one working as a barista." I smiled as I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. Alice threw a grin over her shoulder and laughed.

"Not so much. I don't think I could handle the whole lattes, cappuccinos, frappe-whatevers. However, me, Bunn, and ground coffee do make a great team." she spun around with two coffee mugs in her possession, mine a forest green mug I bought on a recent shopping adventure with Alice and hers a big black mug with the outline of Texas in white across the front.

"Thanks." I smiled as I stuck the mug beneath my nose and inhaled deeply the warm smell of coffee and steam.

As Alice and I finished getting ready for our morning, Rosalie never moved a muscle. She lay curled up in her loft with the blankets tucked beneath her chin and her back to the rest of the room. Before I left for work I climbed up onto her ladder and gently shook her shoulder.

"Rose," I whispered carefully. "Alice and I are heading out. Are you going to work today?"

The only response I received was Rose jerking out from under my grasp and mumbling, "nn nnn." as she slightly shook her head. It wasn't like Rose to just not go to work. She was very responsible and no matter how sick she was, she never missed a day of work or school or anything else she dedicated herself to. The girl literally had to be on her death bed to not show up to something she felt an obligation to.

"Are you okay?" I asked concernedly, pushing my sleeve back and reaching around to place my wrist against her forehead. She didn't feel feverish that I could tell. Rose scooted away from me with an aggravated grumble and shoved my arm away.

"I'm fine." She groaned, pulling her covers over her head.

"Are you sure?" I asked in a whisper, trying not to push too much. This was just so unlike her.

"I said I'm fine. Go to work." She snapped sleepily.

Knowing I'd get nowhere with her right now I decided to leave her be and try to talk to her when she was more awake and less grumpy. With a sigh, I kissed her shoulder and jumped down to the floor.

"Call if you need anything." I called over my shoulder as I quietly closed the bedroom door and Alice and I headed for work.

Alice had time to take me to work today so I didn't have to wait for the bus. As we buckled in and pulled into traffic Alice wasted no time firing off questions.

"So, what the heck is wrong with Rosalie?" she demanded, sounding almost accusatory.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," I said, feeling a little miffed.

Alice's shoulders slumped and her little brow furrowed with concern and frustration.

"She's been so distant and moody lately. I mean, more moody than normal for her and it's starting to worry me. I tried to talk to her while you were back home but she snapped at me and then tried to play it off like she's just tired. I don't buy it." She seemed to be trying to piece everything together as she spoke and I listened, feeling just as worried as Alice looked.

"That _is_ weird," I mumbled, staring blankly through the windshield and at the back of the mini van ahead of us.

"I mean, she was so into Emmett whether she would admit it or not. I saw it in her eyes when she looked at him. I saw it in the way she walked when they were together. I heard it in the way she laughed when he said something funny." Alice sounded sad, and her hands began to tap eagerly on the steering wheel. "But anymore, she's pushing the kid away so hard I'm surprised he's even still trying to come around. The light in her eyes is gone. Her shoulders slump and she walks with her head down even when she's trying to wiggle her hips and make the world believe she's confident and sassy. Her laughter is hollow and empty and she almost seems upset when she's enjoying her self with us. Its like… she's trying to soak in each second we're all together, which is great that's how we should all live, but it's too…desperate. It makes her too sad. Something just isn't right."

I was taken slightly by surprise at the way Alice paid attention to detail. Granted, I shouldn't be considering she is so meticulous about things and she really does love Rose and I to death, but Ali had noticed things I never would have even thought about. I almost felt guilty for not picking up on Rose's behavioral traits so acutely.

I nodded and sighed. "You're right. I never thought of those things so closely, but you're right. I've definitely noticed how quiet she's gotten and how much she sleeps. Like this morning! I don't know if she was supposed to work today, I'm assuming yes, but the fact that she was so out of it and wouldn't even crawl out of bed to get ready, that's scary. Rose is always up and ready to go on time. She's a perfectionist." Now, I was really starting to worry the more Alice and I talked. We pulled up to a stop light and turned our faces to each other, both plastered with worry.

"We need to have a talk with her." Alice said with a firm nod.

"We do." I agreed. The rest of the drive was pretty quiet as we stewed over what to say to Rose and what could be wrong with her. The tension was thick and uncomfortable and I didn't like it. I had to spend the next 8 hours being friendly and happy with customers and the mood I was in wasn't going to make that an easy task.

"Speaking of 'talks', you and Edward are having one of those tonight over dinner, right?" Alice broke the thick silence in the car with a brilliant grin and the butterflies in my stomach made it churn and flop and I was once again on the verge of vomiting.

"Yeah. We are." I fiddled with the hem of my work shirt and bit down on my bottom lip staring into my lap as if it had asked me the question. I could feel Alice bouncing beside me with excitement.

"So what are you guys going to talk about? How much you loooove each other?" she giggled and I shot her a pointed look.

"No! He's not in love with me, geez!" I shook my head and Alice raised an eye brow at me.

"But _you're_ in love with _him_!" she laughed and I was suddenly red from head to foot.

"I didn't even say that, Alice! You're ridiculous!" I let my head drop back against the headrest of the Porsche and ran my hands over my face.

"I'm just teasing you, Bella." Alice's voice was still laced with amusement, but her words were softer and I knew she was being sincere. "I know you're still dealing with stuff, but it's so exciting to see you look at someone again the way you look at Edward. You come to life around Edward just like Rose did around Emmett. It makes me happy for you." She placed her hand on my knee and patted me softly.

"I have no idea what it is we're talking about. He's the one who asked if we could talk." I shrugged my shoulders trying to make it seem like I wasn't nervous.

"You have to fill me in when you two get back tonight. I want details!" she chirped, pulling onto the street where I worked.

"He probably just wants to know if I'll teach him some of my mad drumming skills." I said as I cracked my knuckles and pretended to polish my nails on my shirt. Alice pulled up to my store then and I leaned over to give her a hug.

"Thanks for the ride, pixie."

"Details, little girl." She reminded me as I climbed out of the car. I rolled my eyes and headed into work.

"Hey, rock star! Way to tell me that you had a gig this weekend!" Jessica scolded as I pulled my apron over my head and smoothed it down over my khakis.

"Yeah. It wasn't really that big of a deal." I covered. In reality, I purposely talked very little about the show knowing that Jess would probably love to tag along, but only to fawn over the boys.

"Not that big of a deal? I'm sure your cute neighbors were there, as well as a slew of other gorgeous boys with guitars! Am I right?" she squealed. Point and case…

"I was too worried about playing well to pay attention to the hotness level of the boys around me." I tried to joke with her. In all honesty, I didn't notice the 'cute' boys in the venue because there was one that outshone them all. He had green eyes and tousled hair and stood at the front of the stage and he kissed my forehead and gave me goosebumps and…

"Bella Swan you're blushing!" stupid, too observant, boy crazy, psycho little chatter box of a co-worker!

_Stupid, blushing, crushing-on-a-boy-who-is-way-out-of-your-league, idiot!_

"It's warm in here, isn't it?" I fanned myself as I spun around and headed for the backroom to pretend to look for something.

"So, did Edward show up?" She would follow me…

"Mmhmm." I bent over a box of whole bean coffee and dug through its contents absentmindedly.

"ohmygosh! You'd better tell me the next time you guys play if he's going to show up shaking his ass and sweating like the sexy piece of man that he is! Good God I just wanna run my hands-"

I stood up then and spun around with a bag of coffee in each hand.

"Jess! Please! That is not the reason to go hang out at a show!" I screeched, tossing my coffee filled hands about in big frustrated motions. "It's about the music. If you just want to 'hook up' with guys, go to a bar or a club or something. Besides, Edward isn't that kind of guy. He wouldn't just fall into the arms of some girl at a show who was showing too much skin and not enough class." I stomped past Jessica, feeling a little bit guilty for snapping at her like that, but I was tired of the way she spoke about Edward like he was just some big dumb jock who had no morals or values. It wasn't fair.

"Hey, just because I got it and I'm not afraid to flaunt it doesn't mean I'm not classy!" she squealed, catching up to me just as I made it to the register.

"Hi, can I help you?" I smiled, trying to give Jess the cold shoulder in a sense and wait on the guests that had just walked in.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned my head to see Jess, clearly still fuming, with her hands on her hips and a pout on her too-red lips. I rolled my eyes and jerked my head towards the guest in line.

"Later." I grumbled returning my attention where it belonged.

It had hardly been ten minutes before Jess' offensiveness at my insinuating her desperately trashy tendencies seemed to have not only blown over, but been forgotten completely. It was a bit of a relief because I didn't want to fight with her about the difference in being a lady and being a whore. On the other hand, listening to her ramble about boys was equally as irritating today. I had a lot on my mind and it was really hard for me to focus on much else. Something was wrong with Rose. I had a 'non-date' with Edward tonight. He may be asking me for advice on a girl. Or something. I was falling for him and he was obviously way out of my league. Jess wanted to jump his bones like they were the final hurdles in a race for a Gucci hand bag.

I. Want. To. Explode.

"So, I think Mike totally has a thing for me!" she was dancing around on her tiptoes with excitement, her face just inches from my own. Her entire face was lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh my _gawd_ he is SO hot! Like… delicious! And it's sooooo obvious he likes me, Bella."

Was this girl serious? She had just gone on some tangent about me not 'inviting her' to my show over the weekend so she could crawl up Edward and half of the other guys in town like a snake on an apple tree and now she's squealing in my ear like a little piglet about how much Mike likes her and how hot she thinks he is. A guy who was very obviously uninterested in her, yet, she was delusional enough to think he just might want to be her boyfriend. I shook my head and bit back a laugh. Maybe I was being harsh, but I was incredibly unaware that people this dense really truly existed outside of cheesy teen movies and class A high school cheerleading squads.

"Oh yeah?" I cocked an eye brown in her direction as I filled a guest's tumbler up with coffee. "What makes you say that?" I asked, lidding the cup and sliding it across the counter with a smile.

"Well, last night we closed together, you know, cause you were gone and stuff. He saw that I was heading over to wait for the bus and he totally offered me a ride home! I mean, granted, my place is totally on the way to his apartment, but still. He didn't have to do that. But he did!"

"That was sweet of him." I nodded and smiled. Maybe I should encourage her to pursue him. If she got wrapped up in trying to land Mike, maybe she'd keep her hands and other body parts away from Edward. "Did he kiss you goodnight?" Let the games begin!

"No," she jutted her bottom lip out in a full pout and crossed her arms. "But he did accidentally brush his hand against mine when we got in the car."

"Ooh. Subtle 'accidental' body contact. Smooth." I chuckled and Jess squealed with delight. This was too easy. I was being such horrible person. Poor… poor, Mike.

"I know, right?! He may think he's being slick, but I know the rules of the game. I've so got him pegged!" she giggled and then decided to do her job and help the guests coming in.

The rest of work went by without a hitch and as I pulled my apron off at 3 o'clock and headed for the door, my heart started to hammer in my chest. In a few short hours, Edward and I would be…wherever we'd be… talking about… what or whomever he wanted to talk about. I seriously think I'm going to be sick…

I hardly had time to step up to the bus stop when a blaring car horn nearly caused me to jump straight out of my skin. I looked around quickly, my hand thrown against my chest in an attempt to keep it from hammering out of my chest.

"Hey there, hot stuff." It was the sound of the thick raspy drawl that sent my skin into creepy crawly over drive. I narrowed my eyes, pissed off that this creep thought he had a right to call me anything besides my real name. He surely wasn't entitled to call me 'hot stuff'.

"James!" I snapped, fighting to reclaim my breath. "You scared the crap out of me!" I stepped back from the curb a bit as the window of his crappy little Omni crept down to reveal his smirking face. His hair was swept back into its signature greasy ponytail and he donned a pair of dark aviator sunglasses. It bothered me that I couldn't see his eyes. Shifting uneasily from foot to foot, I wrapped my arms around myself frustrated that I still could hardly stand being around the vocalist of my band.

"You just getting off work?" he asked, ignoring the frustrated honking from people having to dodge his little car idling in the turn lane and not bothering to apologize for scaring me. In fact, I think he enjoyed that he had.

"Yeah. What are you up to?" I asked trying to keep the conversation off of me.

"Just passing through, had to run to Guitar Center and pick up a new monster cable for my mic." He lifted the thick plastic package the held the wound up chord and shook it in my direction.

"Nice." I really didn't know what else to say. I was praying the bus would pull up behind him and force him out of its way and out of my comfort bubble.

"So, you got any plans tonight?"

"Actually yeah, I'm having dinner with Edward tonight." Praise the Lord for Edward Cullen!!!

James looked disappointed. The corner of his mouth twisted up into a disgusted smirk and then just as quickly, it smoothed back out.

"That guy your boyfriend?" he asked wringing his left hand over the top of his steering wheel and leaning a little further out of his driver's side window.

"Uhm… well, he uhm…"

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bus pulling up behind James caused both of us to startle and me to nearly jump from my skin for the second time in the last ten minutes.

"I should go!" I hurried, running over to the bus and waving at James as he flicked his head back in a frustrated farewell.

Plopping down on the bus seat, I snatched my phone from my bag and dialed Alice's number.

"Hey girl." She answered after the first ring.

"Hey. Have you talked to Rose at all?"

"No? What's the matter?" she asked sounding mildly worried.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if she'd gotten up and gone to work or if you'd heard anything from her."

"Nope, not a thing. Are you sure you're alright? You sound kind of shaken."

"I just had to run to catch the bus is all. I'm good." I semi- fibbed, deciding to leave the James story for later when Alice wasn't at work and we didn't have bigger things on our plates.

"Kay… well, I have to jet I have some stuff to take care of but once you get home either text or call and leave a message on my phone and let me know how Rosalie's doing." She said sounding as if she were already heading for whatever task she had to do.

"Will do. See you later tonight." I said, staring over the head of the little old man sitting across the isle from me and out of the bus window.

"Yep, love ya, bye." And with that she hung up. I slid my phone into my bag and with a heavy sigh, rested my head back against the window behind me. What a day, and it was hardly half over.

As I opened the door to the apartment, I slung my bag onto the couch and slowly dragged myself over to plop down in the recliner. My eyelids were heavy and I became very aware of just how tired I was. The events of today and the semi-stresses of tonight were all wearing down on me. Before I knew what was happening, I'd drifted off to sleep still in my work clothes.

I awoke with a start two hours after I'd crashed in the recliner.

"Shit!" I gasped looking down at my phone and realizing it was now closing in on six o'clock. I also had four text messages and two missed calls. One was a call from Alice and the other a call from Edward. Embry texted me about practice later in the week, Alice texted me to ask why I hadn't answered her phone call, Alice texted me again to ask why I didn't answer her last text, and Edward texted me to make sure I'd be ready by seven. I leapt from the chair and rushed into the bathroom to take a quick shower and try to get ready for me 'non-date' with Edward.

As I'd stepped out of the shower having washed and shaved in record time, I threw my hair up on top of my head in a towel like a turban. I dialed Edwards number, told him to come on up in about twenty –five minutes, and that I was sorry I'd missed his call because I was sleeping. He chuckled all cute-like and said he couldn't wait to see me. He asked if there was anywhere particular I'd liked to eat, but my stomach was already full of butterflies and nerves and some sort of rock I'd apparently swallowed after Edward asked me if we could go somewhere and talk.

After I'd hung up with Edward, I texted Alice my apologies for not answering her and sleeping through her call as well. I didn't hear back right away and was able to get my hair dried and my clothes on with about fifteen minutes to spare before Edward would be at the door. I was lightning fast tonight apparently. I paced the kitchen and wrung my hands feeling silly for getting nervous to hang out with one of the best friends I'd ever had.

Alice's ring sounded in my hand and I jumped and opened the text message.

"Its okay. How's Rose?"

Rose! Oh my gosh…. I'd been so caught up in my frantic rush to be ready for the evening that I hadn't even checked on her! What kind of person was I? I quickly dialed Rose's number assuming she had pulled herself out of bed and gone to work after we'd left since I hadn't seen or heard from her since I came home myself. I scrunched my nose up and turned my ear towards our bedroom door. The ringtone Rose had set up for me on her phone was playing softly from our bedroom. I crept over to the door and slowly pushed it open. As I stepped inside I peered up into Rose's loft and gasped. She'd hardly moved. The only parts of her body not covered by her blanket were her feet and her forehead. Her breathing was heavy and strained almost as if she were having trouble with the act.

Something was definitely not right.

"Rose?" I dashed up the length of her ladder and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Ahh!" she yelped scooting slowly away from me and turning her blood shot eyes towards me. She looked horrible.

"Rose, you look awful! Have you been crying?" I asked softly. Rose sniffed and sat up slowly, wincing as she did so. She placed her hand over her stomach and ground her teeth together looking more pissed off than sick.

"I'm just not feeling well, Bells. It's no big deal." She shrugged her shoulders lightly letting her head fall back against the wall.

"It doesn't look like this is 'no big deal', Rose." I placed my hand over hers as it rested against her abdomen. "Talk to me." I pleaded with my eyes.

We stared at each other for a long moment before Rose took in a deep, shaky breath. She pursed her lips and fought for composure.

"Don't you have a date with Edward here real soon?" she cocked an eyebrow at me, but the gesture was lost in her bloodshot eyes and fevered head. Granted, it did startle me into realizing that I had almost no time before I was going to have him knocking on the door and asking if I was ready to go, but I didn't want to leave Rose here alone in her condition. I had to know what was wrong. I shook my head lightly and sighed.

"I've got a good ten minutes before he'll be here. Besides, Edward can wait." I folded my arms and stared, waiting for her to start explaining. Not more than fifteen seconds passed when Edward's knuckles rapped lightly on the door. He's early. Of course! Rose relaxed her form a bit and waved her hand towards the living room.

"Your prince awaits, don't keep him standing outside like a fool." She tried to chuckle as she scooted slowly back under the blankets and turned her back on me. I didn't move at first, completely frustrated with her for refusing to tell me what the hell was going on.

"Rose, just freaking tell me what's going on and I'll leave you alone." I worked hard to unclench my jaws as she continued to treat me like a five year old and ignore my questions. She was still ignoring me, not even bothering to at least face my direction. I sat a minute longer waiting for some sort of response, but to no avail.

Finally, any worry I felt was eaten alive by my anger. If she was going to be stubborn and treat me like a child then fine. I wouldn't stick around and deal with that crap. I had a gorgeous boy standing outside my door waiting to take me on a non-date and I'm sure he wouldn't act like there was anything he didn't want to tell me because I couldn't handle it. He'd be open and honest and not chuckle and muss my hair and tell me to run along because whatever was going on with him would have to wait to be explained to me until I was older. I know Rose didn't say those words exactly but she didn't have to. Actions speak louder than words.

I hopped down from her bed still seething and stormed through the living room. I snatched my bag from the floor and ripped open the door to see Edward standing much closer than I'd anticipated. His eyes widened a bit and I squealed as I nearly slammed right into his chest. Well, what would have been his chest if a beautiful little bouquet of flowers wasn't placed politely in front of it. Edward's face reddened as he looked down at his feet sheepishly and then back up at me.

"I'm sorry, I tried to call you but you didn't answer your cell and I thought that maybe your phone died or you were finishing getting ready so I figured I'd come up and give these to you before they wilted. I guess I could've put them in a vase of water in the apartment but I just…" Seeing Edward stumble over his words immediately made me go from incredibly pissed off to feeling like a total jerk for not calming down before I opened the door. I shook my head and placed a finger over Edwards's lips. It was a natural reflex and the first thing that my body reacted to do to keep him from continuing his stammering apology. With a gasp, I pulled my hand back and blushed furiously not wanting to meet his frantic eyes.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I sighed "I'm not mad that you're early and I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone. I didn't hear it ring, I guess." I looked at his hands and the pretty little flowers in them as they trembled. Was he nervous? Did I look that irate? I could be so inconsiderate sometimes… "Oh, and uhm…the flowers are beautiful by the way." I looked at him and smiled. He was only ten minutes early. It's much better to be early than to be late so he shouldn't be worried about it. My smile faded a bit and I sighed. He cocked his head to the side and ran his thumb along the outside of my eye and over my cheekbone.

"You're upset." He said softly, his eyes now full of worry and question. My shoulders sagged and my eyes started to sting with tears. Swallowing back the frustrated sob that wanted to escape me, I shook my head and blinked the tears away.

"I'm fine." I smiled softly and Edward pulled me into a giant hug, smelling of cedar and spices and sweet clean man. It was instantly comforting and I breathed in the calmness that radiated from his pores. Once I was sure I was composed, I pushed away from him a little and reached back to take the flowers from his hands.

"Let me get these into some water before they die on me." I grinned, walking brusquely into the kitchen and filling the vase my mother put my graduation rose into when I finished high school. I set the flowers in the vase, inhaling the wonderful scent of lilacs and baby's-breath, and turned back for the living room trying to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

_What if the flowers are just a friendly gesture to soften the blow of him admitting his feelings for someone else? What if it's Jessica Stanley?! Has he ever even spoken to her? What if he somehow knows Lauren? She's really pretty…but she's a total bitch. Oh no…what if it's Rose?! What if that's why she won't talk to me and why she's been holed up all day? Is it because she feels so bad? I mean, for whatever reason she's completely pulling away from Emmett. Maybe it's because she's got feelings for Edward. He's not her type at all though. Isabella… you're letting the crazy seep out. Calm yourself down, woman!_

"Bella?" Edward's concerned voice drug me back from my psychotic mental debate and I looked at him apologetically.

"It's been a long day," I sighed. "I've been leaving the here and now behind to run around in La La Land today."

Edward placed his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. The intensity there made me nervous and I couldn't look him straight on. I dropped my head down, suddenly admiring the way the dark denim of his jeans hugged his legs in all of the right places. My eyes traced slowly upwards over the buttons of his white dress shirt and rested on the little extra triangle of skin I was allowed to peek at since the top one was undone. I shivered as I tore my eyes away from that spot that I found myself wanting to press my lips to suddenly and glanced at the gorgeous muscles of his forearms. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to the elbow allowing me a fantastic view of the two things that could bring me immediate comfort and manage to turn me on just by wrapping themselves around me. I heard Edward clear his throat and I forced my gaze to meet his.

"Are you sure you want to go out, tonight? We don't have to if you'd rather rest. We could order in and just hang out if you would rather talk some other time. I don't want to stress you out any more than you already are by dragging you out." I sensed the disappointment in his offer and the sincerity as well.

"No, let's go. I think it'll do me some good to get out of this apartment and spend some quality time with the most important man in my life." I giggled, shocked at my own forwardness. Edward's eyes brightened and he chuckled lowly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. He offered his arm to me then like the gentleman he is and I linked mine with his allowing him to lead me.

"Shall we?" he smiled as he opened the door and gestured with an open hand for me to step through. I simply nodded, not trusting my voice, as I felt the butterflies stir wildly in my stomach.

Xxxx

We sat down at our table in the quaint little diner and I tried to remain calm. The only obvious sign that I was anything but, was the way my palms were sweating and the fact that my leg wouldn't stop bouncing up and down like it was not my leg at all, but a jack hammer attached to my thigh. Oh, and the obnoxious chewing of my bottom lip that I couldn't seem to stop myself from doing. Edward ran his hands nervously through his hair every fifteen to twenty seconds and drummed his fingers on his knee cap as he leaned towards the table with his upper body. It made me feel bad to see him so wound up and I hoped to God it wasn't on my account.

"Relax." I said soothingly, reaching a shaky hand across the table to squeeze his bicep as he rested his elbow on the table cloth in preparation to run his fingers through his bronze tresses once again.

"I _am_ relaxed." He smiled, stilling the rhythmic tapping of his fingers and leaning back in his chair for effect. The gesture wasn't lost on me though as I noticed the prominent worry lines in his forehead and the nervous set of his jaw. I shook my head and sighed pulling my hand back to wipe the palm of it off on my napkin as I unfolded it and set it in my lap.

"You are not."

"Oh?" Edward cocked his head to the side and pushed his fingers through his hair once again.

"You can't put anything past me, Edward Cullen." I laughed. "You're as nervous as the day is long and don't even think about saying I'm wrong. If you weren't you wouldn't be drumming your fingers on your knee cap like you're impatient about something, or looking around and sighing to yourself. You especially wouldn't be plunging your fingers through your hair and anxiously licking your bottom lip every fifteen to twenty seconds either." I crossed my arms over my chest, pleased with myself for catching him off guard with my attention to detail.

"Have you really been watching me that closely?" Edward's mouth curved up into that sexy half grin that caused my knees to tremble and my heart to dance around inside of my rib cage.

I shrugged, trying to come off as relaxed and confident. I don't think the look really worked too well for me.

"Well, you're nervous too." Edward chuckled leaning closer to me. The way the light hit his cheek bones and showed off how brilliantly sculpted they were made me want to trace my fingers over his face and commit it's perfect structure to memory. "You've been chewing on your bottom lip like it deserves the punishment, your leg is shaking so hard its rattling the silverware inside of my napkin," he stated, reaching under the table to place his hand on my knee. Instantly my leg stilled but the shaky feeling shot up into my stomach and my chest and I gasped at the sensation. "And your hands are sweating so badly it left your finger prints on my shirt sleeve." He stated, glancing at the hardly noticeable damp finger marks on his sleeve. He chuckled brightly as he brought his eyes back to mine, locking his fingers together and setting them in front of himself on the table. He cocked and eyebrow at me just as our waitress walked up. I'd opened my mouth to shoot some cocky response back at him, but promptly slammed it shut when 'Laura', the tall glass of water who would be waiting on us began to ogle my boyf-uhm... best friend.

"Hi, I'm Laura and I'll be taking care of you two tonight! Oh! Is that a Rolex?" She stumbled through her introduction much like Jessica sometimes did and rudely reached down to clasp her slender, slimy fingers around Edward's wrist.

Looking a bit taken aback and rather uncomfortable, Edward, always having to be the gentleman, smiled sweetly as he politely drew his arm back and folded his hands in his lap.

"It is." He said, his eyes meeting mine and refusing to break their hold. "My father gave it to me as a graduation gift."

"Well, it's gorgeous! It really looks fantastic against the color of your skin and the muscles beneath those nice forearms you've been blessed with, dear!" Was this bitch serious? I know that Edward and I weren't on a 'date' technically (we're we?...) but still. She didn't know that! Yet, she had the audacity to hit on my could-be boyfriend right in front of me! Unless, it was just that obvious that we weren't 'together'… but regardless, even though we aren't a couple we're still friends going out to dinner and she was being rude as all get out. She needs to keep her hands and her fake compliments to herself and just do her job and leave. I'd had enough shady treatment from people today, I didn't need some girl I didn't even know treating me like crap too.

I cleared my throat. "Could I please have a glass of water?" I asked, sounding a little more irritated than I'd meant to. Laura's eyes shot from Edward to me and I watched her lips form a slightly annoyed pout before she nodded once and then focused on Edward again. As she opened her mouth to probably spit some other stupid compliment his way, Edward spoke first and she swallowed her words before they had the chance to tumble from her ditzy lips.

"I'll have the same. And a bottle of whatever your house red is, please?" he glanced at her briefly and then continued to practically stare a hole through my head. I couldn't help the victorious, saucy grin that crept up on my mouth as I stared back at Edward just as intently and leaned toward him, semi-marking the territory that wasn't really mine to mark. Laura spun on her heel with a 'humph', and internally, I was dancing around on the table and pumping my fists in the air to the sounds of "The Boy Is Mine."

"So," Edward began and I mentally stumbled from my victory dance on top of our table and back into real life. The smile slipped from my mouth as I remembered why we were here and the fact that Edward wanted to talk to me about something that was maybe very important, but at the very least cause for 'alone' time to discuss. I dropped my head and took a deep breath before I looked at Edward's face, almost scared of what I'd find there. What I saw was a mirror image of my own feelings; nerves and uncertainty.

"So…" I repeated, feeling my ears warming up.

"Two ice waters, and the house red." Lauren appeared out of nowhere carrying our drinks. She set Edwards beside him gently, but used a little more force than was necessary to set down mine. The water sloshed over the side, dripping down my glass and soaking a good portion of the table cloth on my end.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie!" she smiled, somehow glaring at me as she did so. She turned and hurriedly ran a napkin over the wet spot by my glass and then handed Edward the bottle of wine.

"What can I get you two this evening?" she once again had her back to me and I rolled my eyes at the back of her head.

_I wonder if we could hear her brain rattle around if she shook her head. _I thought sourly. _Would it sound just like… a marble in a tin can? Or more like a rain stick, like it was full of rice? Or maybe it would sound like one of those whistle tubes that you whip around your head and it sounds like a space ship is landing. This chick is a total space cadet so it works…_

"Ma'am? Ma'am, what can I get for you this evening?" Laura tapped her toe at me impatiently and I snapped myself out of my mental diss-Lauren's-absence-of-a-brain world. Edward scoffed and placed his fist against his mouth as if he were coughing to cover up his laugh. I started to think frantically realizing I hadn't even peeped at the menu.

"Do you have any specials tonight?" Oh yes, pulling the 'specials' card.

"Chicken fettuccini or mushroom ravioli." She stated flatly, tapping her pen against her order pad.

One time Renee and I went out for dinner and I'd gotten Chicken Fettuccini. It was a really nice restaurant so I expected this stuff to be great. Oh it was great going down but it did NOT feel or taste good coming back up. Food poisoning is the worst. I decided I'd play it safe.

"Mushroom Ravioli, please." I smiled, handing her my unopened menu. She snatched mine from my hand and as she took Edward's she made it a point to 'accidentally' run her fingers along the back of his hand seductively. I cringed and fought the urge to break each one of her fingers off, shuck them across the restaurant, and then offer her a high five.

As Laura sauntered away, shaking her hips a little too much, she shot a wink at Edward over her shoulder and I made a gagging noise as I glared at her retreating body. Edward laughed and rubbed my hand, causing the hairs to rise up on my arms and the tingling sensation to grow in the pit of my belly.

"What was that about?" he asked, seemingly amused. I shrugged again, rubbing my hand over my shoulder blade and chewing on my bottom lip, as I do whenever I'm nervous.

"Bitch was all over you, Edward. That's so rude. I know you're not my…my boyfriend… but still! We're here together and she's at work. She needs to be more professional." Really, I was trying very hard to be nonchalant about it all but I couldn't keep the frustrated quiver from my voice.

"Speaking of boyfriend-" Edward started, his grin becoming more uncomfortable as he spoke.

My breathing picked up and my palms started to sweat even more than before. Shit. He's going to tell me about…. Mystery woman? Rose? Whoever? I don't think I can do this.

"I-" my phone suddenly rang loudly with Alice's ringtone. I realized then that I'd forgotten to text her about Rose.

"Hold that thought?" I asked apologetically. "I forgot to call Alice and let her know how Rosalie was doing." I sighed. I was pissed that Rose treated me like a child before I left with Edward, but I should've remembered to at least tell Alice that she was okay.

Edward nodded and wrung his hands together.

"Hey, Ali! I'm so sorry I forgot to text you I just…wait…what?" My heart sank into my stomach and frightened tears pricked at my eyes. I was a frantic mess, suddenly not hungry or nervous or anything but adamant on getting into Edward's Volvo and speeding away from this restaurant like a bat out of Hell.

"I'll be right there Alice." I sputtered, clicking off my phone and standing up abruptly.

Edward's brow knitted together confused and worried as he stood up after me.

"What's going on?" he asked concerned. My head was spinning, my heart was racing, I could hardly focus on anything. The only thing I knew was that I had to get to the hospital. I had to get to Rose. I should have never left her when she was so obviously sick.

"Rose. Hospital. We have to go. Now!" The shocked tears broke free then and Edward hurried to my side, his keys already in hand as he tossed a $50 down on the table to cover our meals and the bottle of unopened wine.

"Let's go." He said kissing my head quickly and pulling me to his car by the hand.

I curled my knees into my chest and began to sob and pray as Edward bobbed and weaved through traffic. He reached over, patting my knee comfortingly.

"It's gonna be okay, Bella. It's gonne be okay." He said soothingly.

I could only hope that he was right…

Xxxxxxx

**So… I hope you don't hate me too much. I know ya'll probably wanted Edward to profess his undying love… but at the same time, its only chapter 13… ******** so there is much more to be written.**

**How many of you already have your tickets for New Moon? I'll be watching the 9 o'clock showing with my niece and bff, sodeadlymistaken at the Rave in Destin, FL before the midnight showing of New Moon. STOKED!! All of the clips coming out are making me so excited! Also, what is everyone doing for Halloween? Any good costume ideas? **

**Anyways, enough rambling. I love you all more than you know and reviews are more than welcome! For those of you who've put me on alert, I'd love to hear from you even if you've got negative feed back. I know this story isn't exactly flawless haha but its more fun for me than anything. An outlet if you will******

**Until next time, friends…**


	14. Chapter 14: The Waiting Game

So… it has been way too freaking long. I'm so sorry. I feel like something catastrophic always happens when I'm amped on getting the next chapter to this thing up. This time, it came in the form of me getting this thing done and the day I tried to post, my awesome piece of crap computer decided to catch some virus that prevented my clicking on ANYTHING or doing anything on it at all other than shutting it down. Thankfully, my dear Courtney came home from college this week for Spring Break and offered her lap top so I could FINALLY get this thing up. If any of you still give a crap, thanks for reading haha. I apologize for the bajillion year wait. I'll be getting my own computer back in a month (had to send it in to have it messed with. Ugh.) but if I can get ahold of a computer before then, I promise to have the next chapter up asap.

HUGE thank you to louloufrog for encouraging me and getting excited about my bad writing haha, shevanishedlikeadream for being the great beta she is, shamrockin for still being my muse even when we neglect our stories and then complain when our favorites don't update every week hahaha, Carmelinagunn for the exciting adventures she keeps me hanging onto and the excitement of my moving out to California so we can start our real life adventures come…"the end of this June?" .

HUGE thanks also to Jaspersvalentine for the sweet PM's while I was away, Jasperrose,and Twilightfan1 for being so awesome and keeping up with me too.

Without further ado, here is chapter 14! 3

xxxxxx

_I'll take care of you, oh, have faith that when you call my name I'll be there._

_So keep breathing, oh. Keep your heart beating. (I'll be right_

_there.)- Take Care: Copeland._

_xxxx_

Edward sped with precision through the early evening Chicago traffic and all of the vehicles were a muddy blur as we flew by. My nails scraped at my scalp as I dragged my fingers through my hair, hiccupping and sucking snot back into my sinuses. I was a sight to be seen I'm sure, but I just couldn't stop the tears from soaking my cheeks and my knees as I sobbed and prayed that Rose would pull out of this. She would be okay, she had to be. Edward's hand tangled comfortingly into the hair on the back of my head, his mouth pressedinto a hard line and his forehead creased with worry. If I hadn't been so upset, I would've probably felt the urge to jump into his lap and kiss him on the mouth and melt right  
there where I sat because he was just so sweet and caring and all around perfect.

"We're almost there. I'm going as quickly as I can, hon. I'm sorry." he murmured as he tore around the corner bringing the hospital into view. Wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my coat, I glanced up at Edward's hands as they gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles were white and the veins on the backs of his hands stood out all blue and pulsing. I covered his right hand with my left and looked up at his face as he pulled into the parking lot and threw the car into park.

His grip loosened and he dropped his hands into his lap and I pulled mine away self-consciously knowing that they were clammy and cool. I unbuckled my seat belt not allowing  
my eyes to leave his face because being able to keep myself focused on him somehow helped to calm me down. His weak smile was apologetic somehow as he stared back at  
me and he quickly kissed the side of my face before practically jumping from the car and running around to open my door. It was almost surprising how fast he moved and I blinked a few times trying to focusand will my body to pull itself out of the car.

Edward must've seen the look of helplessness on my face because he ducked his head and slid his arm between my back and the seat pulling me out of the car and steadying me as I stepped out onto the pavement.

"Let's go." He lead me to the door, my heart beating in my throat, my legs too numb to even register that I was moving and my brain running a thousand miles a minute. I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat as we emerged into the waiting room and were immediately met by Jasper and Alice. Jasper was rubbing Alice's back and Alice was fighting back tears as she picked nervously at the hem of her shirt. She looked utterly exhausted.

"Where's Rose?" my voice sounded hoarse and shaky. Alice glanced up quickly at Jasper and then back to me, her eyes bloodshot and careful.

"They're running some tests. She didn't want us back there. Emmett insisted and she put up a fight but he oddly enough got his way so he's back there with her and we're out here and I've been pacing and Jasper's been here with me the whole time but I'm about ready to pull my hair out and-"

Alice took a deep breath then and I flung myself at her wrapping my arms around her neck as her chatter turned to sobbing and the tears started to spill over my own eyelids.

"She's gonna be okay." I sounded stronger than I felt in that moment feeling Alice shake in my arms. "It's Rose. She's a fighter, you know."

I tried to keep myself composed, squeezing Alice's tiny frame as I sniffed back my tears and feeling her nod her head in agreement. Be strong, Swan. I mentally challenged myself, rubbing Alice's back and giving Jasper a watered down attempt at a smile. He nodded his head once, pursed his lips sadly, and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his Levis. Closing my eyes, I squeezed out the last few tears that lingered on my eye lids, and I could tell Jasper was shifting nervously from foot to foot as the sound of his boots clicking against the tile floor of the hospital waiting room sounded rom behind us. I cleared my throat and Alice sighed and the hair on the back of my neck and the tops of arms stood up as I felt Edward moving closer to us. I didn't even have to look behind myself to know.

As Alice pulled out of my grasp her shoulders slumped and I motioned for her to sit down. Edward closed the distance between us and placed his hands on the tops of my arms. "Relax." He soothed. It wasn't until he pressed down trying to separate my shoulders from my ears that I realized how truly tense I'd become. I shivered at his touch and took a deep breath and Edward lightly pushed me in Alice's direction and made me sit in the chair beside her that Jasper wasn't occupying. He in turn took the seat on my other side, running a hand through his hair as he hovered over me slightly, watching my face as I spoke.

"Do we know anything at all?" I asked carefully, turning my body towards Alice and reaching over to squeeze her hand. She shook her head slowly and stared down at her Mary Jane's, kicking the toe of her left foot against the floor as her leg swung back and forth nervously.

"She's been acting funny for a while now, very up and down mood wise and in and out of the doctor's office because of some weird stuff with her period but she'd been doing okay since you moved here and the guys came along so I thought everything was better. She went to the doctor the night she took you to band practice and she totally tried to play it off like she was feeling fine and was just going in for a routine check up but I could tell she didn't feel good when she left and then she came home and she was all moody and went right to bed and didn't get up for work… I shouldn't have brushed it off. I should've stayed home. I should've made sure she was okay."

Alice's tiny bottom lip began to quiver and I instantly felt horriblefor not knowing even half of what she was telling me about the pretty blonde girl who was practically my sister. I should've tried a little harder to crack through Rose's façade but instead I got angry and left her at home while I went out with Edward. What kind of friend was I? Much less of a friend than Alice was so I sure as Hell wasn't going to let her feel bad about all of this.

"Alice, stop. This isn't your fault! Rose was keeping this stuff from us and you know as well as I do how she gets, especially if she'sscared about something. She doesn't open up easily even now. How werewe supposed to know?" We needed to be strong right now and dwelling onhow guilty we felt wasn't going to help Rosalie get better and it wouldn't do anything to change the situation.

"So, did she call you? Or did you find her? Or…how?" the question tumbled out of my lips, all choppy and unfinished.

"I got home from work and she wasn't up in her loft. I figured she wasup and about and hopefully feeing better but when I walked into the bathroom to take a shower she was knelt down by the toilet throwing up and shaking so hard I could hear the seat clanging against the back of the toilet. I reached down and pulled her hair out of her face so she didn't vomit all over it and that's when I realized how overheated she was. Her fever was so high that even her hair was warm. "She paused, fighting to hold herself together, remembering the events of the evening as she spoke. "Bella, she was so weak she couldn't pull herself up and I'm too small to carry her on my own. I called Jasper and he and Emmett were there right away. Em carried her to the car and we got her here and they rushed her into the back and that's all I know." Alice's shoulders slumped and Jasper reached around her and pulled her into him. Her fingers grasped a hold of his shirt collar and he kissed the top of her head and I wanted Edward to hold me.

I turned so I was facing forward and stared down into my lap and I chewed my bottom lip and wondered when we'd hear what the hell was going on. Edward shifted in the seat beside me and sighed and I didn't want to look at his face and see him worry so I let him stare at the side of my head as I pretended not to notice. I closed my eyes and dropped my face into my hand and I jumped when Edward's arms wound around me and pulled me close to him. My eyes popped open surprised at the action and my I flipped my hands around so they palmed his chest. My eyes fixed on the one finger that touched the small patch of skin exposed by the undone buttons at the top of his shirt and my eyes met his for a fraction of a second before he placed his hand on the side of my head and pulled my face into his chest. There was something resembling uncertainty in his eyes as he looked down at me before I was forced to look away.

I inhaled the smell of him and the warm feeling of his arms around me and the way his breathing made my head rise and fall with his chest and in that moment I was grateful to feel some sort of peace in this anxious place.

"Thank you, Edward." I whispered.

"For what?" he asked sounding genuinely confused, the question rumbling through his chest and along the side of my face.

"For everything. The dinner we didn't get to eat, the wine we didn't get to drink, not being mad that our date was so abruptly cut short, driving out here to be with Rosalie," I paused then to take a big deep breath before I finished.

"Just.. . thank you for being here." It was almost a whisper and I was thankful to have been separated from his gaze because my cheeks were surely all cherry red blush and I didn't want him to think I was an idiot.

"Bella" my head rose significantly as he took in a big deep breath and let it out silently, trying his lips at words that didn't quite make any sound. I was still for a long moment, giving him time to collect this thoughts but wishing more than anything that I could just reach up and steal them from his head and know what it was he was trying to say.

Finally, he sighed and murmured, "I'm always going to be here for you." With a sigh, I closed my eyes and bit my tongue to keep from saying something inappropriate.

All was quiet for some immeasurable amount of time when the two giant double doors to our right flung open and the familiar heavy footsteps I'd grown so accustomed to hearing clomping up to our apartment from out in the hallway echoed through the room.

Emmett.

"Guys-"His voice was strained and made me anxious to open my eyes and turn to look at him for fear of what I'd see written all over his face.

Slowly, I turned toward him and gasped at his painfully exhausted expression. He looked worn and weathered as if he'd aged twenty years in the last twenty minutes. I was on my feet immediately but questions were flying from Alice's lips before I even had a chance to speak.

"Where's Rose? Is she okay? What's going on? She's alright isn't she?" Jasper wound his arm around Alice's waist and pulled her into him, subtly trying to keep her from smothering Emmett.

We all stared up at the big teddy bear of a man wringing his hands like a wet dishrag and frowning at his shoes all slumped over like Quasi Moto.

"They rushed her in for emergency surgery. I don't know what's going to happen." The floodgates opened again and I knew the tears were both from fear of the news and the helplessly defeated look evident in every inch of the man who had so quickly become a brother to me.

"They refused to let me go back with her. I fought tooth and nail but they sent me out."

As Alice sobbed into Jasper chest, he shushed her gently and rubbed her back, staring concernedly at Emmett.

"It's okay, man. There's not much you could have done back there anyway. Trust the doctors to take it from here. It wouldn't hurt for you to try to sit down and relax for a little while." Jazz offered. Emmett shook his head angrily turning his back on us as he slammed one of his massive fists into the heavy metal doors he'd just come out of.

"Emmett!" Edward spoke up finally and squeezing my shoulder he stepped around me to approach his brother. For a split second I was nervous knowing that someone as big as Em could do some damage if approached in such a heavy emotional state.

"Look, we're all scared and want to be back there with her but breaking your knuckles and the waiting room doors wont get you any closer to her. If anything, you'll get yourself kicked out of here and then what are you supposed to do? She needs you in one piece, bro."

Emmett's back was rigid and heaving and I cringed as Edward reached out to clasp a hand over his shoulder. To my surprise, instead of swinging a fist or trying to fight, Emmett sighed and dropped his head and spun around practically falling into Edward's arms in a heap of limbs and heavy sobs. It absolutely broke my heart.

"I don't know what to do, man. I've never felt… I just… she looks so weak and she's back there alone and I needed to be strong. I had to be strong for her…." Edward swallowed hard and held onto his bear of a brother and just let him cry.

This wasn't right. Emmett's not supposed to cry he's supposed to laugh and be happy and make stupid jokes. He was supposed to walk out of those doors with some kind of shit-eating grin plastered to his face and tell everyone that the joke was on us in the form of a booming "April Fools". I half expected/half hoped for something along the lines of 'ah, no biggie guys! It was just gas!' Something normal ridiculous Emmett was supposed to say.

I wrapped my arms around myself and shook my head, worried for Rosalie, heartbroken by the frightened boy in front of me, and feeling so much warmth toward Edward for knowing how to be there for the people he loved when they needed him most. It was a bittersweet and beautiful moment between two siblings, if only those tears were happy tears. If only the circumstances were different. If only it was maybe Em having his first kid or something, but not this, whatever this was.

He didn't cry long, but he cried hard and as he righted himself and patted Edward on the shoulder thanking him in some silent brotherly way for holding him together, Emmett wiped the snot from his face on his hoodie sleeve and plopped down in one of the chairs by the wall in the waiting room. I shuffled my feet and ducked my head and wished I could click my heels together and we'd all be back home and this would've been just a bad, bad dream.

"Let's go sit down and wait for the doctor to tell us something." Edward's warm deep breath was over my ear and I shuddered as he placed his arm around my shoulders and steered me toward the chairs by Emmett. As sweet as the gesture was, I didn't want to sit. I felt like I'd been sitting for hours and I just wanted to pace or go for a walk or line dance or something. Anything to keep my body and my mind moving elsewhere.

"I hate hospitals." I murmured, sniffling back the last of my tears. I'd felt like my tear ducts had run dry tonight finally and my sinuses ached from it.

"Yeah, I don't know anyone who really loves hospitals. Well… other than my father," Edward chuckled weakly and shook his head.

As he sat down again, Edward pulled me down beside him and my legs immediately began bouncing up and down like a couple of pogo sticks. I really didn't want to sit around and just wait. To be honest, I didn't know that I could handle it A good half hour had passed without any news about Rosalie and I looked over at Jasper who had Alice curled into a ball on his lap and noticed her eyes were closed. Either she was resting or she'd fallen asleep and Jasper and Emmett were speaking quietly to one another to keep from waking her. It was incredibly sweet.

Sighing, I dropped my head back against the wall and my stomach took that moment to humiliate me by growling viciously. I gasped and threw my hands over my stomach, pursing my lips. I'd almost forgotten that we hadn't been able to eat tonight.

"Someone's hungry." Edward smiled beside me. I shrugged my shoulders, looking down to hide my blushing cheeks from his gaze. He stood then, stretching his arms above his head. I lifted my eyes slightly and my heart began to race when his shirt rose up and exposed his perfectly flat stomach and the bronze colored happy trail that disappeared behind both his shirt and the waist of his pants.

_Delicious_. I thought, and then I blushed deeper at my own mental declaration.

Edward reached his hand down snapping me out of my mental state of appreciation of his glorious body and helped me up from my seat. I snorted at myself when my legs wobbled and Edward had to steady me by the elbow. I was never graceful.

"It looks as though you are in dire need of some nourishment." Edward raised his eyebrows at me. "And some water, your cheeks are flushed." He ran the backs of his fingers over my cheek bone and had to breathe in extra deep to keep from hyperventilating.

_Sorry, dear boy. But this has nothing to do with malnourishment. I'm __just, inconveniently, discovering how much I really AM attracted to __your gorgeous body, and your perfect smile, and those dazzling green __eyes, and the way you just know how to love people and…and I need to stop fantasizing about this boy and give him some sort of response before he decides I've gone actually gone mad._

I gave Edward a small smile and nodded my head. "Yeah, I could use some water." I choked, embarrassingly.

"I'm sure there's a café in here somewhere. Let's get you something to eat."

He caught Jazz's eye as he peeked over the top of my head to see if he or Emmett wanted something from the cafeteria. They both shook their heads but Jasper pointed at Alice motioning for us to bring something back for her because she was sure to need a little bit of something once she woke up.

As we walked away, the sounds of the random sitcoms on the waiting room televisions and quiet chatter disappeared and the only thing left making any sort of noise were our footsteps and the sound of my stomach growling.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to grab something decent to eat tonight." Edward started. "If you'd like I can run out and pick something up. I know hospital food isn't the greatest and I'm sure you were looking forward to Italian. There has to be an Olive Garden or something close by."

"No, no. That's okay. Whatever they have here is just fine. I'd rather you stay…" I stopped short. I wanted him to stay here with me. I didn't want to leave the hospital because with my luck, as soon as we were out of the parking lot they would come out and deliver whatever news they had for us. There was no way I was leaving now. But I also didn't want to sit here without him. And I didn't want to make a fool of myself by telling him all of this either. I still had no idea what or who he'd been wanting to talk to me about tonight and I wasn't about to make him feel too uncomfortable to tell me when circumstances were more appropriate for that conversation either.

_Since when did you become so attached to this kid?_

_Since I started being honest with myself…_

"Okay." His smile was small but relieved. "I just figured I'd offer."

He held out his arm for me to slip mine through and we took off in search of the cafeteria.

………………

We sat down on one of the long white cafeteria tables, both of us straddling the seat and facing one another, picking at the tray of food we shared. We'd found the cafeteria in the basement of the hospital after hearing another couple, both bleary eyed and looking uncomfortably exhausted, talking about getting food. We pretended we knew where we were going but really just followed them into the elevator and down the few short halls until the smells reminiscent of high school lunch hours flooded our nostrils. My stomach growled in response and I giggled sheepishly as Edward smiled down at me and began filling a try with fruit and sandwiches.

I was munching thoughtlessly on an apple as Edward chewed on a turkey sandwich, his eyes tired and strained and I wished I could press my thumb against the lines in the corners of his eyes and kiss the bridge of his nose and it would all be smooth and happy again.

"What a night, hm?" I sighed, spinning my apple in my fingers as I chewed.

"That it has been." Edward agreed.

"I really hope that she's okay. I mean, it's Rosalie. She's meaner than a junk yard dog. And strong as one too. I'm sure she's already dominating whatever it is that's trying to knock her down." I tried to laugh sincerely, but fell short. "I know she's going to beat this thing. She has to." I nearly whispered, sounding uncomfortably unsure.

Edward set his sandwich down and once again wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. It felt nice, us being this close. Edward smelled good and the rhythmic beat of his heart helped to calm my nerves, and the warmth of his skin left tingles all over my skin, it was completely intoxicating. I wondered if this is what it felt like when patients were given Morphine for their pain.

As his lips pressed against my temple, I sighed and set my apple down on our tray suddenly not as hungry as I thought.

"You're exactly right, you know. She will pull through." He said, sounding so confident that it almost shook the fear from my gut entirely.

"I'm just so antsy right now. I want to know what's going on. I wish the doctor would tell us something." I huffed, crossing my arms and rolling my head to the side so my cheek was pressed against Edward's sternum.

"Patience, Isabella. Remember, no news is good news." He squeezed me once and let me go, picking up his sandwich and tearing it in half, offering me the bigger half as he chewed off a piece of the crust. I smiled, happy that I had him here to keep me company and to miraculously steal the tension and anxiety from my body with a simple word or gesture.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while, picking at our food and simply waiting. I kept my mind on my dinner and the pretty boy beside me because if I thought about the beautiful girl under the knife behind those big doors and the look of anguish on the faces of my friends, I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

Sitting up from Edward's chest, my body felt cramped and stressed so I reached my arms up above my head, splaying my fingers toward the sky as if I could somehow reach up and out of the hospital roof and snatch ahold of the stars. My shoulders were tense and my arms were sore and it felt good to stretch the muscles out a little bit. The soft sound of Edward sighing brought my thoughts back to earth and I peeked at him from the corner of my eye only to see him staring at my waist with the hint of a smirk on his face. Feeling instantly self conscious I dropped my arms and felt my shirt slide back into place.

Apparently I'd shown a little skin. Awesome. Now the guy knows just how pale I really am. I snagged my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down trying to send the blood to flow there instead of into my cheekbones. The effort was useless though because it was then that my phone began to buzz immediately causing the color to drain from my face entirely.

I dug through my purse frantically in search of my phone, unable to locate it fast enough. Did the doctor come out with news while we were down here? What if Rose didn't make it out of surgery? What am I talking about? Of course she was going to make it out of surgery. Rose's time wasn't up, it couldn't be! She'd be walking out of here by tomorrow night I could almost feel it. It was Rosalie. If she wasn't sedated I'm sure she'd be trying to walk out of here right now. Oh gosh. Oh gosh…

Finally feeling the cool smooth back of the little rectangular phone, I ripped it from my purse sending my lip gloss, a couple of pennies, and my bus card flying across the table. Edward's hand reached out so fast I almost didn't see it, snagging both my chap stick and my bus card before they slid off of the table top.

The number flashing across my screen confused me at first and then I realized what tune was playing and became instantly frustrated. Gasping in gulps of air to slow my heart back to its normal pace, I clicked the green button to answer and stuck the phone to my ear. Edward stared at me intently and rested his hand on my knee to slow the bouncing it had begun without my knowledge.

"Quil?" Edward's shoulders relaxed a bit and he squeezed my thigh and then rested his hands back in his lap. I missed the warmth of his palm immediately and crossed my ankles as my legs broke out in goose flesh.

"Hey, Bells! Sorry, I know it's a little late but I wanted to let you know we got a last minute offer to play a show tomorrow night in Chinatown! One of the band's vocalists got strep throat and they had to drop off and since Embry knows one of the dudes that work there he offered the slot to us. We'd be opening but it's for a pretty big tour coming through and I really think that it'd be a good thing for us to do. Maybe it'll open a few doors for us, ya know? " His words were tumbling over each other so fast I hardly had a chance to breathe and he sounded so excited that I almost didn't want to interrupt with the bad news about Rose.

I sat silent for a few seconds, trying to decide what to say. Playing a show could be awesome and if it were with the right people it could snag us a few more decent connections. At the same time, I didn't think I could play a show and feel good about it while the state of Rose's health was so uncertain.

"Bells? You there?" I shook my head and sighed.

"Yeah. Sorry. That sounds great but uhm… Rose is in the hospital and we don't know if she's okay or not or what's going on and we're waiting for the doctor to give us some news on the surgery-"

"Holy Hell! Rosalie? Surgery? What happened?! Why didn't you say something?" he shrieked.

"I don't know what happened, Alice called and told me she was here. She's been feeling bad for a little while now but you know how she is, she tries to hide and deny anything that makes her seem weak. And I didn't tell you because you were talking so fast I didn't have time to interject, ass!" I defended myself.

"Wow. Right. Sorry… uhm… do you want me to come down there? Embry and I can be there in like fifteen minutes."

I almost wanted to chuckle. His intentions were sincere, and he and Rose got along well. They weren't super close and they didn't hang out one on one really but they'd known each other since before I joined the band and I knew he was genuinely worried for her. I also knew that Embry has had a thing for Rose since the day they'd met but he's too afraid of her to admit it to her face.

"How about I just give you a call when I know more details? If it's something…" I couldn't bring myself to think about this situation being life threatening so I veered away from that statement, swallowing against the scratchy lump in my throat and the sting in my sticky eyes. "… If it's serious enough I'll call and you two can come down. If not and she's able to come home tomorrow or is at least doing well enough that I can play that show with good conscience, I'll let you know."

"Sounds good, Swan. You sure you're okay?"

"Other than being worried and looking like I've just been beaten across the face with an ugly stick, yeah. I'm alright." Quil chuckled and I felt Edward's gaze snap to my face, his head shaking back and forth slowly. I turned my head to question him with my eyes but he'd already lowered his back to his lap.

"Alright, well…Keep me updated, ok?"

"Of course."

"Love you, kiddo. Hang in there!" Quil chirped and I smiled to myself, thankful for the thoughtfulness of the brothers in my band.

"Love you too. Thanks. See ya." I hung up and turned to Edward.

"A show? When?" Edward cocked an eyebrow at me in question.

"Uh yeah. Tomorrow night in Chinatown. I guess some band dropped off because their vocalist is too sick to play so we got offered the slot. But I don't want to run off and play a show if Rose is still here in the hospital." I sighed rubbing my hands over my knees. They were kind of chilly and my hands were clammy and I shivered.

Without saying a word, Edward shrugged out of his jacket and slid it around my shoulders. I smiled sheepishly and thanked him unable to break myself away from his gaze. He was so thoughtful and so loyal and understanding… and gorgeous… and possibly pining after another woman…

My stomach dropped thinking about the fact that I still didn't know what he wanted to say tonight. And then it dropped even lower when Alice's ring tone sounded from my phone. I snatched the phone again and answered.

"Alice-" I held my breath and Edward stood up collecting the few pennies I'd dropped to the table and putting everything back into my purse. He snatched the food we'd picked up for Alice and was ready to go back upstairs in seconds.

"Oh, hey Jasper. They did. We're on our way up." I was trembling and having trouble standing up as my knees knocked into the underside of the table. Edward's arms immediately wound around my waist and he helped me up from the table.

"She is…Oh gosh… Oh…" and I began to bawl again.

Edward took the phone from my hands and pulled me into his chest, rubbing my back. I wanted to tell him that I was crying from relief but I couldn't even talk. I was more than relieved at the news that Rose was alive and had made it out of surgery without a hitch. Granted, I still didn't know what was going on with her but just hearing Jasper say "She's going to be just fine. She's resting, but she came through surgery swimmingly." Nearly soaked me with relief and crying was all I could seem to do.

Edward sighed and it was heavy with his own relief. I could hear the low tenor of Jasper's voice buzzing through the phone and Edward squeezed me tightly, kissing my temple as I soaked his nice shirt with my tears. I'd make it a point to get it from him and wash out the stains from my mascara as soon as we got home.

"Good, good. We'll be right up. Thanks, Jazz." Edward stuck my phone into my purse and continued to hold me and rock me back and forth kissing my hair every so often as I collected myself.

"Okay," I sniffed finally, not really wanting to leave the sanctuary of his arms, but being desperate to get back upstairs with the group and hopefully into Rose's hospital room. "Let's go."

We entered the elevator and pushed the button for our floor. We shot up like a flash, Edward's jacket still around my shoulders and his arm around my waist and I'd thought I'd reached all extremes of my emotional range. But then Edward's mouth was at my ear and I gasped as he whispered, "By the way, Bella. You don't look at all like you've been hit by any sort of 'ugly stick'."

Shocked that he had paid enough attention to bring my silly remark to actually bring back up in conversation, I turned my face up to him and our noses so close it looked like he had one giant eye and had I not been so surprised by his previous statement I may have giggled. Edward's eyes seemed to soften and his mouth turned up into a sleepy half grin as he squeezed me just a little tighter. "Infact, even when you've been crying and your eyes are red and your cheeks are a little puffy, you're still beautiful."

I think my heart stopped. I couldn't do anything but stare at him, wide eyed and fish mouthed as I tried to think of something to say in response. I could have kissed him right then and there but I didn't. Instead, the elevator doors shot open then and Edward's face was suddenly a good foot away from mine. Alice was waiting at the doors, my face still stuck in a mask of shock and the moment lost in the bright hospital hallway.

"Lets go see our girl." Alice sighed, snatching me from Edward as we hurried off toward Rosalie and the answers everyone had been waiting for all night. And the answers that I hoped to get would continue to elude me, at least for tonight.

xxxx

There you have it! I hope it was worth the long wait. I swear the next wont take that long. Not unless something ridiculous happens and... my hands fall off or my computer is unfixable. I dont know.

I hope you all had happy holidays and that the weather is getting pretty for you as it is here in Florida:)

Jackson Rathbone's band, 100 Monkeys, is playing here in less than a month. This will be my 3rd time seeing his band. SO excited:)

love love love you all so much! God bless you guys 3


	15. Chapter 15: Incisions, Decisions

I suck. That's all you need to know lol.

this chapter is for: CNelson, Jasperrose, Jaspersvalentine, Candee-lilipop, & nikkyy for the reviews and PMs. And to MissJBacon & shevanishedlikeadream for the continuous love, support, and putting up with my crap all the time. I love you girls!

xxxxxx

We filed into Rose's room like foot soldiers into battle and gathered around her bed. The tension in the air was as thick as the relief we all felt at seeing our girl alive and surprisingly awake, but it made the atmosphere uncomfortable and awkward. The poor thing looked exhausted and distressed, her hair matted into a sloppy bun on the back of her neck and her face pale and covered in a sheen of sweat.

Alice squeezed my arm and slid around to sit carefully on the edge of Rose's bed, reaching up tentatively to brush a strand of sweat- soaked hair from her forehead.

"Rose… I'm so sorry… I-" she began, but was abruptly cut off.

"Don't. Don't you dare apologize. You didn't do a damn thing wrong, Al." Her voice was weaker than what we were used to coming from Rosalie, but still powerful and full of demand.

"I knew, though. I knew you weren't okay and I just ignored it because you refused to talk about it and I-"

"Seriously, Alice!" Rose snapped. Alice crossed her arms over her chest and dropped her head. "This has nothing to do with you. None of this is your fault. Stop blaming yourself for God's sake! You're not my mother! It isn't your job to watch over me and make sure I'm eating my veggies and brushing my teeth and telling you every time I have a tummy ache." Her words were cold but her eyes were full of fear and anguish.

"Rose, this isn't just some normal everyday stomach ache and Alice isn't trying to coddle you like a mother hen. We all love you and we're all worried about you," I tried at Alice's defense. By now, Alice had slowly stood up and moved back so she was wrapped in the comfort of Jasper's arms. I rocked back and forth on my feet, trying to resist the urge to curl into Edward for support.

Not giving Rose time to respond, Emmett stepped forward, sitting down on the edge of the mattress near her knees, and placed a massive hand over the two dainty ones she'd clasped together and placed in her lap.

"What happened?" he asked, placing his index finger under her chin to gingerly tip Rose's downcast face toward his pleading eyes. I cringed as Rose hesitated and then jerked away from Emmett's touch, staring once again into her lap, her brow knitted together and her mouth set in a hard line. Em let his hand fall slowly, the hurt on his face overshadowing everything else.

"I'd rather not discuss this right now," she said hoarsely.

"Well, it's not exactly our topic of choice either but this is what's happening right now. If I had a choice, I'd much rather you NOT be in a hospital bed straight out of surgery. I'd rather not spend hour after hour wondering if my best friend was going to come out of here alive. I'd rather not have had to cut my date- uhm… dinner with Edward short-" Edward's eyes flickered toward mine as I stumbled over my messy explanation and I blushed at the slip up of my words. Though thoroughly embarrassed, I mumbled on.

"So, as much as I love you and want you to be as comfortable and healthy as possible, you definitely owe us an explanation. We haven't worried about you and fretted over your well-being for this long to get no sort of explanation as to why." I stopped, staring at Rose's tired face, her mouth too tired to even attempt an irritated scowl. My breaths dragged and my pulse raced as the blood flowed angry under my skin.

Selfish.

She was quiet for a minute before sighing resignedly and then looking up at us, her mouth set in a firm line.

"This is kind of a personal issue, so I'd appreciate it if the guys would step out so I can talk to the women please." She sounded formal and robotic and I didn't like her tone of voice. Emmett's brow furrowed and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

"Rosie… you can talk to me. About anything and everything, I'll listen and I wont get grossed out or think any less of you. I swear." Emmett's voice was careful and something flickered across Rose's face briefly softening her features before she turned to stone again. She shook her head and stared down into her lap once more.

"No. This isn't something I'm comfortable talking about with you. So please step out of the room."

I watched Emmett's body and spirit completely deflate from the pupils of his eyes through his massive shoulders and down to the soles of his feet. Rose purposefully didn't glance in his direction even from her periphery and I wanted to stand them both up in the middle of the room and march around them until the walls Rose was building up between them came tumbling down like the city of Jericho.

With slow, dragging movements Emmett pulled himself up, his shoulders sagging forward in defeat. As he dragged his feet across the tile floor and towards the door, my eyes flickered to Rose's face in time to see the slight quiver in her bottom lip. She was playing tough, but her feelings for Emmett were obvious as was the fact that she felt bad for hurting him. Rose's gaze slipped to my concerned expression and hers hardened, frustrated that she'd been caught with her guard down.

I would get to the bottom of this.

Edward squeezed my shoulder and gave me a tight smile as he moved for the door, Jasper in tow.

"We'll be outside if you need anything," he murmured, and I nodded as I moved away from his warm hand and toward the cold shoulder Rose had turned to me.

The door clicked shut and the room grew quiet as a tomb. Alice stood with her arms crossed protectively over her chest on the other side of the hospital bed and I glanced at her and nodded when her eyes met mine. We both crawled in beside Rose, wrapping our arms around her rigid body and her eyes locked away from our faces.

"Alright, what's going on, Rose?" I asked softly into the thin fabric of her hospital gown. She said nothing for a long moment, but as we snuggled in closer, her body relaxed and she slid down so she was lying down between Alice and I, welcoming our arms as comfort.

"I'm sick," she started, her voice cracking. "And I've known about it for a while but I've been ignoring it because…"

She stopped, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat and I rubbed soothing circles across her arm letting her know we were here for her. She didn't have to do this alone. Alice leaned up and kissed Rose's cheek and Rose sighed, clearing her throat and pushing forward again.

"I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want anyone else to have to deal with it. I didn't want to look weak and I just thought that if I ignored it and I stayed strong it would go away. But obviously, I was wrong." She sniffed and I bit down on my bottom lip, reaching up to brush a stray tear from her cheek.

"I have PCOS," she said softly, and I wrinkled my forehead confused.

"Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome," Alice murmured in understanding.

"So, what does that mean?" I asked, feeling a little silly for not being on the up and up.

"For some people it's not near as bad," Rose started, speaking angrily through her clenched teeth. "But I have wonderful luck so, of course, my symptoms are horrible. I have cysts on my ovaries and I'm one of the few people it affects severely, hence the vomiting and fever and bullshit. It's also why my skin has been flaring up and my hair's been falling out like freaking bird feathers." She shook her head and ran her hands through her blonde locks, a few stray hairs collecting against her chest and her face nearly crumpling at the sight.

My stomach twisted when I noticed how thin Rosalie's hair really HAD gotten and the trail of blemishes cluttered up along her jaw line. Rose had always been picture-perfect to me, so I guess those things - since they didn't hinder her flawless beauty - went unnoticed. She was my best friend; I didn't really pay attention to people's flaws very often. I guess I should have been more observant.

"So…what does this mean in the long run? Do you have… are you… you're going to be fine, right?" I wasn't about to lose my best friend to something so absurd. It wasn't fair. Rosalie was a fighter and Alice and I, as well as the boys, would be right beside her through this.

"I'm not going to die, Bells." Rose laughed humorlessly. "Though, I think death would be much better than this," she muttered under her breath and I popped up from the bed beside her with alarm.

"Don't you _dare _say _anything _like that again, Rosalie Hale! Do you have any idea how much we all love you? Any clue as to what it would do to us if we lost you? What it would do to Emmett if you didn't pull through this?" I barked, suddenly furious with the sick stubborn girl beside me.

Rose scoffed and her face became grim.

"Emmett will move on, believe me. He hasn't known me that long."

"Jesus, Rose. Really?" Alice shrieked, obviously just as taken aback by Rose's negativity as I was. "You've got to be freaking kidding me. How would you feel if the tables were turned and it was me or Bella laying in this hospital bed instead of you? Would you really be okay with either one of us wishing we'd died?"

Rose quieted then, angry tears trickling down her flushed cheeks. Alice's words had obviously knocked some sense into her thick skull.

"He deserves better," she muttered, staring up at the ceiling. "He deserves someone he doesn't have to be careful with. Someone he doesn't have to take care of and worry about; someone who could one day give him a real family."

"What does that mean?" Alice and I both asked.

"It means that there's a good chance I wont be able to have children. They had to go in and do emergency surgery on my ovaries to remove two large cysts. They found a few more that looked as though they could potentially be cancerous. They're going to run some tests and I'll have to have surgery again. If the cysts _are _cancerous, then I'll have to have a hysterectomy. And because of all of this bull shit, I could easily never be able to have children." Rose's bottom lip trembled as she spoke, her cheeks now stained by her tears. She slapped her hands over her face and her shoulders shook the bed as she sobbed. My heart broke in two for the beautiful girl beside me.

"Rose… it's going to be okay. You're such a strong and beautiful woman. You're going to pull through this. I promise," I soothed, squeezing her wrist and sniffling against my own tears.

"It makes sense now why you've been pushing Emmett away so much lately. But I really think it'd be better for both of you if you were just honest and freakin' talked to him. He cares about you Rose. He's a big boy, he can handle this you know. And if you think for one second that he wouldn't be right beside you through all of this, then you've got another thing coming, my dear." Alice's tiny hands softly pulled through Rose's sweaty blonde locks as she spoke.

Rose shook her head vehemently and dropped her hands from her face.

"No. I refuse to put all this shit on him. I don't want him to know," she started.

"You really think we're going to be able to keep this from him? He'd flip out!" I asked.

"Do you really think I'm going to put myself through the shame and humiliation of telling him that I'm broken like that? That the parts of me that make me a real woman don't function correctly anymore? I'm saving myself the embarrassment and I'm saving Emmett the pity I'm sure he'd feel right before he decided to go after someone who was actually worth his time."

I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Rose so self-conscious, so unsure of herself, so… broken.

I opened my mouth to argue with her but Alice shot me a look that had me snapping my mouth shut again.

"I think you know that what you're saying and feeling right now is a total farce. Emmett cares a lot about you, we all do, and none of us would ever look at you any differently because of this. If anything, we'd just have more awe and respect for you because of the fact that you're such a strong woman and are fighting through this. There are options, Rosalie, and you don't even know that the cysts are cancerous. But I do understand that you're stressed out and you're upset and really, you need sleep. So, instead of arguing over this, Bella and I will let you get some rest, okay?" Alice reasoned.

Rose looked very suddenly like she could pass out at any second, I'm sure from both the stress of everything and the pain meds she was on. Instead of fighting with us any further, she slumped back under the covers without another word, pulled the blanket over her shoulders and closed her eyes. Alice and I slid from the bed and kissed her cheek.

As we both turned for the door, Rose called after us.

"Guys… please don't give him any details," she begged, her tired eyes glassy and pleading.

We exchanged loaded glances before I nodded.

"We'll leave that up to you, girl," I said, pulling Alice out into the waiting room as Rose sighed and fell asleep.

xxx

"So, she's not gonna die, yeah?" Embry asked as he rolled his cabinet from the trailer and out onto the sidewalk. The air was thick and rainclouds hovered above our heads, making me grimace at the idea of pushing our junk out of the venue and through the rain when we were done playing.

"No, she's not gonna die, goofball." I rolled my eyes and threw my kick drum bag over my shoulder. "She's going to be able to come home tomorrow night, I think. After she gets the results from the tests they ran." I snatched my kick pedal from the pavement and fell into step beside Embry toward the backdoor of the venue.

"Good. She's too pretty a girl to get offed before she's had time to live!" he exclaimed. I nodded solemnly, glancing behind my shoulder to make sure Quil was behind us with his equipment. "Besides, if she'd bit the dust, we couldn't play the show tonight. And that would be almost worse than death," he exclaimed, and I swung my kick pedal case around, slamming it into his chest. "Oof! I'm kidding, Bells, geez!" he gasped, rubbing his chest with his free hand.

"Too soon, douche bag," I snapped, stepping into the venue.

There wasn't much I could do for Rose at the hospital and I needed to get my mind off of things, so with Rose's insistence - she basically told me if I skipped out on the show she'd rip my ovaries out with her bare hands and then we'd _both_ never have children - I called Quil and let him know I was in for the gig.

Edward had driven me home. He'd run into Starbucks while I was with Rose and snagged me a soy pumpkin spice cappuccino because he's incredibly thoughtful like that. Though full of caffeine, it helped relax me and I slept like a baby considering my nerves were wound tight and my heart was in a bit of a tangled mess.

Jess had randomly called me this morning to see how Rose was doing. Considering she didn't know Rose, that I could recall, it was a little weird she was so concerned but it was nice to chat with someone outside of the immediate situation. I even invited her to the show, gritting my teeth in hopes she'd decline as soon as the words left my mouth. Thankfully, she couldn't make it out but that invitation alone had her planning on coming to the next gig and trying to get me to help her figure out what she was going to wear.

That girl.

I hadn't seen or heard a thing from Edward all day. He had made mention of having something to do tonight so he couldn't make the show, so maybe he'd gotten an early start on his errands.

I honestly didn't want to think about what or _who_ he had to do. We still hadn't been able to have our talk, and my tired busy mind was creating the worst scenarios.

"We've got, like, twenty minutes to get our crap set up and stretch before we play." James' scratchy voice rang out through the noise as we dropped our gear into the back stage area. He slammed the rest of whatever he was drinking and stumbled back towards the bar. I shook my head and shot a loaded glance at Quil. James really needed to stop getting hammered at shows. Quil shrugged apologetically and continued with his equipment.

I nodded and finished setting up all of my hardware as the band before us played through the rest of their set. My mind was focused on my tasks and the music and people around me and before long, I was bouncing on my toes with excitement over getting back up on the stage.

"Good luck, Swan. Knock em dead!" Sam's booming voice rose over the noise in the building and I squealed with excitement, throwing myself up and into my "brother's" massive arms.

"What are you doing here?" I cried, so excited I was shaking with it.

"Why else would I be here, little one?" He chuckled and I laughed, burying my face in his shoulder as he spun me around and then set me back on my feet.

"Five minutes and counting," Quil shouted, high-fiving Sam as he clapped Embry over the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd.

Our set was nearly flawless and the crowd really got into it. My heart soared with my hands and feet as the sweat sprayed from my hair down over my snare and the length of my kick drum. Alice and Jasper were able to show up and they stood at the front of the stage, Jasper's hands gripping Alice's hips as she wriggled and thrashed to the music. It made me wish Edward was beside them, smiling up at me from the crowd and dancing along to the rhythm I threw at him.

The show was over as soon as it started and before long, the hum of stragglers chit-chatting in the corners of the dirty building melded into the music playing over the loud speakers and we finished getting things ready for load out. Luckily, the rain had held off so far, but the rumble of thunder in the distance suggested that we had a limited amount of time to get our things into the trailer without getting dumped on.

"I got this one, Swan." Sam smiled, tugging my snare bag from my hand and lugging my hardware case through the door at a jog, leading the way to the van.

"Thanks, Sam!" I called as his form disappeared into the night. The rest of us followed suit at a comfortable, tired walk out into the dark and dreary city night.

Alice chattered excitedly beside me with Embry, Jasper, and Quil about how well we'd done and the response from the crowd. I listened quietly and focused on my feet hitting the pavement while I walked. I was exhausted. My eyelids were heavy and my shoulders ached and I was covered in sweat and all I wanted in life was a shower and my bed.

Beyond all of that though, I was happy. It felt good to release some of the stress from the past couple of days through my music and to just laugh, dance, and have fun with my friends. It was a much needed release.

"You doin' okay there, Cheeks?" James purred in my ear causing me to jump and stumble over my own feet. I grimaced at the awkward nick name he'd given me.

"Cheeks?"

"Would you rather I call you sweet cheeks?" He asked, his mouth curling up all cocky and cat-like as he placed a cigarette between his dry cracked lips.

"I'd rather you call me, Bella," I stated flatly.

"You know, _Bella,___you're sexy when you're trying to be assertive," he moaned so only I could hear. I shuddered and stepped away from him and closer to Alice's side. I was in no mood to have the vocalist of my band being all flirty and disgusting with me.

"I'm not trying to be sexy. I'm serious," I hissed, shifting my kick drum on my shoulder.

"That's the best part. You don't even have to try and you're sexy." His eyes danced and his lips twitched and the smoke and alcohol staining his breath made me want to gag. I stopped in my tracks and glared at James, Alice and the rest of our little group continuing on without us chattering a million miles a minute.

I wanted to slap the kid. I wanted to tell him that I thought he was a total creep and that he needed to stop talking to me like a cheap piece and have some friggin respect. I wanted to scream and stamp my feet like a baby and I knew that part of it was due to stress, but dang it, this guy could be awful!

But of course instead of doing any of that, I just stood there, eyes narrowed and breaths coming out in shallow nervous huffs.

"Bellaaaa," James grinned, all sing-song drunk and sarcastic. He stepped forward and placed his calloused fingers beneath my chin. They smelled like dirt and nicotine and tequila. "lighten up, cheeks. You are waaaaaay too tense." He chuckled, letting his cigarette linger on his lips so he could place both of his hands on either side of my face and use his thumbs to massage the sides of my neck.

Gross. Gross. GROSS!

From an outside perspective, this scene could be taken as hot and flirtatious. James was calm and teasing, his hands resting lightly on my face and my expression obscured from view of any passers by. In reality, his fingers held my face forcefully to the point I was nervous there'd be bruises on my cheeks when he was through. My voice eluded me and my eyes became wide with nervous anticipation.

The rest of the band, Alice and Jasper included, had already rounded the bend and were out of earshot back at the van. Perfect.

James spun around, my head still wedged between his strong, filthy hands, and pressed my back into the wall of the small alley I'd so conveniently stopped us near. I was good at putting myself into bad situations. Suddenly, I wasn't angry or feeling snotty or fierce. I was terrified.

"James-" I started, my voice shaking on his name but he moved in, placing his cigarette between his index and middle fingers again, his lips so close to my own I could almost taste the alcohol that had seeped into the cracks of his mouth.

"Isabella… just... relax," he groaned, as he inched closer and closer, his upper lip grazing over my top lip and his sickening breath wafting over my face.

"James… Don't!" I growled and finally, the fight or flight in me burst forth as the clouds above us opened up and suddenly I was being dragged from the alley into the pouring rain.

Nothing made sense. My head was spinning and I was falling? Or twirling? Warm arms pulled at me and then I was blinking furiously through the downpour, a tall figure crouched protectively in front of me, his left arm pressed against my side. He was yelling furiously but I couldn't hear what he was saying, the rain pounding deafeningly around me making it hard to hear.

Then, it all made sense…sort of.

Edward's back heaved viciously as he seethed at James, who had his cigarette hanging lazily from his vile mouth once again. I reached out to place a calming hand on Edward's shoulder but suddenly he was lunging at James, pinning him against the wall of the alley where I was just being held captive. I wanted to scream at him to stop. The last thing we needed was a scene or for Edward to end up A. hurt or B. in jail.

His hands gripped James' shoulders so hard I thought his fingernails might tear through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. He pushed against him with authority, his face mere inches from James' face, as he snarled and spat at him like a rabid dog. It was terrifying seeing such an easygoing guy get so riled up. And, if I was being honest, it was actually kind of hot. Edward was… protecting me?

"Edward, what the hell? Oh! Bella! Are you alright?" I turned abruptly, my eyes popping impossibly wider at the sound of Jessica's voice. She stood beside me, a big red umbrella shielding her from the storm raging over head. Her high heels made her legs look five miles long and her mini skirt hardly covered the panties she may or may not be wearing considering her semi-trashy outfit for the night. My mouth opened and closed, words fighting to come out but making no sort of sound. I was sure I looked retarded as hell, but the shock factor wasn't wearing off fast enough for me to recover.

I thought Edward had something he had to do tonight? Jessica wasn't supposed to have been able to make it out either. Did they come here together? Why did they show up _after _the show? How did they even _know _one another? How the heck did Edward find me?

Breathe, Bella. Focus.

"W-What are you doing here, Jess?" It was the only thing that came to mind.

"I got off work early and Edward and I-"

Edward and _I. _They _were _together. After those three little words I lost focus from her face and peered over her shoulder at the advancing bodies of Alice and Sam.

"Bella!" I could make out Sam's lips forming my name but it was still raining too hard for me to hear what he was saying from as far away as he was. His face was lit up with excitement as he ran towards us, and then his features shifted to confusion as Edward stumbled back out of the alley, James' fist just barely missing his right cheekbone.

Edward quickly rolled up his sopping wet shirt sleeves, exposing his beautiful forearms and the veins that stood out, pulsing with adrenaline from under his skin. I was momentarily distracted from the chaos ensuing in front of me by his simple beauty. Then my heart wrenched as I remembered that Jessica and Edward were here. _Together?_

Could this week get any more out of control?

"If you… again… dead!" was all I made out of Edward's seething. Then his fist was connecting with James' mouth, sending his cigarette flying from his lips and into a giant puddle of rain water welling up along the wall of the building. Blood spattered down James' chin and pooled up against his teeth and then the world was spinning again and my stomach was churning.

_Stupid, weak-stomached, little wuss._

"Whoa there, girl!" Alice was beside me in an instant, helping to steady my woozy condition. "Don't look, okay?" She pulled my face around to look at hers.

Sam came barreling through the few of us standing awkwardly askew the sidewalk and stepped between Edward and James. He stood a good foot above both men, his bulging biceps rippling with the effort of keeping the two guys from pummeling each other.

I glanced over my shoulder again as James wiped a streak of blood onto his bare forearm and Alice jerked my head back around.

"Hey! Over here, sunshine," she chided, her voice stern and her eyes serious. "Breathe. Don't look at them, focus on me, okay?" she insisted, slowly pulling me toward the approaching van as Jasper drove up. Quil and Embry rounded the corner then, excitement radiating off of them in waves as they bounced around me, seemingly unaware of the scuffle that was going on beside us.

"Help me think about something else. Please," I begged Alice. My words were pinched and I held my breath in an effort to keep from vomiting or passing out. The part of my brain that wasn't flipping out at the sight of blood was flipping out at the idea of Edward getting hurt. I wanted to hug him, to calm him down, to make sure he was okay. I was totally torn. I glanced back again and tried to find Edward without looking at James.

There he was; one of Sam's massive hands wrapped into the collar of his shirt as Edward glared around Sam's large frame at James. James was pressed against the wall by Sam's other hand and Sam was barking out orders at him of some sort. Edward was fine; pissed, but unscathed from what I could tell. James, however, was still a bloody mess and the rain water only made the blood on his face look worse. I reeled again and Alice jerked me away from the scene.

"Well… these guys have some incredible news! But I can't be the one to tell you so… how about you get in the van and when Hercules over there is finished breaking up the boy squabble going on, we can get down to business?" She was trying to be humorous but I couldn't find it in me to laugh. Instead, I let her pull me numbly into the van. I sat down on the center bench seat and thrust my head between my legs, gasping heavily against the wet, stale air.

"What the hell happened?"

"We got a label offer!"

Both sentences came out in a rush and I raised my head to look at both Quil and Embry as they practically dove over one another to get inside of the van.

We could talk about the stupid freakin' _scene_ later. My attention was suddenly very focused on the happier news.

"A label offer?" I gasped.

"Yeah!" Embry was bouncing in his seat, his eyes brilliant with excitement and the zipper on his hoodie jingling against his key chain as he shook. "The guy said James had a really unique voice and stage presence and that he really drove the band well. And having such fluid guitarists and a girl drummer who could actually out-drum half the men in Chicago, we had the whole package! He wants us to record a two song demo and send it into him this week and then talk about recording a full length and possibly doing a month long tour!"

My head was reeling. On the one hand, this was exactly what we'd wanted. On the other hand, this meant I couldn't ruin James' good name in the band. We couldn't afford to lose him when everything we'd worked so hard for over the years was within our grasp.

Dammit.

I mean… maybe I'd over reacted? Yeah, he was being too aggressive and touchy, but he was also really drunk and stupid. I could brush this off if I had to, right? I could… I could just insist we have a no drinking rule when it comes to shows. Would I feel comfortable sticking this out with him? Could I really be in a band with a guy that had just tried to… well… whatever he'd just done?

"Are you okay, Bella? What the hell is going on?" Alice whispered. I shook my head.

"I don't know. I don't have a clue." I placed my hands in my hair and tugged, squeezing my eyes shut. "It was just a big stupid… I don't even know. God. Make sure they're okay, okay?" I had to get the focus off of me. I had some big decisions to make and I couldn't risk destroying the band by trying to talk through this sudden dilemma with my band mates sitting beside me.

Alice crawled into the passenger's seat of the van, a quiet exchange passing between she and Jasper. He looked back at me briefly before nodding, offering me a comforting smile, and then heading out into the rain.

Jess poked her head inside of the van then, her giant umbrella hiding the outside world from view.

"I'm gonna drive Edward home. Jasper is going to lead the way and Sam is going to take James back. I'm so sorry, Bella. I-"

"Thank you, Jess." I stopped her apology. _She_ was taking Edward home. _Was she the one Edward had eyes for? How did they even meet? _Tears stung my eyes and I looked away from Jess' face. "I'll see you at work," I stated flatly, climbing over the middle compartment and into the passenger seat.

"Driver, no battles!" Quil called as Alice flipped him off and started the van. I chanced a look out of the passenger window only to find that all traces of the fight and my friends and everything that had just gone down were gone, minus James' wet cigarette butt floating in the puddle of rain water.

Quil and Embry chattered wildly in the back of the van and Alice stole worried glances at me from her periphery as she drove. I pulled my hood up over my head and closed my eyes, dropping my head against the window. I needed to talk to Alice. I needed some advice. I needed to calm the heck down. I needed… sleep.

So, sleep I did. And the next morning, the sun pouring in through my window woke me up before my alarm clock.

"Here." Alice sighed as I stumbled through the living room and onto the couch. "Drink this, take a shower, and then you and I are going to talk."

I chugged my coffee greedily, practically inhaling over half the cup in one gulp. As I stepped into the shower I chuckled at the disgusting mess my hair had become over night. The rain water and sweat from the shower coupled with bed head made it look like freakin' Big Bird could come popping his happy, yellow head out of my scalp at any minute and tell me the letter for the day was D for DISGUSTING.

I stood beneath the steady warmth of the shower head and let it trickle down over every inch of my body. It felt amazing to be clean and warm and relaxed. I refused to let my mind wander, so instead, I sang. It was out of key and off tempo and would hurt anyone's ears within a mile radius, I'm sure, but it brought my mood up significantly and made me better prepared to talk to Alice.

Squeaky clean and with a fierce determination, I walked into the living room and sat beside Alice who had already snuck into the bathroom to retrieve my coffee cup for round two.

"So Al, I have a bit of a problem," I started. She grinned and leaned back propping her feet over my lap.

"I'm all ears, little miss!" she grinned.

Thank God for obnoxious, wonderful, insightful little friends…

Xxxxx

I tried really hard to make this chapter long enough to appease my few faithful readers who DON'T totally hate me for never updating. I hope this was worth the ungodly wait. I have no excuses. I just suck at updating.

The next chapter is in the works already. We'll see how long it takes to finish this one lol.

HUGE THANK YOU! HUGE HUGE HUUUUGE! To my beta shevanishedlikeadream who was a beast and edited this entire thing not once, but TWICE because my silly self had to go re-write pieces so this flowed better. I owe you a million billion dollars and the Cullen of your choice, my dear 3


	16. Chapter 16: Progress, or so it seems

I don't own.  
You know the shpeal.  
I'm sorry that I fail every time I try to update.  
Thank you shevanishedlikeadream and MissJBacon for your continued love and support and help with this beast. I love you both times a million!  
Thanks to YOU GUYS who are still reading. You're troopers and I owe you huge!  
Hopefully this chapter is satisfying for you all. I finished it while watching TCON: Prince Caspian, the Grinch (cartoon), Adventure Time, and The Regular Show all in succession. Interesting combo…

Anyways, away we go!

**EPOV**

I kept my distance because I knew I'd upset her. I saw the disgust on her face, her fear of me as Alice dragged her away and into the van. I watched as she dropped her head against the window, her hood up and over her eyes as she sent Jessica to take me back home.

She probably hated me now and I couldn't blame her. I shouldn't have let her see me that way, spitting and angry and out of control in my rage. I could have passed for some unstable half-human half-monster like the Incredible Hulk or something. I'd probably terrified her.

And had I been wrong? I swear, as the storm kicked up around us, I'd heard her yell at him. But maybe I was mistaken. Maybe she'd wanted James to kiss her. Maybe I'd jumped the gun, making up some irrational story in my head, when in reality they'd simply sneaked away for a private moment. She did send Sam and the others ahead of them with the rest of her drum equipment.

I strummed, frustrated, over my guitar doing nothing but making noise. Music, today, was escaping me. With shaking hands, I set the guitar down beside the chair in my living room and raked through my hair, angry with myself for being so stupid, so disrespectful, so hurtful.

God, I'd really messed up...

_But I was only trying to protect her..._

Xxxxxxx

**BPOV**

Alice hates James.

A lot.

Alice wants to rip James' cajones off and I quote, "shove them so far up his ass that every thing he eats for the next month tastes like dirty, sweaty balls."

Alice has had me in stitches the past couple of days with her crazy "castrate James" plans and I love her for it because it keeps me from falling apart over the fact that not only do I really dislike James myself, but Edward hasn't so much as said hello to me since that night after the show.

I'm not exactly sure why, but then again, when it rains it pours. And lately life has been a freaking monsoon.

On the upside, Rose had been released from the hospital and seemed to be slowly getting back to her normal, feisty self. We were still waiting with bated breath to hear her test results, but she was coping well despite all of the anticipation. She even let Em come over and watch a few episodes of Scrubs with her last night, which we were all excited to see.

Baby steps.

The poor guy was still walking around semi-mopey so we'd decided that tonight was our night. We were going to hang out and have fun and eat triple-decker PB&J's and not mope about like a couple of whiney love sick bitches.

Now, all I needed to do was get through the next forty-five minutes of work and bypass Jess as she came into relieve me for her night shift. I knew it was silly to be mad at her. It wasn't like I was super obvious about my feelings for Edward. At least, I tried not to be. And if I really cared about Edward, I'd want him to be happy.

Right?

I mean, maybe Jess can make him happy… I shuddered at the thought.

"Earth to Bellaaaa!" Angela sang out, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked myself out of my day dream and looked down at the rag I'd been using to wipe down the counter. Angela chuckled and I smiled sheepishly at her.

"Are you alright? You've been lost in thought most of your shift today." She patted my shoulder and laughed. "You've literally been wiping over that same spot for the last five minutes or better."

My face reddened and I sighed, crumpling the dish rag and tossing it to the side. I spun and braced myself against the counter with the palms of my hands, drumming my fingers on the underside and shrugging my shoulders.

"Kinda tired today. I Stayed up way too late goofing off with Alice last night and making sure Rose was alright. I need a nap." I groaned, running a hand through my hair. I was never great at lying and Angela looked a bit skeptical but she just laughed and shook her head.

"How is Rose doing? Have her test results come back yet?"

"Not yet. It'll be a couple of days, I guess. She's holding up though considering." I shook my head. "I pray to God that her test results come back cancer free. That would absolutely destroy her and Emmett. She hasn't even been told one way or the other yet and it's already put barriers up between them the size of the Great Wall."

Angela hummed sympathetically and patted my shoulder.

"That's really too bad. I've only met Emmett in passing, but he seems like such a sweet guy. A big teddy bear. And poor Rose! I hope things turn out okay."

I smiled and nodded at the guest who'd just approached the counter, warmed by the way Angela just cared for people.

Time flew by the rest of the day. I busied myself with stocking and prepping for the night team and was in a decent mood by the time my shift had ended.

"Yeah. SO hot. You don't even understand. His hair, his eyes, his smile. Everything…. Girl, yes!...I think so?...No, I didn't kiss him. There was a lot going on. Next time. Definitely next time."

My skin began to crawl as I listened to Jess gushing into her cell phone about who I could only guess was Edward. I hated it. My stomach churned and I bolted for the door as soon as she'd stepped far enough through it so as to not stop me on my way. I felt bad for not saying goodbye to Angela but Jessica was killing my happy high and I promised Emmett I wouldn't be a whiny love sick bitch tonight.

So, to calm myself down I decided to walk home from work. I needed the exercise and the time to think. Too much going on in the life of Bella Swan right now and I didn't necessarily like it.

I buried my hands in my pockets as I walked, shrugging into the cool air. The wind nipped at my cheeks and sent shivers down my spine reminding me that I was alive but that the world was much, much bigger than me and my puny problems.

The realization hit me hard and I steeled myself, feeling selfish and stupid in my jealousy. So a boy you have some childish crush on has eyes for someone else... big effing deal! Rosalie was in the hospital with a fever as hot as Hades, being rushed into emergency surgery and in seconds, her chances of having children were quite possibly destroyed forever. Yet, here I was moping around in my sorry little boo-hoo Bella bubble because my best friend could possibly be happy with someone who wasn't me.

Grow the hell up, Swan! You selfish little brat! There is a big world out there and a lot more to live for than just some silly little crush on a boy who is so far out of your league you may not even be playing the same sport!

My chest throbbed as I listened to my scolding from mental-me, but I took a deep breath and marched forward with a new determination. Edward would forever be one of my very best friends and if being with the big breasted, blonde haired, fake tanned volley ball player type is what made him happy then I needed to be supportive and stop acting like anything but his best friend.

If being Edward's best friend was all I was ever going to have the chance to be then I was going to be the best damn best friend I possibly could be.

Though the thought of Edward with Jessica, touching her, holding her hand, laughing at her dumb jokes, kissing her, made my stomach churn and my chest ache, I was still able to smile at the thought of being a part of his life. My smile widened at the idea of going home and sitting on the couch with Emmett and eating triple-decker PB&J's while watching The Office.

Emmett. Poor Emmett. The kid had so much going on in his life right now and I needed to be there for him. Rose wasn't interested in anyone else, she was preserving herself and his future out of fear and I could only imagine what he must feel like having someone you want so close, yet just out of reach. That steeled my resolve. I was done being Boohoo Bella. And as I picked up my pace jogging towards the apartment, my smile broke wide and I swallowed my hurt and headed for my big brother upstairs.

xxx

"Emmett!" I pounded my fists in an excited cadence against the apartment door, throwing my hips to and fro and watching my feet as I bounced from toe to toe. I started giggling when I realized how much I looked like I was trying to recreate all that was Kevin Bacon in Footloose. The only things missing were my acid washed, tight rolled jeans and a white t-shirt.

Lost in my musings as I was, I didn't even notice the door opening and I squealed when my fists came smacking down into Emmet's massive pecs.

"Oof! Jeez, Bellzilla! Excuse a man for needing a moment to drop off a load of timber! Just because you have poor timing doesn't mean you've gotta beat me up for it! I got to the door as fast as I could." He rubbed his chest like I'd actually done any sort of damage.

"TMI, Em. T-M-I." I grimaced.

I looked up into the big oaf's face and took in his appearance. His eyes were tired and his shoulders hung forward, uneasy and stressed but he kept his smile wide and his dimples poked out from his cheeks all baby-faced and adorable. He looked about how I felt, coping but in need of a hug. So, I leapt forward and wrapped my arms around him, squeezing with everything I had in me. I squeezed so tight that my arms began to tremble and ache.

The air left Emmett's lungs in one giant whoosh and I felt a low chuckle rumble across my cheek as I pressed my face into his chest. He wound his arms around my shoulders and I felt his head plop forward landing against the top of my own and we stood in the doorway of the apartment for a god long while just hugging out the hurt.

Eventually, once my arms began to tingle and fall asleep, we ended our much needed embrace and I felt Em's giant hand muss the hair on top of my head.

"Thanks, kiddo. I needed that." He murmured.

"I know. Me too." I smiled, punching him in the arm to break up the mushy moment we'd just shared.

"Okay, enough of the sappy and on with the happy!" I howled and Em slung his arm around my neck giving me the noogie of my life. He dragged me through the door and the laughter filling the halls could've been heard for miles.

Once he'd let me go and shut the door, I smoothed my hair back into place and quirked an eye brow in his direction.

"So," I grinned devilishly. "How do you feel about acid washed jeans and kick ass Kevin Bacon dance moves?"

Xxx

After three-count 'em- THREE triple-decker PB&J's each- we were competing to see who could eat the most in a sitting and it ended in a tie- and countless hours of recreating Footloose in the boys' apartment, miraculously, without barfing goober colored vomit all over, we'd both collapsed into sweaty, over-stuffed, happy piles on the living room floor.

The Office was playing on the T.V. and Emmett was plunking lazily on Edward's acoustic guitar as we chatted and came down from our silly little high. It had been a successful night in my eyes and Emmett, though tired, seemed to be in much higher spirits. I felt so accomplished.

"So, in the least mopey manner possible, tell me what's going on with you and Eddie." Emmett sighed, finger picking a slow but catchy version of Metric's Help, I'm Alive. My smile faded and I tucked my hands behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling.

"I don't know." I sighed. "I guess I just let my mind run with things and the damn thing took them way too far. Which, is my own fault. I'm pretty sure there's something going on between he and one of the girls I work with."

"What?" Emmett quit his strumming, which was really too bad because he was doing Metric some real justice without even trying.

I shrugged, my shoulder making a muffled scraping sound as it rubbed against the carpet. It kind of made my skin crawl.

"They showed up together at the show and I heard Jess talking about kissing him when she came into work today." A lump began to rise in my throat and I swallowed it away before I continued. "It's fine though, I mean, she's a bit of an airhead and sort of a floozy, but if she makes him happy then I'm happy for them."

"I don't think that's what's going on at all, Bells." Emmett said, obviously confused. "I mean, the way you two are together-the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you- it's pretty obvious that-"

"Mmmm, no. Stop right there Broseph." I snapped, rolling over and clasping a hand over his half open lips. He chuckled and slid my hand away, pulling me into him and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I rolled my head to the side to rest against his chest.

"Edward and I are friends. Best friends even-" I tried to continue.

"Hey! What am I? Chop liver?" Emmett protested and I giggled slapping him in the arm.

"You're my best friend too, goofball. But you're like… my big brother. If I looked at Edward as a big brother, it would be a little weird for me to have had feelings for him at one time. You know?"

"Had?" Emmett asked, somehow avoiding my incest joke. He was normally all about the jokes.

"Yes, Em. Had. Past tense. Not anymore. I refuse to drool over someone else's sex feast." I crossed my arms and Emmett erupted with laughter, shaking me with him and making me laugh too.

"I'm going to have to remember that one." He chuckled. "But really, Bells. I think you're jumping the gun just a little bit, don't you? I mean, have you _talked _to him about this Jessica girl? Have you asked him why they came to the show together or if anything Jessica was supposedly saying was true? I mean, if she's an air head and kind of a floozy maybe she's making it all up? I just can't see Edward suddenly having eyes for someone like that when he's been so-" I looked up at Em and his brow knit together, his lips tight in a frustrated little knot as if he were trying to keep something important from spilling out. I crinkled my forehead in response.

"So, what?"

"Arghhh!" he groaned, rubbing a hand over his face and dropping it to the ground with a loud smack.

"You two just need to sit down and freakin' talk, Bell. It's not my place to say anything other than that. But I really truly think you're getting your panties in a confused little wad for no reason."

"If he wants to talk about anything, I'm all ears. But I don't think that I'm wrong. I know what I saw. I know what I heard. It all sort of makes sense, ya know? But its fine! I promise. I'm fine and he's fine and everything is going to be F-I-N-E!" I sang, out of key and stupid and really just wanting this awkward little talk to be over. I wasn't supposed to be sad or mopey, apparently he'd forgotten the rules.

"So let's just kill the Eddie chatter and continue our happy night, please?" I begged. Emmett sighed, rolling his eyes and snatching the guitar back up.

"Whatever, little sister. You'll see, sooner or later." Before I could respond, he began plunking away at Help, I'm Alive again and I was engrossed. We spent the rest of the evening reinventing awesome songs and _not _talking about Edward and I loved every second of it.

Xxxx

Band rehearsal was a little bit awkward and alotta bit exciting. We polished off our newest song, adding harmonica to the end and pulling out the drums so I could relax. Our set was so full and intense that I didn't have half a second to let my arms rest. I was thankful for the relief even if it was only about a minute.

"So," Quil grinned, chowing down on his grilled cheese from Uptown Diner. The BBQ sauce he'd been dipping it in dripped from the corner of his mouth and onto his pant leg but he was too excited to take notice. "I talked to the guy from the label today. We have enough songs to record on now that we've got this song down and he already has a tour offer for us!"

"Hell yeah!" Embry crowed, dipping one of his french fries into Quil's BBQ sauce.

James hadn't even glanced at me the entire practice and that was okay. I'd really rather he keeps his eyes as well as every other part of his body well away from me. I was determined to make this band thing work without any unnecessary contact with the guy.

"Sweet. When do we leave?" James croaked. Being stuck outside in the rain had given him a gnarly cold and he was just getting over it so he sounded even creepier than normal.

"In a couple of months. That gives us time to get work off and get things together and solid. He extended the tour from a month to six weeks! If we want to take the offer of course. Which, I mean, I sure as heck do!"

Wow. Six weeks. On tour. We'd done little tours here and there, extended weekends and a few two week tours, but nothing this big. My heart raced and dropped all at the same time. Six weeks on the road, on _tour_, was something we all wanted, but that also meant six weeks away from Edward.

I know, I know. He's taken you skanky little git! But he was still my best friend, and though it had been two weeks since we'd even spoken to each other, I didn't want to go six weeks without being able to hang out with him or at the very least, pass him in the hall way on our way to work.

Good Lord in Heaven, listen to me! I must be about to start my period or something…

"Earth to Bella!" Embry laughed. Quil smirked, raising an eyebrow in my direction.

"You in, Swan?" I shook my head, embarrassed that I'd been caught in la-laward land.

"Of course, I'm in! This is what we've been waiting for, isn't it?" my heart thumped a little faster and I decided to ignore my Edward worries for the time being. Maybe some time away from him would be good for me. It could make it easier for me to let him go and get over the stupid painful little crush I'd developed on him.

Suddenly, a six week tour was the best idea in the history of man.

Xxxx

"Six _weeks?" _Rose exclaimed, pausing The Office we had playing in the background while we ate lunch. She looked better and better every day.

"Six weeks! Isn't that amazing?" I crowed.

"It is! It's just a long freakin' time!" she laughed, the last of her sandwich disappearing through her lips.

"I know, but we need it." I sighed.

"You mean, _you_ need it." I swear to God the more she and Alice hung out the more intuitive she became. I needed to keep them apart for a little while.

"Shut up, Rose." I snapped, stuffing my sandwich in my face so I didn't have to answer any questions or explain why I was blushing and slightly panicky. Explaining, once again, my boy drama to Rosalie was not on my agenda for the day.

"You know, telling me to shut up only makes it a thousand times more obvious that I'm so right. SO right." She chuckled, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Thanking the Heavens above for showing me mercy, I stood up to take my empty plate into the kitchen as Rosalie's phone rang from beside her on the couch.

I heard Rose gasp and turned back to face her.

"Rose?" I asked, slowly.

"It's the hospital…" she said, her voice and face losing all of its previous happy color. Her hand shook as she brought the phone to her mouth and answered.

I waited with bated breath, unable to move, as Rose sat completely motionless and listened to whatever the person on the other line was saying. Speaker phone would be really great right now; I was dying to know what they had found out.

Finally, I was able to make my feet move and shucked my plate into the trash before running back to sit beside Rose. I reached over and squeezed the hand she had tucked into her lap.

_God please. Please let it be good news. Please._ I begged. As I looked up into Rose's face, my heart sank. Tears were spilling over her cheeks and her chin trembled as she listened to the person on the other line.

"Thank you, so much. I'll be there. Yes… you too." Rose nearly whispered as she hung up and dropped her phone to the couch.

"Rose…" I started, almost too nervous to ask what they'd said.

"It's not cancer." She croaked. "And they said I was still fertile. There's a chance I can still have children!" She turned to me then and I squealed wrapping my arms around her as we both sobbed. I'd never felt such relief or such joy as I did for her in that moment. I wanted to toss her over my shoulder Tarzan style and swing out of our window and in through the boys' downstairs and make her tell Emmett everything. Make them reconcile and make her let him back in now that her worst fears were confirmed unnecessary.

"This is amazing, Rose. I knew you'd be okay! You're beautiful and amazing and wow. You're such a fighter!" I began to babble as my tears soaked her hair and hers soaked my shoulder.

"I have to go find Emmett." She said, suddenly leaping up from my embrace. I was honestly shocked.

"I told him… I promised that when I knew… He'd be the first to know. I just… I love you! I love you, Bells!" I could tell she was freaking out and it made me giggle. This whole day, all of this wonderful news was almost more than I could handle.

"GO!" I laughed, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Alice won't be back for a few hours yet, you've got time."

Rose slung her arms around me one more time and then dashed for the door.

"Thank you, Bella. For everything." Her watery smile made my eyes tear up again, but she was out of the door and heading down the hall before she noticed.

I plopped down on the couch and tucked my feet beneath me.

Rose was going to be okay. Yeah, she'd have issues here and there but the surgery had been a success and she was cancer free. Hallelujah! She and Emmett would reconcile and things could start to go back to normal.

And I was going on tour. For six weeks. And those six weeks would put me exactly where I needed to be; over Edward.

I sighed, happy that things were finally looking up, my heart bubbling despite the hole that gaped open in its center over my lame little Edward crush.

_Time to crush the crush, Bella._ Mental-me sighed.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I laughed, hoping it was Emmett sending me some sort of signal of his excitement about Rose's news.

Instead, I was greeted with a name that I hadn't seen on my screen in nearly two and a half weeks. My hands trembled as I opened the message, my giddy heart sinking into the pit of my stomach as I read the four little words on the screen.

_We need to talk…_

Xxxx

SO… I definitely somehow thought I'd finished and posted this chapter months ago… apparently, I was mistaken. So, I'd started on the next chapter like an idiot. Which is good and bad I suppose. Bad because I took FOUR MONTHS to update, but good because the next chapter is well on its way. Hahaha I don't have a computer and haven't had since about October so it's been slow going with my fan fiction indulgence. I'm praying I get a computer for Christmas that would be awesome haha. So please, be patient with me!

I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas! Let me know if you get anything awesome. Jackson Rathbone and the rest of the Twi-gang are filming a couple hours away from me. I'm thinking as a present to myself, I'm going to head up that way and watch 100 Monkeys play again. I think that sounds perfect.

Merry Christmas! (Remember the Reason…) Til next time!


	17. Chapter 17: Lay Em Down

recap: (just for you cnelson;))- Bells had a show with her band, James got into the liquor and got too handsy with Bella. Insert rainstorm and craziness and Edward showing up with Jessica and attacking James... of course Bella can only focus on the fact that Edward was coming to the show... late...with Jessica, not the fact that he was going all hulk on James in her defense...fast foward to awkward silence between Bella and Edward because Bella overheard Jess saying something about sucking face with who she could only believe was Edward... lots of assumptions and bad communication here. Bells has some good therapeutic whiney time with Emmett. Rose gets some good news about her girly bits and still being able to have kids. Alice and Jasper are all crazy and adorable together. And E and B still need to talk this business out before B leaves for tour...(which E is stil unawares to). Rose gets her fantatsic news and Bells gets a text from Edward saying they need to talk... and this is where we pick up...

xxxxxx

I paced the living room, my palms sweaty and my thoughts a garbled mess. Edward's text had totally thrown me. I knew we needed to talk, but I would just rather play the avoidance game. It wasn't as humiliating and I could keep all this junk to myself. My hands shook as I responded to his text.

_"We do."_

_**"Now?"**_

_"Right now?"_ I was not ready for heart to heart 9000 with Edward at the moment. I needed more time to gather my thoughts. I wished that he would just stop trying to beat this dead horse and I could get over myself and be his best friend again. I missed him. I wanted to be excited when I told him about our upcoming tour and instead I was nearly sick with anxiety over him even being in the same room with me again.

"**Please, Bella?" **

I'd paced for a solid five minutes, pulling my phone in and out of my pocket trying to think of a response. Who knew one little word would be so hard to type? "Ok" or "No", that's all I had to say and I couldn't make myself do it. I walked over to the window in the dining room and pressed my forehead against the cool glass, my breath fogging my view of the city as I tried to calm my nerves.

_Inhale. Exhale. Good girl. _I thought to myself as my breathing began to slow and my shoulders relaxed.

_You can do this. You can do this._ I thought, feeling incredibly foolish. I was like the little engine that cant.

"Ok." I said breathlessly. "I"m not even going to think about it. I'm just going to pull out my phone and whatever I type first... that's what I"ll go with." I mumbled into the empty room.

But before my hand could reach for my pocket, the door opened and a flame began to lick its way up my spine. He was standing behind me, I knew it was him before I'd even turned around. His affect on me was completely unfair and it immediately pissed me off.

As I rounded on him I braced myself with my palms flat against the window sill. He stood nervously in the door way, hands shoved deep into his dark washed jeans. He wore a look of desperation and hesitance that made his jaw flex and his eyes flash and my resolve faltered almost immediately.

"You can't knock?"I squeaked. "Or hey! Here's an ideat! How about waiting for a response before you just go barging into someone's apartment like you own the place?" I fumed, crossing my arms to keep the tremble that had begun in them from being too obvious. The snarky remark had come out sounding only half as angry as I'd hoped it would, but I kept my scowl planted firmly on my face.

I expected something like shock or remorse to show up in Edward's eyes, but instead the corner of his mouth quirked up into that amused little grin he wore so well and I wanted to pull all of my hair out by the roots because he was getting to me. He was crumbling my shell and he knew it.

_Get ahold of yourself, woman!_

His hand found its way to the back of his head tugging at the messy bronze strands as he slowly moved into the apartment, keeping his eyes carefully from mine as if looking into them would turn him to stone. Just call me Medusa. I partially wished I had that advantage just so I could keep him planted like a gargoyle in the doorway for the remainder of our little exchange.

"I'm sorry." he murmured. "I just really need to talk to you and you weren't answering and I know it was only a few minutes but it felt like forever so I decided to try my luck here." he rambled and then stopped and let the rest of the breath he had harbored expell from his lungs in a giant woosh.

He shuffled a few more feet into the room and suddenly the space between us was too little and too much and maybe I could squeeze myself in between the panes of glass in the window if I tried hard enough. There had to be some fancy little pill sitting on some tiny table at my feet that could make me shrink so I could run away to Wonderland right? I searched the floor desperately knowing how crazy it was. But nothing could be crazier than how quick my heart was racing the closer Edward got to me.

Since when did _anyone _have the power to make me this ridiculous? I listened to the paint scraping up underneath my finger nails as I dug them deeper into the window sill and cringed at the sound. Coupled with the grinding noise my teeth were making as I locked my jaws together, one major head ache began to creep its way into my temples. I worked hard to unflex my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to lull the pain.

The breath caught in my chest and I froze as his warm palm cupped the side of my face. My entire body began to hum with electricity at his touch.

_RUN! _The scared little girl screamed inside of my head, but I couldn't move.

"Hey... are you ok? Bella, look at me. Please?" His voice was tender and concerned and I knew if I opened my eyes and looked into his, I'd lose it.

"I'm fine. Just... give me a minute?" It took everything in me to push him away, but I did. Without lookiing him in the face, I gave his chest a small shove and turned on my heel stalking into the living room.

"Bella, please just hear me out, okay?" Edwards voice rang out across the room. I sighed, feeling ridiculous and so defeated, but I kept my back toward him, not yet willing to give him my full attention. It didnt phase him.

"I am so sorry if I was out of line the other night. I'm sorry if I did or said anything to upset you or make you feel like I didnt think you could take care of yourself. That was not my intention in the least..." he began. "I'm... I just... I'm very protective of you. And that James guy is a total jack ass. I don't trust him, Bella. I don't trust him at all. I don't like the way he looks at you or the way he handles you. He's bad news and I don't know what happened I just... I saw him and I heard you and all I could think about was how much I wanted to kill him for mistreating you. I wanted him as far away from you as I could possibly get him and I wanted to beat the life out of him!"

I think this was around the time my heart stopped. I could hear him pacing behind me, his breaths coming out in short angry huffs.

"I'm not angry with you. Not at all, Edward. But... dont you think that Jessica would be a little upset with you for being so over protective of me?" I turned slightly toward him, wanting to gauge his reaction. His pacing had stopped and I was met with silence. As I turned fully around, I took in Edwards appearance. His eyebrows knit together and his mouth hung open slightly. He looked completely confused.

"I...I mean... I want you to be happy, Edward. I don't want to come in between you and your girlf-...you and Jess. Whatever you two are-" Now I was rambling and my chest started to ache thinking about Edward and Jess together again. My eyes were burning like I could get all emotional and start crying like an idiot and I took a big deep breath before I tried to continue but Edwards eyes were now wide and his jaw damn near touched his feet. I was stunned into silence by his reaction.

"Isabella... Jessica and I are NOT dating." he choked out. "Are you... wow...you really?...Come ON!" he was nearly shouting now and my face was turning redder by the second. What was going on here?

"You two showed up down town together...and I heard her talking about you on the phone the next day, Edward. She's nuts about you, obviously. She was talking about how next time she just knew you'd be swapping spit like a couple of horny teenagers."

Okay, so those weren't Jessica's exact words but I was getting jealous and petty and a little frantic at this point.

"Well, whatever you heard or think you heard, it isn't true. I thought we were closer than that Bells." He looked hurt now and I hated it. None of this was making sense. Though his face was all adorable and scrunched up, I was pissed off that he had the audacity to try to pull the guilt trip card when _he _was the one being all elusive and wishy washy. _I _was the one who got hurt, not him.

"What are you talking about? You're the one who didn't tell me you were interested in someone else! We wen't out for dinner and you dressed up and I thought...maybe..." Crap. Insert foot in mouth. You're looking too desperate. BACK PEDAL, YOU IDIOT!

But I couldnt take it back. I couldn't unsay what I'd already said and the wheels in Edwards head were visibly turning and I thought I was losing my best friend all over again. For good this time. As I searched for a way out, maybe possibly via one of the little air vents in the wall, I saw it all come together in Edwards head.

"You thought what?" he asked, exasperated.

Well, what else did I have to lose? It felt as though I were toting a hundred pounds of sand on my back. I looked down at the suddenly very interesting toes wiggling nervously at the ends of my feet.

"I thought maybe you felt...how I felt." I whispered, my cheeks burning with shame.

"And how, exactly, did you feel?" Edward's voice was low and much closer than I'd recalled.

"As if my jealousy of you and Jessica doesn't say it all?" I snapped, whipping my head up and fixing my eyes on his. He was playing games. He knew exactly what I meant. For heavens sake I was a freaking open book. He'd have to be a complete idiot not to see it and I knew it.

"You have NOTHING to be jealous of." Edward murmured, his eyes so feircly boring into mine I thought they would melt into my skull.

"I don't understand." the words were hardly audible as they passed my lips.

And before another thought could even pass through my mind, Edward had closed the distance between us and the small squeak that left my mouth was swallowed up by his as it brushed over and devoured me, warming every part of my trembling body, head to foot.

Was this seriously happening right now? At first I couldnt respond, my eyes wide with shock and my heart nearly hammering out of my chest.

Edward was kissing me.

Edward Cullen was kissing _me. _

The angry butterflies slammed around in my gut and I panicked at the realization that I could very easily throw up in his mouth right now.

_Don't screw this up, Swan!_

His hand found the skin on the small of my back as his other hand pressed gingerly into the side of my face, holding me to himself. His tongue traced my bottom lip and my mind finally caught up with me, allowing me to respond rightfully. The butterflies were happier now, just as fluttery but the sensation I was feeling was far from wanting to vomit my nerves all over Edward and his gloriously soft mouth.

My hands found his hair and grasped the back of his neck and the taste of him was so intoxicating I couldn't remember what it was that we were bickering about.

_Jessica who?_

The hand pressing into my lower back slid around to tug at my hip and I shivered eliciting a small whimper. I could feel Edward smile against my mouth as he tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth. In that moment, I wanted to completely devour him. Nothing else mattered in the world, just the feeling of his mouth moving over mine and his hands on the bare skin beneath my shirt. I never wanted to let go of him, but I was starting to get dizzy and I needed to come up for air.

I tore my hands away and placed them flat against his chest and immediately his lips left mine only to softly brush my forehead. I had to focus on the air coming back into my lungs and sighed softly when I realized Edward's breathing was just as labored as my own.

"Wow." I breathed, my eyes fixated on the small triangle of skin exposed to me by his navy blue V-neck.

He chuckled, pulling me in close and standing with his arms locked tightly around me.

"What just happened?" I asked quietly, not willing to let myself believe that this wasn't some kind of incredible dream.

"Hopefully, I just showed you that I'm not interested in Jessica," Edward said lowly. " and that you really need to stop making assumptions."

xxxx

This chapter was so. freaking. short.

I'm sorry.

Real life is a bear, and it frequently likes to devour all of my writing time. I hope, for those of you still somehow sticking with this story, that this was a little bit of a treat. I figured I'd made you all wait long enough for these two to get it together.

Hopefully, I'll be able to post the next chapter MUCH MUCH MUCH sooner than this one has taken me.

I love you all for sticking with me through this. You're troopers.


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